RE: Not real (Full Version)

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DommeChains -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 9:26:29 AM)

You know I have never had any accuse me r/t or on line of not being real.

Now having written that the next 3 messages will be full of accusations of not being a real femdom lol.



Misstoyou -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 10:55:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeChains

You know I have never had any accuse me r/t or on line of not being real.



My streak came to an end yesterday. lol Sadly, the Dom who messaged me out of the blue with that conclusion didn't tell me what finally gave me away. [:D]



Politesub53 -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 11:09:14 AM)

i guess all of us will be " Not real " to somebody but does it really matter ? As long as we are real to ourselves that is all we can be. Each and everyone of us is different and whats right to one person will be wrong to another.



littlesarbonn -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 11:25:06 AM)

I was told I wasn't a real submissive because________

1. I wouldn't serve a man.
2. I wouldn't serve a couple in which a man was the master of the couple.
3. I wouldn't sign a contract with a woman who wanted me to be her cleaning service who would have no other contact with her because she used "real slaves" to actually do bdsm stuff with.
4. I wouldn't send $50 to someone who wrote me out of the blue demanding I do so.
5. I wouldn't move across the world to Australia on a moment's notice at the "possibility" of being what she was looking for.
6. I wouldn't try to convince my female submissive friends to join us in a "session".
7. I defended a female submissive from an overbearing dominant at a munch who was trying to force her (the woman who came with me) into his truck.
8. I wouldn't break friendships with former dominants who were now close friends.
9. I didn't respond to someone's one-line, insultive message to me.



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 11:29:27 AM)

I'm not real because i wouldn't give the guy a blow job in the parking lot at our FIRST meeting.



mnottertail -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 11:31:21 AM)

But you did promise on our second rendevous you would correct that deficiency.

Make it so, number one--------ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppp



Najakcharmer -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 11:40:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay
Apparently, I'm not a REAL Domme ... because I switch! ACKKKK!!! fortunately sub was already enlightened enough to see through that one and "friend" has now become ex-friend!


Well, that, and we heard you wear fuzzy bedroom slippers and eat quiche now and then.  This is incompatible with Required Real 24/7 Domme Wear, which consists strictly of 8" high heels, a leather corset and a whip.  You were also seen going about your daily business at your job, to the bank and to the library without being dressed in the Real Domme Regulation Uniform. Additionally you have turned down several bona fide Real Submissives who required you to put on said uniform and give them blowjobs in bondage. Consequently this is formal notice that the Real Domme Certification Revocation Committee (TM) will be visiting you shortly to take away your Real Domme Card.  That is all. 

- Mistress Manners





DiurnalVampire -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 11:48:41 AM)

Obviously, I am not real because Angel and I dont have sex.
I am not real because I actually care about my boys, and dont accept every offer from every visitor to serve me while they are here
I am completely fake because I dont send nude pictures to everyone who asks, since that means I am hiding something.

Ah well



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 11:52:04 AM)

Here are a few of the more amusing ones that I recall as to why the person didn't think I was a "real" Domme:
  1. A "real" Domme treats her sub or slave like an object at all times and would not be seeking a romantic as well as a BDSM relationship.  After all, the sub or slave is less than human and should be treated as such.
  2. A "real" Domme is loud, pushy, and aggressive at all times.  She certainly is not polite and considerate of others.
  3. A "real" Domme is decked out in appropriate fetish attire at all times.  She lounges around her house in leather catsuits, boots, stilleto heels, etc.  
  4. A "real" Domme agrees to go on cam immediately upon demand from a sub in his introductory e-mail.  After all, Collarme is rampant with phonies, and if you refuse this demand, you're obviously not "real."
  5. A "real" Domme must be in total cotrol of herself and others at all times.  No "real" Domme would have a weight problem because she must be able to exercise total control over herself before she can even think of controlling others.

Lady Topaz



CrimsonMoan -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:01:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

Here are a few of the more amusing ones that I recall as to why the person didn't think I was a "real" Domme:
  1. A "real" Domme treats her sub or slave like an object at all times and would not be seeking a romantic as well as a BDSM relationship.  After all, the sub or slave is less than human and should be treated as such.
  2. A "real" Domme is loud, pushy, and aggressive at all times.  She certainly is not polite and considerate of others.
  3. A "real" Domme is decked out in appropriate fetish attire at all times.  She lounges around her house in leather catsuits, boots, stilleto heels, etc.  
  4. A "real" Domme agrees to go on cam immediately upon demand from a sub in his introductory e-mail.  After all, Collarme is rampant with phonies, and if you refuse this demand, you're obviously not "real."
  5. A "real" Domme must be in total cotrol of herself and others at all times.  No "real" Domme would have a weight problem because she must be able to exercise total control over herself before she can even think of controlling others.

