It seems to me that some Goreans would say you have a "fragile ego" because you "can't handle" it. I know I have been told that by some. I was new to Gor at the time, and accepted the judgement and tried to see things differently. Still, all along, and right down the line, I felt that what I was really being criticized for was my unwillingness to conduct myself in accordance with someone else's rules based on their interpretations of Gor.
Who determines a man is gorean? Your property or you?
Where she is concerned, I do. I thought I said that already.
Maybe where you live strange men announce they are gorean all the time to your girl while shopping, who knows. CA is a strange and wonderful place. You say it is not for your girl to judge who is or who isnt, but by not addressing a man as master who has clearly stated he is, by her making the choice to address him as Bob, or even Sir, there is judgement there on her part.
The only judgement that she is making is that he is a stranger, and not someone known to her master. Beyond that, it's not hers to judge. She hasn't made a choice to address him in any way. She comports herself toward him as she has been instructed to comport herself toward strangers by her master.
A man approaches her while she is pinching mellons, notices her collar and says he is a gorean Master. Not too likely, but lets play this out. What does she do? She does what you have instructed her to, I hope. Does she address him as master? Sir?..or hey idiot? Or does she use her own judgement to determine the course of action?
She says "pleased to meet you" and, if he is interested, lets him know how he can get in touch with me, if he is so inclined. She doesn't defer to him as if he were a Gorean man, because she doesn't know, and until I know, he isn't, as far as she is concerned. That isn't her judgement, that's my instruction to her.
How harmful is a word? By addressing him as master, is this putting her in harms way? I am not knocking BDSM but this is an issue for many who follow that line. I agree with Malk, some men can't handle their slaves calling another master, you hear it all the time from BDSM.
A word isn't harmful at all. However, by refering to him as "Master", just because he says so, she has in fact made a judgement (that being that she's chosen to take his word for it). Once she has made that judgement, where then does she draw the line? Is it at "alright, slave girl, here's my shopping list, finish my shopping for me", or is it at "I think I'd like you to blow me, follow me to my car now"?, or somewhere in between?
As far as my slave goes (and this is true for just about every Gorean man that I know who isn't just a chatroom commando) men fall into two categories. There are men that I know, and men that I don't. She accepts my judgement about men that I know, and behaves toward them accordingly. Men that I don't know are just strangers, regardless of what they may or may not claim to be. In that way, she makes no judgement about men at all. She just accepts my judgements. It is the only way that our way of life works here on earth outside chatrooms.
I agree with Malk, some men can't handle their slaves calling another master, you hear it all the time from BDSM.
My girls refer to a number of men as Master. They just happen to be men that I have met. They aren't strangers, in other words.
I don't expect my girl to kneel in the grocery store, that is a bit too much role play for my taste.
You and I must have differing definitions of "role-play". Role-play to me is donning a persona that isn't really you. If a man that my girl knows to be a Gorean man were to approach her, she would kneel. She isn't playing a role. She just happens to be a Gorean slave, and in the presence of a Gorean free man, she kneels.