RE: how do you exert power on your sub/slave?

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RE: how do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 7:05:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
If you don't have power naturally, trying to strengthen it won't work.

This I disagree with. I know I have gained power on myself in many respects over time due to hard work and self awareness. I've also helped my partner gain power and confidence for himself over time as well. Power is definitely something you can strengthen in yourself, even if you don't naturally have it coming to you.

Though I agree- forcing it won't work either.

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RE: How do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 7:06:39 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
LA, I hadn't really got the whole authority vs. power thing till this thread. I was trying to formulate an answer and saw this and how profound that change is finally hit home.

Thank you Michael, it's always good to have another convert. And I always like knowing another way to try and present the idea for people to understand.

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RE: How do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 8:10:56 AM

SimplyMichael

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LA, what did it for me was the realization that it was authority to USE power.

LA and Sir Dominic, I think you two believe the same thing but don't see how each of you is saying it.

quote:

If you are naturally strong, you don't need to prove you are strong. You simply are. And that strength of character comes through from the consistency of your actions. Always controlled, balanced, and offered in a calm, relaxed manner.

It isn't power that is at issue, pumping iron and yelling louder isn't the form of power we are speaking of. You CAN learn to be more consistent, you can learn to be more balanced and calm. I sure as hell know I WASN"T any of those things when I entered the scene and I am much better at those things now BECAUSE of being in the scene.

I think we would all agree that seeking power is doomed to failure, seeking to become a better more grounded person IS power, whether you decide to keep it (top/dom) or surrender your authority as a submissive/bottom.

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RE: How do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:36:34 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

LA, what did it for me was the realization that it was authority to USE power.

By God! I think He's Got it!!!!!

Another one to spread the word .... he might not be St.Paul. He is just Simply Micheal.

editted to add:

I believe Mother Albatross will be proud of him as he wonders the lands speaking the good word.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 7/6/2007 9:40:19 AM >

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RE: how do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 10:16:40 AM

SirDominic

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LA, you are right - poor choice of wording on my part. I was referring to, as Michael said, trying to force it artificially. If you do not have it, pretending you do doesn't work; not for long anyway.

One can absolutely gain power with time and experience. Both within oneself and helping others to grow in this area as well.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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RE: how do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 1:20:49 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: yuyu777

especially in a 24/7 D/s, how do you exert power to manage the relationship? any specific things you do to strengthen your power?

Maintain the respect of your slave.

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RE: how do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 8:28:29 PM

Valyraen

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The quick, flippant answer: I breathe in a certain way... makes Kitten go all weak in the knees.

The longer, more thoughtful answer:
Power, for me, comes from control, both of myself and Aqua. She has a tendency toward the extremes of any particular range, and I tend toward moderation. And, there are times that I've got to kick myself in the ass to get up and get moving on something that needs to be done. Only when I have myself under control do I feel that I can provide Aqua with any input, and I encourage and always have encouraged her to question any instruction I give that doesn't make sense. It's not a way that works for everyone, but in our dynamic it works perfectly.

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RE: How do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/11/2007 3:37:47 PM

HardnRuff

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I Once saw that there are 4 types of power sources. Reverent power, Co ercive power, Legitimate power , and Expert Power ... Here is a good article on it on the best slave training site. .............. http://www.bestslavetraining.com/slavemgtpower.htm

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RE: How do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/11/2007 4:33:34 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff

I Once saw that there are 4 types of power sources. Reverent power, Co ercive power, Legitimate power , and Expert Power ... Here is a good article on it on the best slave training site. .............. http://www.bestslavetraining.com/slavemgtpower.htm

It's Web sites like the one you are referring to that piss me off. The site is attempting to imply they have some great idea here as far as the four types of power.. etc etc etc. It's is a site that very much seeks to inflate it's ego beyond any justifcation.

For the record.. these 4 power sources actually orginate from the works of French and Raven... here is a couple links that can provide some reading material to expore this idea of power and with alittle more effort a person can go deeper into this concept that was first published back in the 1960's

http://changingminds.org/explanations/power/french_and_raven.htm

http://mysite.verizon.net/ambur/French&Raven.htm

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RE: How do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/11/2007 6:28:15 PM

HardnRuff

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Ok Thanks Knight .. That is the only site I had seen that on.

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RE: how do you exert power on your sub/slave? - 7/11/2007 6:30:54 PM

jauntyone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: yuyu777

especially in a 24/7 D/s, how do you exert power to manage the relationship? any specific things you do to strengthen your power?

Greetings

Master does nothing to 'exert power' over me; our relationship works because it gives both of us a chance to be who and what we are naturally.

I wish you well

melissa

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