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Am I sexually greedy? - 6/20/2005 8:07:45 PM

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I admit I am new to the scene but am here after a lot of thinking. I say I am a switch but this is because I sincerely enjoy and lust after both roles. I can be fulfilled as a top or bottom and don't want to commit myself to one forsaking the other. Does this make me confused or just greedy?? I'd appreciate any thoughts!

Big Eyes X

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/20/2005 8:42:05 PM

Sirus

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I don't think your greedy at all :)

(in reply to BigEyes)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/21/2005 3:19:21 AM

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From: Austin, Texas
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It makes you neither confused nor greedy.

It sounds to me that you know exactly what you like. You are sexually gratified by being on both sides of the whip. Congratulations, you aren't confused!

I don't quite understand what would make you greedy about being a switch though...

(in reply to BigEyes)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/21/2005 6:07:17 AM

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I don't think you are greedy at all at all. As one who switches from time to time, I enjoy both roles with each providing me with a different type of gratification. I find as a top, the mental challenges are fulfulling while as a bottom, I can just sit back and enjoy the ride. One seems to complement and enhance the other. Enjoy and don't second guess yourself...

(in reply to BigEyes)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/21/2005 12:03:46 PM

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From: SeaTac area
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I think that some people view switches the same way the gay community used to view bisexuals - greedy people who wanted their kicks however they could get it. But there's nothing wrong with knowing what you like.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to MisterReb)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/26/2005 3:09:09 PM

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Are you greedy? That depends. Do you enjoy both sides for greedy reasons? If you just want self-gradification on different levels then, yes. I am sorry to say but by my definition that is greedy. Of course my idea of BDSM involves emotional communication more than sexual gradification. So that would be why "wanting it both ways" seems greedy to me. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I think you could find a higher calling so to speak within BDSM. Rather than worry about which roles/positions/acts please you, try thinking about which roles/positions/acts express you the most. Just a suggestion. I think you might find that even though you enjoy both rules, only one of them truly expresses you beyond mere desire.

I went into more depth of explaining why I think people become switches in another post. Feel free to search for "noumenon" as an author and you should be able to find it without much trouble. Best wishes.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/27/2005 6:31:38 PM

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Does it make you greedy? No.
What it makes you is a Switch.
You may enjoy it now, but the schizophrenic mindset you are playing with will eventually wear your ass out.
Top/bottom......bottom/Top.....I'm so fucking confused? Most Swithches are

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to noumenon)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/27/2005 7:40:45 PM

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quote:

Most Swithches are

I don't think that's a very accurate statement. I think that is someone is comforable with being a switch, they will not be confused. It's all about self-acceptance.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to fastlane)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/28/2005 1:28:48 PM

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No more than being bisexual makes one greedy. As long as your partners get their satisfaction then why the worry?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/28/2005 6:06:46 PM

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Wow. Imagine that - I'm a Domme, but a bisexual and S&M switch. I must be one greedy woman!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MrSnake)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/30/2005 8:02:09 AM

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I think you've misinterpreted my point.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 6/30/2005 3:50:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSnake

I think you've misinterpreted my point.

No. I understood your point. I was beeing cheeky ;) I get like that now and then.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MrSnake)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/15/2005 9:31:08 AM

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I am in a similar state, new to the lifestyle and struggling to be accepted as a Switch.

My case is that I'm new, but depending who I'm with, I'm either a Sadist, or an objectified toy. It's hard to find a place where both of those can be expressed at once, and if anyone has an idea, I'd love to hear it.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/15/2005 4:47:32 PM

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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: North Florida
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My first responce would be to say no. Like all things in life the true sign of greed is disreguarding the needs of others. So if your partner sexualy fullfilled by being with you I would say you are not being greedy. And I can say this as a stright male switch whos ex, who I still care for very much, is a bi female switch. So there is my two cents(or pents seeing as you are in the UK).

Take care

PS nice to see another theatre designer around here.

(in reply to BigEyes)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/16/2005 1:08:05 PM

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Bigeyes,

Don't sweat it. As a bisexual switch, I've heard all that stuff before. I like to joke that I'm only like this because it makes it easier to find a date.

A little more seriously, though...

People switch for lots of reasons. The Yin/Yang concept has been so overused as to become sadly cliche, but the truth is that we all have that aspect of our psyche. I believe that a switch is more truly in tune with that than any other "role" in the scene. Not that it makes us "better" or more "evolved" than any other role... it certainly doesn't... but only that we are living on a different level... in a different world of experience.