Lady Topaz


that has got to be the funniest shit ever. Since when does a sub have the right to DEMAND anything of a domme? doens't that change the whole dynamic of things? As for lounging around in a leather catsuit all day this si obviously an ass who has never had to wear full body leather for long periods. and throwing # 1 and 4 together is sub/slave is less than human they have no right to DEMAND anything.

I will be honest my run in have been off CM. i have yet ot have anyone say i am not real. mainly because i don't respond if they don't intrest me.



DSwriter -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:17:52 PM)

My last Domme used to say that her fellow Domina's did not consider her a "real Domme" because she wasn't a leather-wearing, fire-breathing, whip-wielding bitch on wheels. 

It seems the general public and even Domme's themselves have a stereotype in the back of their minds as to what a "real" Domme is supposed to be.

It's a shame that even my former Domme considered the notion of what it mean to be "real" - meant to "look" a certain way.  And to be cruel.  As if by having a heart, she wasn't "real.".

Which is a shame.  My notion of a real Domme is a woman with strong leadership qualities who quite naturally takes charge in a relationship.  Plain and simple.  All the rest, the leather, the whips & chains, are just optional accessories to be used or discarded at her discretion.



Politesub53 -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:19:16 PM)

Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub [:D]



Najakcharmer -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:26:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz
  1. A "real" Domme is loud, pushy, and aggressive at all times.  She certainly is not polite and considerate of others.
  2. A "real" Domme is decked out in appropriate fetish attire at all times.  She lounges around her house in leather catsuits, boots, stilleto heels, etc. 

That's right!  Us Real Dommes give those librarians and bank tellers holy whatfor with our leather bullwhips if they don't
serve Us immediately.  Lines?  We don't wait in no steenking lines!  And you don't even wanna know what We do to the mailman if our Netflix doesn't get delivered on time.  [8D]



MilkMaidDomme -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:38:29 PM)

[:D]I needed a good chuckle today..lol..Thank you!!



Najakcharmer -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:41:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DSwriter
It seems the general public and even Domme's themselves have a stereotype in the back of their minds as to what a "real" Domme is supposed to be.


Well, yes and no.  Most people grow out of the silly stereotypes after coming into contact with the real life BDSM community.  The folks who cling to them are either the ones who have not yet left the online chatrooms to live in the real world, or they have serious mental or emotional issues that make them unsuited for relationships with real human beings.   Some of those folks make the mistake of assuming that the trappings of kink, if grandiose enough, can completely replace the basic foundations of human relationships, such as trust, honesty, communication and negotiation skills.  Unfortunately that isn't a good assumption.

This is not to say that dominance and submission is only an illusion or a game.  It is not, or more accurately there is the real capacity for more than that in a functional long term D/s relationship.  But it's much harder work for both partners than the fantasies and stereotypes suggest.  Shit happens in the real world that never happens in fantasies. Experienced lifestylers understand that we are living in the real world and we need to intelligently deal with issues of trust, communication, physical and emotional safety, balancing the D/s relationship with the needs of dependent family, jobs, finances and other facts of life in the real world that don't exist in a fantasy. 

Snapping out commands and cracking a whip does not make serious relationship issues of trust, communication and honesty go away.  It is a sign of immaturity, unrealistic thinking and unpreparedness if your partner attempts to deal with real life issues in this manner. 



CrimsonMoan -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:48:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub [:D]


simple the ones who are just running over everyone with their carts or are in the pet section trying collars on the people with them.



Absolutemaster -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 12:52:09 PM)

I was told I wasn't a real Dom because I kissed a girl and put my arms around her affectionately.



Politesub53 -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 1:16:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub [:D]


simple the ones who are just running over everyone with their carts or are in the pet section trying collars on the people with them.



Hi Ma`am..... Thats great news, at last us pets have our own section. [8D]



ocilla -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 1:17:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Another Domme claimed I wasn't "real" because I use manners like "please and thank you" when speaking to my sub. I told her everyone has their own lifestyle approach and each is different. So just because your way is not my way does it mean either is wrong.

~Lashra


This is familiar to me too.  I do tend to expect gentlemanly adult behavior without having to insist and I will offer the femenine reciprocity, especially as we are getting to know one another - later my language may get a little more spicy and playful.  But I've experienced dissapointment from boys at my not yelling/shouting enough! 

I have begun to take special note now anytime someone starts in with the "real" discussions or questions as it is a sign to me that a person is embedded in a fanstasy and right now I am in an intense experiencial phase of learning and exploration.  However I do truely think that everyone has their own "reality" and it is more just a matter of matching up well with another.



CrimsonMoan -> RE: Not real (7/8/2007 1:22:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub [:D]


simple the ones who are just running over everyone with their carts or are in the pet section trying collars on the people with them.



Hi Ma`am..... Thats great news, at last us pets have our own section. [8D]


ha ha that or they are in the craft section or hardware section looking for new props. Actually have a domme friend who made a ball gag with yarn. actually pretty cute



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