Suleiman
Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
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First of all, welcome.
I was a little surprised at first that you posted your question here, rather than "Ask a Mistress", but for all I know you put one up there too and I just haven't seen it. Any way, here's my two bits' worth:
First of all, there is only so much that you can do online, only so far you can go. Sites like collarme are a great reference tool and sounding board. This is a good place to get feedback from people, and a good way to familiarize yourself with all the many and varied concepts that are all wrapped up in what we call the community. All in all, however, the hit to miss ratio on this place is pretty poor from the standards of an actual dating service. In order to do, rather than talk, you are going to have to go out and become a part of some community or clique in yur area. Finding a munch is probably a good first step. You can go, just as yourself, and check out the scene. Don't go looking to hook up - for the most part, that's not what a munch is for - but it will give you some idea of what sort of people are involved in your area, and you might find yourself getting invited to a few parties or events. Meet people, talk to people, and let them get to know you.
Now, I do realise that your "area" may be a very broad swath. Until you know a few people and are involved locally, you may have to drive out to some other city entirely just to attend the local "public" munch. If you really want to have this as a part of your life, it's worth the drive.
Mainly, be patient. A lot of the "douchebag" activities come from people who are either clueless, frustrated, or impatient. From your initial post, you don't strike me as clueless, but it's easy to get impatient, especially when emailing somebody on this server. That's another thing - as far as trying to meet people on CM, you're going to get a lot of non-responses and a lot of refusals, and damn few acceptances. So far, with one major exception, all the people whom I have met here and would want to extend an invitation to or accept an invitation from are people I met here on the message boards. That means being involved, asking questions, offering input, and giving people here a chance to get to know you better. Not a bad way to spend your spare time. Folks here come from all over, have a wide range of experience, and many are well connected - your best shot at finding a local group to participate in may come from hanging out here or on some similar website.
Any way, it's not going to happen tomorrow, I'm sorry to say (Or if it does, I don't want to hear about it. I need my illusions, gosh darn it) but it you keep at it and follow the sage advice given by some of the other respondants (especially the part about not acting like a douchebag), you can go far.
Good luck!
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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.
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