Why switch?

For some people it's curiousity. They're just searching for identity. They may eventually find a call to one side or another... or they may find that playing both sides is just what they need and settle right in.

For some people it's the conflicting need to have the control of a top but also to be the center of attention as a bottom. Their id and ego are looking for equal time.

For some people it's a need for different sensation. As a bottom, you receive intense physical, psychological, and mental sensation. As a top, it's the sensation of energy... your own and your bottom's as you transfer control back and forth and drive their experience. Some of us thrive on variety.

I don't believe that an insatiable appetite for experience, sensation, or emotional exploration equates to greed. It only means that your journey is, itself, the destination. Tops have a set route to get where they want to go. Bottoms likewise. But as switches, true switches, we step outside the door and never know where the road may sweep us.

I'm very comfortable with who and what I am, and I hope that you can come to be so as well. All the answers you'll ever need are found inside yourself. True enlightenment is not in knowing all those answers, but in knowing where to look for them. True courage is found in the willingness to look there.

Good luck on your journey.

_____________________________

Master, Friend, and Lover of ItzKat

(in reply to tallandhard)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/24/2005 3:04:34 AM

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Thank you everyone who has taken the time to reply. Un/fortunately you all seem very positive which is in direct contrast to some of the messages I've been sent. For some reason (perhaps because I'm young) strangers feel free to insult and intimidate me because I have dared to put 'switch' - for now at least. None of them have taken the time to ask why I put that etc. I am always polite in return (makes me feel the better person) but I am starting to get really angry! They want me to pidgeon-hole myself, and then attack me when I do??

Any thoughts would be GREATLY appreciated!

Big Eyes

(in reply to itzelwing)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/24/2005 11:56:40 AM

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Anyone who feels qualified to attack you based on a few sentences isn't worth the computer memory it takes for them to send you the message.

It's fishing for reactions. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is just as repulsive as fishing for compliments. I wouldn't pay much attention.

Buuuuuut that's just me

(in reply to BigEyes)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/24/2005 8:26:36 PM

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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: North Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BigEyes
For some reason (perhaps because I'm young) strangers feel free to insult and intimidate me because I have dared to put 'switch' - for now at least. None of them have taken the time to ask why I put that etc. I am always polite in return (makes me feel the better person) but I am starting to get really angry! They want me to pidgeon-hole myself, and then attack me when I do??

First of all you are right, at least I think you are, that you are being the better person. Being closed minded is against the whole point of coming to a forum like this and baicaly declaring to anyone who will take a few min. to read a bit about you that this is who you are, you are just fine with it, and you hope to find others like yourself. Try not to let them get to you. People like that are just emotional vampires, just let them starve.

We all have our frustrations here. Mine is that I am a very giving person and many doubt my dom side. Life goes on. Ask yourself if this person is worth your time. If they would not be woth the time to get to know them then they are not worth the time to get angry about. Buy hay that is just my oppion, and I tend to be a bit of a Taoist.

When it comes down to it our sexuality is so much an undeniable part of how we are that you can not hide from it with out hiding from yourself. I do not know about you but I think I am too fun of a person to hide from myself and my time is to valuable for that.

Hang in there. Do not give up hope. Be the best you you can be. And if all else failes FXXK them if they cant take a joke. Ok dont FXXK them, just let them wallow in their shallow kiddy pool and go have fun in the ocean of possabilities.

Take Care and hang in there,

Shamus

(in reply to BigEyes)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/25/2005 8:12:12 AM

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Good reply, Shamus.

BigEyes... don't waste time on folks who want to draw their little boxes around everything. It doesn't matter how big the box is, it still excludes a world of possibility.

YOU know who you are, and what you want. Anyone else who tries to define that for you is pissing in the wind (which some folks may enjoy, but it's meant as a negative thing in this context).

There are plenty of real, open-minded players in this community. Don't lose sleep over a handful of losers.

_____________________________

Master, Friend, and Lover of ItzKat

(in reply to BigEyes)

RE: Am I sexually greedy? - 7/25/2005 2:37:03 PM

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Joined: 6/13/2005
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I feel like I am being ignorant though, because

1. They are usually much older
2. They have been in the scene much longer

Makes me feel like a stupid little upstart. Which I know I'm not. I can't help doubting myself though - a feeling I don't like when it comes to my sexuality and personality!

Big Eyes

(in reply to itzelwing)

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