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wwwkevinww -> romantic love lasts 18 months (7/16/2007 2:11:20 PM)
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some people cannot let a dead dog lie. I'm now getting emails about the stuff I wrote regarding love in authority dynamics and romantic love only lasting 18 months.
so I actually typed in "romantic love 18 months", to pull up info on it....
this is a section from a news article quoted from the web from number 13,
http://www.drirene.com/lovevs.htm
"That word - addictive - may be exactly the right word to describe the effect of romantic love, Kort says. The emotional high it gives us is caused by something called phenylethylamine - PEA, for short.
"It's like a drug," says Kort. "People who are unhappy no longer feel that way. Or people who are depressed. That's why we love it. And that's why we don't want to let it go."
Novelty induces the body to create PEA, says Kort. And at best, a real-life love can only be very novel for six to 18 months. After that, we've got to learn to appreciate the maturing of a relationship.
If it's a PEA rush we're after, we have few options.
We can have flirtations or affairs. Or we can bring on a burst of PEA by reading one of those larger-than-life love stories or watching one in a movie. The latter is a far safer course of action.
Of course, there's a downside to all of this.
By having a steady diet of romantic love, we start to think of it as a normal state of affairs. Unless we have the outsized, chest-pounding love of a Romeo and Juliet, we think we must be doing something wrong., Our expectations are out of kilter."
This is a section of the news article, let me make sure I pull out the 6 to 18 monthes so its easier to read from that section, this is the sentence:
"Novelty induces the body to create PEA, says Kort. And at best, a real-life love can only be very novel for six to 18 months. After that, we've got to learn to appreciate the maturing of a relationship."
This isn't exactly the news article I was quoting on my bedroom wall, but it has the statistic at least. Let me find another article....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOVE
Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side-effects such as an increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[7]
In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these levels return to as they were after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels, i.e. NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4, of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in a control group who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[8]
another article: http://net-burst.net/singles/science.htm
The Chemical Cocktail of Love
Professor Cindy Hazan of Cornell University, New York, believes that falling “in love” involves the release of three chemicals in the brain: dopamine, phenylethylamine, and oxytocin. Even if the concentration of these chemicals were to remain at their peak for the rest of one’s life, the body would develop a tolerance to it, and so the effect would diminish. In reality, research indicates that levels decline over 18 to 30 months and rarely return in a relationship.
“By that time,” she says, “couples have either parted or decided they are easy enough with each other to stay together. Love becomes a habit . . .” Professor Hazan’s conclusions are based on 5000 interviews across 37 cultures and medical tests on couples.
Source: The Australian, 27:7:99, page 1, based on an article by John Harlow (London, The Sunday Times).
here is another article:
http://net-burst.net/singles/lover.htm
I think people are being wishful thinking to actually believe it lasts longer than 18 months. If you don't like the facts, and think your BDSM play and being in romantic love is the same as when it started after this time period, your mistaken....
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