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Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/29/2007 10:57:58 PM

winterlight

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I am not sure how to phrase this question. Are their different cultures where BDSM is confusing?
Say for example a Dom from India due to His cultural background would be harder on a sub/slave than another Dom from a different culture?

Are there cultures that one should avoid in this l/s due to harsh treatment?

one has read about the different treatment of women in the newspaper and that got me thinking...

For the record i like all people of all races. i was just wondering what impact it has on BDSM lifestyles.

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/29/2007 11:03:08 PM

slaveish

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The BDSM dynamic is a relationship like any other. Get to know the person before you submit to him. Generalizing a race or a culture would be unfortunate and impossible.

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/29/2007 11:06:18 PM

winterlight

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agreed but i had a Dom point something out to me and i wondered that is why i posed the ?
I hope i just posed it correctly..

If i offend anybody my apologies. I do like people.. :)

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/29/2007 11:36:46 PM

chellekitty

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i understand where you're coming from...not only am i of mixed heritage, my parents grew up in completely different cultures...my mom american and my dad spent his first 12 years in Sri Lanka and the next 10 in Singapore...and there are differences in culture and at the same time there are differences in people...my father is domineering at best, abusive at worst...one of his brothers lets his wife walk all over him (she definately wears the pants)...one of his brothers is a loving doting husband and father where there is no definate pants wearer (though he did spend all his childhood in Singapore, none in Sri Lanka)...and his asshole brother is an angel around his adult family and molested me and attempted to rape my mother (she's not family because she's the "white lady" my father married)...
100 people can go thru the same exact physical experience and come out with 100 different resulting emotional expeience and personality changes or reinforcements...
in other parts of the world there are social norms that seem extreme to people in our part of the world...scarification in Africa...caste systems in south central asia...(my grandfather married "below himself" and was dissowned by his family, though that may not seem so strange in some parts of the USA...)...in some muslim countries, like Morocco, a female cannot leave the country without an "in charge" male's permission...and its not unheard of for someone from morocco to bring their american wife and children to visit home and not let them leave, or let her leave but not with the children...
my best advice...well funny how it comes up...communication, communication, communication...part of the get to know you thing, personal history and expectations...and oh no...a whole series of what if questions...i believe in informed consent and if you're not informed of the whole situation you can not rationally consent to it...
my 2 cents...
chelle
House Infernus

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 6/29/2007 11:37:45 PM >

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/29/2007 11:40:49 PM

winterlight

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ty ty ty!!

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/30/2007 5:23:57 AM

Rover

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I've travelled throughout the US to attend events and munches, and can say that there are some subtle (and not so subtle) regional differences. I liken it to the regional accents one encounters in speech.

Overseas, the nature of BDSM is considerably different. While I guesstimate power exchange relationships comprise a one in four minority in the US, that minority becomes exceedingly small outside the US. In other words, power exchange relationships are a US cultural phenomena.

That's not surprising considering that many countries have a long historical record of S/M oriented brothels, bath houses, etc. B/D and S/M haven't been something they've had to form a sub-culture around in order to sate their individual proclivities. They simply had to wander down to the local brothel that catered to those particular interests, and for the right price someone would be your Top, or bottom, or whatever you desired (whatever costs more).

Midori wrote a great article a while back, documenting her visit to Japan with the idea of exploring her ancestral roots and their historical relationship to BDSM. And despite being a well-traveled and experienced lifestyler who would know what to look for and how to do it, she was only able to find a few bath houses and strip clubs populated by people had did not understand the concept of a BDSM power exchange relationship.

Then there are countries (and regions) with theocracies and the like, where BDSM isn't safe to practice at all for fear of punishment (not the good kind).

So yeah, the nature of BDSM differs considerably depending upon where you go.

John

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/30/2007 6:04:39 AM

amiciaN

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Culture can definitely effect communication! NChaka is from rural France and I am from America's 'heartland' and even though Master's command of English is near perfect, it is not His native tongue. There are also cultural differences in the more subtle contexts of meanings. I even have a good example.

Master and I were discussing friendship and He mentioned 'complicity between friends'. I expressed I had no desire for that type of friendship with anyone. It set off a debate that lasted for hours and cased no end of frustration for us both. The difficulty lies in the word complicity. Here in the US, there is a 'shady' component to the word. However, this is NOT the case in France. There it simply means a level of friendship where ideas can be conveyed in a look, or one can finish/predict the other's thoughts. To Him, complicity is normal and even desirable with a person's 'best friend'. Here, it conveys that something is being hidden with the intent to decieve, a meaning which is possible in France, but not the norm. It is just one small example of how cultures and language effect communication and story that makes us both smile now as it reminds us to clarify what we mean, especially when we get 'hung up' on one word or phrase.

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/30/2007 6:34:12 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

I am not sure how to phrase this question. Are their different cultures where BDSM is confusing?
Say for example a Dom from India due to His cultural background would be harder on a sub/slave than another Dom from a different culture?

i have met a Dom from India and we shared interesting and intelligent conversations about BDSM and how we discovered the lifestyles ...however we parted ways not because he was harsh - totally the opposite, we didn't connect on what we were looking for. he was more into toliet slavery and i wasn't interested in that. i've also met jewish rabbi in the lifestyle as well as a couple of Dutch Doms. merely be open-minded and less stereotypical, you'll find that we're all the same in this community.

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RE: Quesion about cultures and the lifestyle - 6/30/2007 8:26:22 AM

winterlight

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I am open minded and not harsh. I was wondering if things got in the way of communication. As stated above a Dom made a statement and it had me wondering...
I prefer to find out different opinions v.s. just One opinion...

ty for the replies.. :)

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