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RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 8:30:05 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Some people think that because this is a kinky lifestyle and/or we're online, if gives them liscense to behave inappropriately. I'm betting if he was meeting a vanilla girl real time, he'd not ask those questions.

Master Fire

_____________________________

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(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 21

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 8:45:10 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

You never know, MasterFireMaam...ive met some pretty strange men in bars.

Even once, had this bartender at a gay leathermans bar tell me "hey, yer pretty cute for a girl, can I come home with you and see if im bi?"

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
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(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 22

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 8:53:08 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Just because you are new shouldn't mean that you have no common sense. Helpless females are easily spotted and become easy targets for trolls. My advice...toughen up and use your brain or you'll get taken advantage of over and over.

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 23

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 9:47:59 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

If you were in a line at the grocery store and started chatting with the man before you, would you feel it appropriate for him to ask these questions? If you were leaving church and he was escorting his mother, would he have talked to someone he didn't know this way? Certainly not. My IM is private because of stuff like this, but I respond to emails of this sort by asking them if their mother taught them to speak to women like this, would they think it appropriate if someone did it to their mothers/sisters/daughters. Oddly enough they never thank me for the lesson in manners but they also don't darken my mailbox again.

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 24

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 10:38:03 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

You listened to your instincts and blocked him BRAVO!
However in my opinion no true Dominant would have asked any of those questions the first time you chatted. I would find those questions objectionable even after many chats.
My suggestion would to be tell anyone that asks you a question that you find uncomfortable something like " Im not comfortable answering that at this time" if they are real they will respect it and if not use that Block button freely..

Just my opinion ..

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 25

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 11:24:42 AM

subinsouth

Posts: 55
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

winterlight ~ welcome to my world

.

i cringe at some of the questions i receive and dodge them appropriately ~ even if it means blocking. Don't doubt yourself about what seems 'rude or crude', because if it seems inappropriate to you, then it just is.

_____________________________

may it be for me as You will

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 26

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 11:40:39 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Even once, had this bartender at a gay leathermans bar tell me "hey, yer pretty cute for a girl, can I come home with you and see if im bi?"

was he good lucking...cause i would jump at a chance to convert a good looking gay man...but thats just me...heck i don't have an objection to a pick up line from a straight guy that indicates they want to sleep with me...

what i do have a problem with is the "nice tits" emails and then the subsequent emails after i inform them that is bad manners that say "well if you don't want comments don't show off your tits you cunt"...and i got those even after i changed my picture from the one including my cleavage (from a low cut tube top i might add) to a fully covered pic..

some guys have no couth and the term dom is not short for dominant, in their case but domineering...which, to me, generally means nonconsensual bullying from an asshole...

chelle
House Infernus

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 27

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 11:59:47 AM

k8trix

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

I don't think you're a bit out of line.
I'm honestly really confused how anyone actually meets people here that they can trust. Almost all of the messages I get are from men who are either handing out orders in the very first message they send, or they are kind of begging for my attention, which isn't what I'm looking for either.

_____________________________

katie~
“Without mysteries, life would be very dull indeed. What would be left to strive for if everything were known?”

Charles de Lint

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 28

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 12:05:24 PM

omega88

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear winterlight, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Welcome to the Internet. Unfortunately, serious minded individuals may be peppered by inquiries to which in blunt terms, are just looking to massage their phallus until it produces some sticky and tacky substance--to include their behavior.

You are not out of line.

Anybody can wave a title of Master, Dominant, slave and this or that--I do agree being as respectful as possible however, I wouldn't be obligated to give extremely personal information out based on a stranger's quests to get to the sex games/fantasy/relief of their testical's swelling.

In my mind's eyes I see -- perhaps submissive--but, definately not a welcome mat. Respect is earned--not a command, demand and or brow-beaten into it; e.g. you aren't submissive if you don't do this or that I order you to do...

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

I agree whole heartedly but I am still laughing over the "relief of their testical's swelling" bit.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 29

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 3:24:16 PM

soultoshare

Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

This happens a lot, either on line chatting, or even thru the e-mails you receive. While I'm not one of the ones being inundated with e-mails, occasionally, I get the demanding one liners......delete and block are your friend! I simply stop communicating with anyone who makes demands, or starts telling me how much I want their ______....you fill in the blank......

As it's been stated, sub does not mean cheap, easy, whore, slut, or any one of the many terms out there. It's the wanna-bes who come charging in like a three-legged bull in a china shop, the Doms that I have met in person have been respectful and quite nice, actually, even if nothing more than meeting for coffee happens. I have standards, and will adhere to them. If the prospective Dom can't understand or accept that, then it's a pretty good indicator that he's not going to accept anything else.

Stick to your guns, dear......and ALWAYS follow your gut instincts!

Just my .05. (Adjusted for inflation!)

_____________________________

This is where I should say something witty.....well, "SOMETHING WITTY!"

**********************************************

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.

(in reply to omega88)

Post #: 30

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 3:24:18 PM

PeggyO

Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

My general response to men who want to know my measurements is to tell them I wear a size 6. If they want to know my bra size right off I counter by asking them if they think I should be asking how large their penis is right around now. Many men who initially don't see why a woman would be offended being asked about their bra size or about their intimate grooming habits usually find it very disconcerting to be asked what their penis size is, if they're cut or uncut and if they shave their balls or not.

