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Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 7:23:23 PM   
kossack


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		So I just got out of my first real kinky relationship that I met here a year ago, and I feel pretty crappy!  All in all, I don't think it was more fulfilling than the vanilla kind.  I'm not sure if I'm not a 'real' submissive, or maybe, despite many things right, we were just wrong.  I'm not masochistic.  All I like is to surrender control.  But I want someone who will be aware that I have needs and consider those as important.  Not on my time schedule but the entire "you shouldn't have needs" meme just doesn't work for me. 

Has anyone tried vanilla sites with GGG?  The "GGG" label is new to me (Good, Giving and Game, in case it is new to others)--how much kink can you get away with under the GGG label? 
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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 7:27:00 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Sorry but i haven't a clue what you are talking about

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 7:29:47 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Me eather never heard of GGG

Magik's slave

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don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 7:34:47 PM   
kossack


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		Dan Savage seems to mention it in every single column, and it pops up in TONY's sex column too--"Good Giving and Game" means good in bed, willing to do what your partner wants and game for most things.  I think it is a way of saying "sex is important to me--I want it to be good and I'm willing to go the extra mile."  But I haven't spoken with any kinky people that mention it.

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 7:39:41 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I would say that, like a lot of what we hear here, your first partner was not in synch with the style that you needed from them.  I wouldn't troll the vanilla world (for ANYTHING!) under the precept that you'll find someone kinky enough for you.  I would find someone already here that is more compatible with you.  Look around a bit more before you call it a day.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 8:23:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds like "bottom" or "hot and wanton"

Sounds like you need to stop trying to live by labels and expectations and just figure out what makes you happy and go for that.

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 8:42:06 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kossack

So I just got out of my first real kinky relationship that I met here a year ago, and I feel pretty crappy!  All in all, I don't think it was more fulfilling than the vanilla kind.  I'm not sure if I'm not a 'real' submissive, or maybe, despite many things right, we were just wrong.  I'm not masochistic.  All I like is to surrender control.  But I want someone who will be aware that I have needs and consider those as important.  Not on my time schedule but the entire "you shouldn't have needs" meme just doesn't work for me. 

Has anyone tried vanilla sites with GGG?  The "GGG" label is new to me (Good, Giving and Game, in case it is new to others)--how much kink can you get away with under the GGG label? 


1) You are allowed to have a power exchange relationship without any kinky sex if you want.
2) You are allowed to the tell "you shouldn't needs" people to hit the road. I do it all the time.
3) According to Dan Savage, you have to be reasonable. Personally, I think expecting a partner to control you when they aren't dominant is taking it too far. Riding crops can be picked up and put down. Being a dominant, accepting your submission and controlling your life isn't really something you can do every other day. At least, I don't the submissive would enjoy it because it would be confusing. And one of the things Dan Savage is very blunt about is that if they are GGG, you have to be too. Which means you have to be vanilla for them enough for them to be happy too.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kossack)
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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 9:12:08 PM   
mythi


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline 		If I'm understanding GGG correctly (kids...what'll they think of next??) it sounds to me that you'd be very hard pressed to find a good Dom operating under that bridge, rather just lots and LOTS of kinky sex trolls...which would be fine, except I doubt that's all you're looking for based on what you've said here.  Best to stick to your guns and stick it out in actual D/s circles.


Edited cuz I shouldnt rush to finish my post after Daddy thinks I'm already in bed *wg*

< Message edited by mythi -- 7/5/2007 9:15:21 PM >

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 9:26:25 PM   
Valentyne


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		*LOL* Sorry to go a little off-topic... I got a kick out of this at first because I thought it was about the GGG (German Goo Girls) series of rather wickedly perverted movies!  Stupid vanillas always trying to steal our acronyms... 

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 9:30:26 PM   
kossack


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		This is helpful--thanks. 

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/5/2007 9:30:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valentyne

*LOL* Sorry to go a little off-topic... I got a kick out of this at first because I thought it was about the GGG (German Goo Girls) series of rather wickedly perverted movies!  Stupid vanillas always trying to steal our acronyms... 


Dan Savage is hardly vanilla. He may not be BDSM or "lifestyle" d/s but... vanilla? No way. 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Valentyne)
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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/6/2007 3:04:37 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		More fricking labels,  Stop the madness.

K

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/6/2007 7:04:38 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		Sorry for being clueless, but is Dan Savage the guy who writes the column "Savage Love" ? I used to read that in the Miami New Times if so.

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/6/2007 9:01:14 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		Geez, how am I the only person who knows GGG? I read Savage Love every week, it's a great column with entertaining predicaments and good advice. I do tend to think that you'll get the "wrong" response by putting GGG in a vanilla dating profile -- ie, you'll mostly get responses from guys into some particular fetish or kink.

It sounds like you do want D/s, but with a decent respect of your own needs, which is perfectly reasonable to search for here and in vanilla places. Of course it is your responsibility to make sure your partner knows your needs -- I've known some new subs to complain their needs weren't being met simply because they expected their dom to be a mind-reader and were disappointed that they had to speak up like in any other relationship.

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/6/2007 12:30:21 PM   
suboregano


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/18/2006
Status: offline 		kossack,

I would suggest putting the labels aside, sitting down with either paper or a trusted friend--whatever works best for you--and figuring out exactly what you want in a relationship. It sounds like you've made a good start: you're not into masochism and you like giving up control. But to what degree? Would you like giving up control just in the bedroom or out of it too? Make sure you know what your limits are of what you would be willing to try before you enter a relationship, especially a BDSM or D/s one.

I am not familar with GGG, but it sounds like what sort of kink you can get away with will depend on the person more than anything else. It sounds like there is a potential in it for any amount of kink.

But whatever label your potential partners attach to themselves, just stick to your principle that you need to find someone who respects your needs. If you can find someone who does and cares about you, even if they are not as kinky as you would like them to be, or unfamiliar with GGG, they will probably be willing to try things for you.

Good luck!
Slave kylee


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That has not been rent. --Yeats, "Crazy Jane Talks with the Bishop"

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RE: Kinky v. GGG? - 7/6/2007 6:18:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Sorry for being clueless, but is Dan Savage the guy who writes the column "Savage Love" ? I used to read that in the Miami New Times if so.


Yup!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 16
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