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RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:20:55 PM   
knightschild


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/20/2007
Status: offline 		 ive been raped and sexually abused in the past (i have no idea how a girl gets throu life without that happening to her), and have told my Doms about it. i can describe these incidents and feel nothing at all as it's like ive distanced myself from them (except childhood one i think ive completely blocked out). 

The Doms ive told have been horrified  and angry that another had done that to me, so i doubt very much that they were sexually turned on by what they were hearing.

If my Dom got turned on by what i was saying with these, ive no idea how i'd feel at all.  It could make me feel like He's sick.. but on the other hand i can be sensitive to my Doms feelings when they are turned on and my body can react to that..so maybe knowing He's turned on would go and turn me on??????? (ive not a clue, i think more likely i'd be upset about it).

The thing i find strange is i fantasise about rape, in these fantasises thou, i NEVER think about the real rapes or abuse.  i find no turn on with them.  ive no idea if i'd get very scared and freak or enjoy a rape role play.

(in reply to Spiderbite)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:28:56 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Lockit, were the e-mails you received in the same tone as the ones SRB received or were they sexually inappropriate? I don't see anything sexual, impolite or inappropriately prying in the ones SRB posted. 



_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:31:43 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't know if I can put it all here... but I will put one paragraph... as follows

Quote
So my request of you, if your willing, would be for you to share with me, in detail, your abusive history. I will not lie to you, yes I do hope that I find them stimulating, and please do not be offended by that. I do not condone rape, and I think rapist should be killed. Please understand, that I am seeking more then just a simple story, I seek understanding. Many so called subs that I have talked to, have an abused background. I need to know if an abused woman can give her gift without being influenced by her past.
Unquote

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:33:00 PM   
sadkitty


Posts: 14
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		I been raped by a Dom and not met another who was turned on by my experience most want to go beat him up it was emotionally very hard to get over What was worse my husband didnt believe me, because the dom and i had played before, but this was his (and maybe my husband never was sure about that)  wanting to make a slave out of me ! I was surprised with it and raped to make me a slave, no one talked to me! He and his wife was supposed to be mentering my husband on being a better Dom or Master ! It took years to get over it and we almost got divorced over it! The only reason we didnt is because of my finances and health insurance depends on my husband ! I am  still with him but we live as roomates because the Dom and he were such good "friends"  he still wants to be friends with him while i finally decide i had to move on but sometimes the tears still come! Being angry just hurts me and distubs my family i figure if i not leaving why think about it or be angry all the time


< Message edited by sadkitty -- 7/4/2007 10:36:19 PM >

(in reply to Spiderbite)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:34:44 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you, that one paragraph was enough.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:40:13 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't know if I can put it all here... but I will put one paragraph... as follows

Quote
So my request of you, if your willing, would be for you to share with me, in detail, your abusive history. I will not lie to you, yes I do hope that I find them stimulating, and please do not be offended by that. I do not condone rape, and I think rapist should be killed. Please understand, that I am seeking more then just a simple story, I seek understanding. Many so called subs that I have talked to, have an abused background. I need to know if an abused woman can give her gift without being influenced by her past.
Unquote


In my opinion that is massivly messed up!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:42:22 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't know if I can put it all here... but I will put one paragraph... as follows

Quote
So my request of you, if your willing, would be for you to share with me, in detail, your abusive history. I will not lie to you, yes I do hope that I find them stimulating, and please do not be offended by that. I do not condone rape, and I think rapist should be killed. Please understand, that I am seeking more then just a simple story, I seek understanding. Many so called subs that I have talked to, have an abused background. I need to know if an abused woman can give her gift without being influenced by her past.
Unquote


Sounds creepy, evasive and intrustive to me. Throw in a bit of getting a kick out of it for good measure. The fact that he asked for 'in detail, your abusive history' makes me sick. I lucked out that this stuff was brought to light before I could recieve any more emails; otherwise, I would NOT have been a lady, an I certainly would have reported Spiderbite to MJ and the Mods.
 
Lockit, thank you for taking the initiative and for shining light on things.    

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:45:20 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		So called subs...

Ok... maybe he does or did just want info to play devils advocate... why couldn't he be open and forthright and ask for information on whether one who had been raped could be in the lifestyle without feeling forced, etc.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:52:04 PM   
Spiderbite


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Lockit, if you would have read my last email, you would have learned that I was in the process of doing some work, and that I clarified who I requested information from. To clarify to any who really care…this is how our conversation went…

(from you) Are you just asking me or all of us? Lockit

(from me) Hello, No, I have asked one other, she happens to also be dominate, I would like to ask more, but they all seem to have doms, so I will wait to see if they are permitted. And then there are those, that I will not ask for various reasons.

(from you) What do you mean you will wait to see if they are permitted? Does this mean you asked them?

