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Is there an identifier? - 7/16/2007 1:13:26 AM

lilfemme23

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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A collar to show submissive, what about a switch who is already collared? Is there an identifier to show you are looking for a sub of your own?

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/16/2007 7:55:23 AM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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There's a tradition that's from the gay/lesbian community called "flagging". Most of the time, it's done with hankies where the particular color denotes your kink. However, keys are usually used to signify role. Keys worn hanging out denote you're looking, key's visible in the pocket mean you're taken (even if just for the night). Left pocket is Top, right pocket is bottom, center rear belt loop is switch.

However, in most het groups, the flagging will go unnoticed or they'll notice that you'e weirdly hanging your keys from a odd place, but not know what it means.

If you're going to wear your collar, you'll probably just have to be the initiator and talk to submissive who draw you. Otherwise, they'll see the collar and assume you're bottom /s-type only.

Or, you could simply get a black t-shirt made that says, "Switch. Ask me."

Master Fire

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/17/2007 2:29:19 PM

lilfemme23

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*Big Grin* I like the shirt idea! do you know how to find munches in the area? Are there any other ideas to find people with common interest in rl with out wearing the same shirt all the time? *grin* or I could make a whole bunch of shirts in a varitey of colors *thinking* uhhmmm my ma probably wouldn't like that too much and it'd be a little pricy. so where on earth did you aquire so much knowledge? I have thought about buying books on the topic but there seems to be little useful knowledge regarding the social aspects.

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/17/2007 5:01:13 PM

pandoravampire

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yes, the switch is the fulfilled one with the big cheesy grin! lol

I like the T shirt idea. The hankie/key code, its different in different countries so that i now just ignore it and ask.

on another note. For me, i havent switched with the same person. So im either feeling sub or dom toward someone. And generally that gets communicated very nicely with words. No keys or hankies required. Asking people questions, is a excellent way to strike up a conversation and be sociable i find.

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/17/2007 6:47:10 PM

MasterFireMaam

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1) do you know how to find munches in the area?
Go to google and search using "BDSM group and the name of the nearest decent sized city"

2) Are there any other ideas to find people with common interest in rl with out wearing the same shirt all the time?
Find a group of likeminded people in real time, then just start talking to people. Don't stay behind your computer.

3) so where on earth did you aquire so much knowledge?
I got out from behind the computer and participate on a local as well as a national level (did you know we have national events?)

4) I have thought about buying books on the topic but there seems to be little useful knowledge regarding the social aspects.
No, there's really nothing that can replace face to face meetings. You can check out the books linked in my signature, but they're not going to replace going out.

Master Fire

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BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/17/2007 7:22:06 PM

PairOfDimes

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You'll probably have to be relatively aggressive and vocal about dropping hints, just like poly people in general have to make it known that having a partner doesn't equal being monogamous. People won't likely approach you in hopes of getting dominated, but there's nothing wrong with chatting people up! Also, once you develop a reputation in your local groups for being a versatile player, a person who is in a relationship as a submissive but who is also a competent dominant, you'll be much better placed to attract submissives.

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/17/2007 7:25:02 PM

Phin

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first sorry for the thread hijack

quote:

ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

just like poly people in general have to make it known that having a partner doesn't equal being monogamous.

try being a man explaining that without your signifigant other(s) there... always seems to come across as a lie in a vanilla setting...

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/20/2007 4:26:03 PM

lilfemme23

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Thanks for the info!

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/21/2007 9:47:25 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilfemme23

*Big Grin* I like the shirt idea! do you know how to find munches in the area? Are there any other ideas to find people with common interest in rl with out wearing the same shirt all the time? *grin* or I could make a whole bunch of shirts in a varitey of colors *thinking* uhhmmm my ma probably wouldn't like that too much and it'd be a little pricy. so where on earth did you aquire so much knowledge? I have thought about buying books on the topic but there seems to be little useful knowledge regarding the social aspects.

The BEST way to find a munch.. is to START one. :)

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/21/2007 9:52:15 AM

julietsierra

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lilfemme:
e-mail me privately. There's a munch near you.

juliet

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RE: Is there an identifier? - 7/21/2007 4:43:50 PM

LightHeartedMaam

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I'm really confused (and shocked) that switches would feel the need to LABEL (gasp!) themselves. I mean, wouldn't that cut into your options? Just say you are a switch and work out the details later. (shrug)

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