At that point they generally get the message. Some of them get polite and apologize. The other ones just go away - which is fine too.

Take care,

Peggy

(in reply to omega88)

Post #: 31

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 3:31:38 PM

Absolutemaster

Posts: 79
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO

Hello,

My general response to men who want to know my measurements is to tell them I wear a size 6. If they want to know my bra size right off I counter by asking them if they think I should be asking how large their penis is right around now. Many men who initially don't see why a woman would be offended being asked about their bra size or about their intimate grooming habits usually find it very disconcerting to be asked what their penis size is, if they're cut or uncut and if they shave their balls or not.

At that point they generally get the message. Some of them get polite and apologize. The other ones just go away - which is fine too.

Take care,

Peggy

I think all of these questions are perfectly valid and acceptable.

Hey ho. Takes all sorts...

(in reply to PeggyO)

Post #: 32

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 3:33:35 PM

LSUDomme

Posts: 32
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline

No. A person should have respect for you in the fact that they do not know you that well. You save that for a "closer" relationship.

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 33

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 4:26:13 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Response suggestions:

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

a "dom" messaged me in here and i added him to my im. well after one convo with ? such as what is your breast size,

"Breasts?"

quote:

when did u last have sex,

"I gimme a second. I'm almost done"

quote:

etc. i feel uncomfortable with him. i got accused based on last nights convo of having an attitude so i blocked and deleted the jerk. I don't feel the above ? are appropriate for a first time convo. Am I out of line here?

You did exactly as you should have done.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 34

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 4:40:49 PM

m0rgan

Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

well yeah, but.....if one wants a good cock sucker, and no conversation, it's best to find that out straightaway, surely?
i reckon if one is looking for a girl that likes sperm, not much point in asking them if they will take tea with you, or asking for a space on their dance card!
us men find it difficult to live up to womens high expectations of us;>)

_____________________________

download this, the girls voice will make you damp--->

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a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 35

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 5:03:40 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

When I am approached in this manner, I generally explain as to how I will have much bigger breasts when the transgender hormones finally take effect. Really, I'd love to marry a good man who would pay for my bottom surgery so I could be all woman for him, and he could help me straighten out my six wayward kids who are currently on welfare and having problems with the law. I let him know that I am quite eager to chat, since gay marriage is now legal in some countries and I have been waiting impatiently for a man who can cherish me for the woman I truly am inside. Depending on the chat medium I'm being bothered in, I may send him one of several exceptionally unlovely photos of "myself" that I keep around for just such purposes. Homophobia makes an excellent asshole filter.

If necessary I can also go into great detail about my favorite fetishes, ranging from hairy armpits to scat and motor oil, extreme fisting and anal stretching, the insertion of ridiculously large objects into the urethra, etc. It's rarely necessary. As you can imagine, I generally get the desired results in extremely short order, which is to say that he never, ever wants to talk to me again. And if I'm really lucky, he also tells all his wanker friends what I "really" look like and they don't bother me either.

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 7/10/2007 5:04:25 PM >

(in reply to m0rgan)

Post #: 36

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 5:08:46 PM

sub4mistressinnj

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

a "dom" messaged me in here and i added him to my im. well after one convo with ? such as what is your breast size, when did u last have sex, etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

a "dom" messaged me in here and i added him to my im. well after one convo with ? such as what is your breast size, when did u last have sex, etc. i feel uncomfortable with him. i got accused based on last nights convo of having an attitude so i blocked and deleted the jerk. I don't feel the above ? are appropriate for a first time convo. Am I out of line here?

Questions like that raise a lot of red flags. At best, he's an internet wanker, people like that are not worth your time.

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 37

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 5:18:17 PM

saturnpie

Posts: 10
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline

You won't believe how many times I add someone to im and after they ask how I'm doing they're asking for nude photos. Kind of kills the excitingment of having an online domme, you know? I'd do what they say, but don't expect me to give you nude photos when we first talk. That's just too fast, Especially for us newbies

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 38

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 5:24:11 PM

Lewcifer

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight
a "dom" messaged me in here and i added him to my im. well after one convo with ? such as what is your breast size, when did u last have sex, etc. i feel uncomfortable with him. i got accused based on last nights convo of having an attitude so i blocked and deleted the jerk. I don't feel the above ? are appropriate for a first time convo. Am I out of line here?

Why are you so worried or concerned with what others think?

Did He make you feel uncomforable? If so, you made the right choice.

It doesn't matter what I, or anyone else, thinks of your choice.

_____________________________

I am fortunate... My wife is also My friend, lover and slave.

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 39

RE: newbie what disturbs me is a "dom - 7/10/2007 5:42:26 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: saturnpie

You won't believe how many times I add someone to im and after they ask how I'm doing they're asking for nude photos. Kind of kills the excitingment of having an online domme, you know? I'd do what they say, but don't expect me to give you nude photos when we first talk. That's just too fast, Especially for us newbies

I would like some nude pics of you....Send them some time next week....We cool?

_____________________________

(in reply to saturnpie)

Post #: 40

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