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Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 10:11:48 AM   
Alienmindsinc


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/19/2005
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
Hello all,

I normally don't do online D/s relationships, but recently I met a man that seemed to be serious, and we started online training working toward a real life situation.

Also recently, yahoo deleted his profiles/emails, etc. He called me and asked me to give him a gmail account, so I did. Now he is completely missing, no communications or anything in the last week or so. My question is how long I should put up with him missing training sessions and not emailing/calling me back before I shelf him and move on. Previously, he's been prompt and responsive for the 2 months I've been "training" him online, but since yahoo killed his accounts, I can't get ahold of him.

Thanks in advance, for the advice,

-Ser Matthew
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 10:29:25 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alienmindsinc

Also recently, yahoo deleted his profiles/emails, etc. He called me and asked me to give him a gmail account, so I did. Now he is completely missing, no communications or anything in the last week or so. My question is how long I should put up with him missing training sessions and not emailing/calling me back before I shelf him and move on. Previously, he's been prompt and responsive for the 2 months I've been "training" him online, but since yahoo killed his accounts, I can't get ahold of him.


If this is out of the ordinary for him then give it some more time. Life has the unexpected random factor that can throw our lives into chaos and we don't have time for anything else least of all the Internet. Perhaps a family crisis has taken place and quite frankly takes priority over what he is doing with you. If he has a way to get in touch with you, be patient, but if it goes well over two weeks without any contact, I would begin to suspect that something isn't quite right.

I have had a few online relationships where the woman disappeared off the radar. It raises all sorts of questions and is perhaps indicative of some underlying problem i.e. the one woman had a severe drinking problem that I wasn't aware of.

If they get back in contact soon, don't be afraid to ask what happened. For me, and I do not expect you to do the same, this would be one red flag that I would just watch and see what happens.

I hope that helps.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Alienmindsinc)
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RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 10:35:41 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
So interesting this thread has popped up, it has saved me the trouble of starting one myself! LOL

I just have one question, with an example to back it up, so to speak.

Example: When I logged on a profile came up with someone announcing they now had "ownership papers" of a particular slave. I then went and looked at said slave's profile. Hers basically said the same thing. They live in different countries across a friggin' ocean!

My question is essentially What's the point???? Being one who does not understand what fulfillment folks can get out of an online only relationship I'd like to hear people's viewpoints.

Long distance relationships are hard enough, but a long distance online only relationship? <sigh> Please tell me what I'm missing.

cello

(in reply to Alienmindsinc)
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RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 10:39:11 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Well the warm and fuzzy answer is to talk it out, decide if you're fulfilled, seek other options and think long term.

The realistic answer is that this guy probably has a handful of people he is "training" online, and/or a wife who found out about it and was nothing more than a player who said what you wanted to hear.

Get offline, find munches and local groups and real people. It's not much better, still plenty of gossip and drama, but at least you can throttle them in real life :)

(in reply to Alienmindsinc)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 10:44:38 AM   
Alienmindsinc


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/19/2005
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
It does help a bit.

I had thought that he might have some situation, there has been one similar situation, but it wasn't this long. Something that is a week long worries me. You shouldn't get the idea that I'm mad at him, this is uncharacteristic of him; even with the last situation, he emailed me the third day. I don't know, I guess I worry too much when I shouldn't.




_____________________________

--
-Ser Matthew

"Those that would give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

-Benjamin Franklin, An Historical Review of Pennsylvanya, 1759


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 11:13:48 AM   
Domin81


Posts: 66
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline
For me online/cyber relationships are kind of the same as having a bath while still wearing your socks and underwear... You should consider getting out in the community and meeting people real time.

But in regard to your question, it is hard to know what happened to him..maybe you never will. I don't pursue people that don't maintain their part of any kind of relationship...I let them know where I stand and then it is up to them to do their part. If he crops up again, evaluate the reasons/excuses and decide whether a second chance is merited.


_____________________________

El Gordo
http://www.bound2please.com
Quality Toys & Restraints Made in Canada

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 11:15:40 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK

My question is essentially What's the point???? Being one who does not understand what fulfillment folks can get out of an online only relationship I'd like to hear people's viewpoints.

Long distance relationships are hard enough, but a long distance online only relationship? <sigh> Please tell me what I'm missing.

cello


Well, I have had one serious long distance relationship over the Internet. At first it was online only and we both knew that it might never get to be more than that due to obligations we had where we lived. It was frustrating to the point where I began to curse the miles between us. We fell in love, I couldn't help it, it happened. Our relationship was unlike any other I have ever had. This went on for about two years. The day came where she surprised me and said that she was going to hop on a plane and fly out to see me. I was an ecstatic, nervous, jittery, bumbling fool until the time that I laid my eyes on her for the first time in real life. She stayed for a little over a week. I was so happy, she was everything I had hoped for. She went home and at the airport the one security guy pulled us aside and said with tears in his eyes that our good-bye to each other was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. One month later I lost contact with her. I tried calling and writing emails to no avail. Sadly one night my phone rang and it was a lady that I didn't know but she said that she was a friend of this woman and that she regretted to inform me that a few weeks earlier my love had a seizure in her sleep and died.