(from me) I asked 2 others if they would be permitted to talk to me about their history

Then I didn’t get any response from you and after I finished my work, I sent you another message to apologize for any confusion my brief and incomplete messages might have caused. And to hopefully let you understand that I am serious about this. If I wanted just rape stories I wouldn’t be here asking serious questions. And just for the record, I sent my last message before I noticed your comments on the message board. Furthermore, feel free to ask “lateralist1” who is the other dominate woman that I sent the request to, and “sleazy butterfly” and “adoracat” whom I sent a brief request to see if they are permitted to talk about their pasts.
Any other questions or comments are welcome!

And by the way, rape is nothing more then a violent act, and I feel that rapists should be killed. Period!

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:52:30 PM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips to all;

A Dom never says I told you so?







RE: Did rape or abuse influence your becoming a Sub or ... - 7/5/2007 4:18:47 AM   
He dips His lid to all,

My apologies to all you Ladies for my intrusion...

OP- your post does appear fishing as others have indicated and if  this enquiry is relevant to an actual personal experience then perhaps you should be more specific in order to gain better guidence rather than generalities.  If you are in fact questioning just for general knowledge then I suggest you do this at a munch or similar to obtain a far greater insight than on a chat board where considerably less qualifiable information is obtained.

Warm regards Driver. 

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Well warm up the 'Deliverence' lassos girls, lets have us a lynching.

Can I profit from the T shirts?  umm
"Broken off Strapons arent pain!"
 
Can we continue the thread with other suggestions for spiderboi's Lynching merchandise?

Edited cos I'm still learning how to embed prior posts (I'd welcome clues from girls that I could mimic!)

< Message edited by Driver1961 -- 7/4/2007 10:59:39 PM >

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:55:42 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Must be nice to be stimulated by your work is all I have to say...

(in reply to Driver1961)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 10:57:22 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I will not lie to you, yes I do hope that I find them stimulating, and please do not be offended by that.


I'm pretty sure this is where we're stuck. It is one thing to have someone you are in a relationship with relate the details of a sexual assault and become aroused as a result.

It is an entirely different thing to go trolling for victims in hopes of finding all of the juicy details of their assaults stimulating, regardless of what understanding or enlightenment that may bring you.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Spiderbite)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:03:37 PM   
Spiderbite


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		From that view, then I must agree with you, however, that was not my intention, regardless, i apologize,

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:08:56 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Spiderbite.. I do believe you have real questions but I think your method of research really sucks.  YOU'RE FIRED!

(in reply to Spiderbite)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:11:34 PM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips to all and positions His Dommy boots for a Rockspider Trampling.

I posted on your other thread giving you fair warning of how your threads appeared inappropriate to which you did not approach me for further understanding but ignored the advice that I posted with due regard to the sensitivities that Survivors long deserve in their healing.

Your excuses for emails to victims lack any credible substance and totally discredit any claims you now make to establish some crediblity.  
'The fat lady sings for you spiderboi'  (Sorry to Magik but I'm mimicing my Nana's saying)

Damm, what rock has he slipped under? I must grind that annoying venomous, seemingly insignificant spider!
 
"T" Shirt suggestions anyone?

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:15:00 PM   
Spiderbite


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline
Sometimes it is necessary to restate things said or even clarify ones actions…And yes, I understand this subject is very difficult for those that have experienced it. And perhaps I should have approached it differently.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:16:13 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Take what you want and need in life... just do no harm... get it?

(in reply to Spiderbite)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:17:59 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		It can go both ways.  Some people are wired to be intensely turned on by situations of power, control and aggression, even if they're also wired ethically not to do these things nonconsensually.

I was walking by a television when some reality cop show was on.  I saw a very young, very pretty long haired boy who had been brutally beaten by a street gang, lashed with a car antenna and chains to put welts and bruises over his face, back and chest.  He was shaking and almost crying.  I was instantly and powerfully aroused.  There was nothing I wanted in the world at that moment more than to beat and rape that boy.

I was thoroughly ashamed of myself for having that kind of reaction to someone who had just been beaten up badly in real life.  I spent some time kicking myself for being a monster until I realized that if I actually encountered that situation, I would not behave in any way inappropriately towards a real abuse victim no matter what was going on inside my head. 

Having the hot button doesn't make you a monster.  Acting on it does.  I definitely am wired to have that hot button, but I can trust myself not act on it outside of carefully controlled circumstances with consenting adults.  I would not have a high opinion of anyone who did act on that particular desire in a way that wasn't extremely considerate of the other person's physical and emotional health and their degree of consent.

(in reply to knightschild)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:18:31 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Dom... here baby... tell me about something that hurt you...

Submissive... It really hurts

Dom... I know baby... but tell daddy all about it so I can get off

Sounds reasonable to me... don't know why I have a problem with this

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Rape after effects - 7/4/2007 11:22:23 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiderbite


Sometimes it is necessary to restate things said or even clarify ones actions…And yes, I understand this subject is very difficult for those that have experienced it. And perhaps I should have approached it differently.


Yes, you certainly should have. If you would have approached this in an honest and forthright manner you may have gotten very different responses. The way in which you chose to approach it may have caused further trauma to people who are trying to heal.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Spiderbite)
Profile   Post #: 60
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