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MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: finding that special someone in melb (6/27/2007 6:57:00 AM)
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1. If you're new, spend time and effort now - when you do NOT have a domme - learning about the lifestyle as much as possible. All newbies say they are sincere. Many less take the time and effort to learn on their own (reading non-porn books about the lifestyle, utilizing message boards like this, getting involved in their local scene, attending conventions that offer diverse classes, etc). Sitting around expecting to find a domme who will teach you everything puts you firmly in the masses - dommes look for someone who is head and shoulders above the masses. If you are too lazy to put this time and effort into it, dig into your pockets and go see a prodomme who you are going to compensate your lack of time and effort with your finances.
2. Use that information that you are learning to soul search and get a solid concept of what it is you are looking for out of the lifestyle, and what you have to offer as a potential sub. If you don't know what you want, you can't complain about what you get. Dommes are going to want to know what the sub has to offer if they're going to be interested - so you need to know what you have to offer in order to "sell" yourself to her. Experience may change this over time but it gives you a starting place.
3. Look at your personal life. A single sub (no girlfriends or SO's) will have better luck finding a domme. If you're married or otherwise involved and looking for a domme on the side, then you will greatly reduce your chances of finding a lifestyle domme, and a prodomme may be your only option.
4. Look at your life schedule (work, school, other obligations on your time you may have) and available funds. What kind of radius are you reasonably willing to travel around you to see a domme? Are you willing to relocate in time? The wider of a radius that you can reasonably travel, the more options you'll have. Also, if the scene is very small where you live, are you willing to relocate to an area that has a thriving scene in order to better your chances?
5. Look at what methods you are using to find a domme. While online might seem like a quick 'n' easy way to connect, there's a lot of BS on here and "real" people tend to be very cautious because of it. Get out and about at scene events whenever possible. DO things rather than sit on the computer and wish for them - activitiy will show you are more sincere than promises to act in the future.
Good luck!
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