Well, a sad story but you asked what the purpose of a long distance relationship was. Sometimes they start out being only online relationships, but can bloom into much, much more. I hope and pray that no one ever has to experience the pain I went through, but I do hope that others may find the same joy and love that I did. It can happen.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 11:33:25 AM   
shyguyuk


Posts: 25
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline
hi, ive had two online realthionships which i thought were serious sadly both doms vanished once things started to move towards meeting in person sadly i think online realthionships are just that online and nothing more its all to easy to be something else online and very easy to get out of it when your tierd...hopefully im wrong and i hope they get back in touch with you

best wish's, michelle x

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 11:45:20 AM   
sensualkitty


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


Well, I have had one serious long distance relationship over the Internet. At first it was online only and we both knew that it might never get to be more than that due to obligations we had where we lived. It was frustrating to the point where I began to curse the miles between us. We fell in love, I couldn't help it, it happened. Our relationship was unlike any other I have ever had. This went on for about two years. The day came where she surprised me and said that she was going to hop on a plane and fly out to see me. I was an ecstatic, nervous, jittery, bumbling fool until the time that I laid my eyes on her for the first time in real life. She stayed for a little over a week. I was so happy, she was everything I had hoped for. She went home and at the airport the one security guy pulled us aside and said with tears in his eyes that our good-bye to each other was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. One month later I lost contact with her. I tried calling and writing emails to no avail. Sadly one night my phone rang and it was a lady that I didn't know but she said that she was a friend of this woman and that she regretted to inform me that a few weeks earlier my love had a seizure in her sleep and died.

Well, a sad story but you asked what the purpose of a long distance relationship was. Sometimes they start out being only online relationships, but can bloom into much, much more. I hope and pray that no one ever has to experience the pain I went through, but I do hope that others may find the same joy and love that I did. It can happen.


A sweet but sad story Gauge, I'm sorry for your loss. I guess my question had more to do with people who say they have a slave or who say they are slaves to people they most likely will NOT meet, or who have no intentions of meeting, just keeping it strictly online.

< Message edited by sensualkitty -- 6/29/2005 4:52:37 AM >

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 11:49:28 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
I agree.....





< Message edited by cellogrrlMK -- 6/29/2005 4:39:27 AM >

(in reply to sensualkitty)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 12:00:54 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

A sweet but sad story Gauge, I'm sorry for your loss. I guess my question had more to do with people who say they have a slave or who say they are slaves to people they most likely will NOT meet, or who have no intentions of meeting, just keeping it strictly online.


Thank you for your sentiment.

When you put it that way, I guess it could come down to someone wanting to explore that side of themselves without the commitment that real life would bring. Perhaps it is a training thing where they want to be taught to be a better Dom or slave/sub. Whatever the reasons Dominating or submitting to someone over the Internet is kind of like masturbation, it might feel great but there is no substitute for the real thing.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sensualkitty)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 12:11:30 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
<giggling> I have done that when Master has been logged in a couple of times. He logs out of his account on the other side, and doesn't even post to the boards (very rarely at least), but for some reason, it leaves him logged in on this side.



f

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 12:15:47 PM   
Alienmindsinc


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/19/2005
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
The thing is, Billie is only 10 miles away from me. I have all of the information I need to drive over to see him, but in respect to his wishes, I won't. He didn't want to move to real life domination yet. I've been given confirmation of everything, including his chastity belt (I was supposed to get the keys in the mail this week.). We've yet to meet, though.

_____________________________

--
-Ser Matthew

"Those that would give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

-Benjamin Franklin, An Historical Review of Pennsylvanya, 1759


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 2:47:16 PM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate

<giggling> I have done that when Master has been logged in a couple of times. He logs out of his account on the other side, and doesn't even post to the boards (very rarely at least), but for some reason, it leaves him logged in on this side.




(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 2:48:56 PM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Thank you for your sentiment.

When you put it that way, I guess it could come down to someone wanting to explore that side of themselves without the commitment that real life would bring. Perhaps it is a training thing where they want to be taught to be a better Dom or slave/sub. Whatever the reasons Dominating or submitting to someone over the Internet is kind of like masturbation, it might feel great but there is no substitute for the real thing.


Well, when you put it THAT way I suppose it makes sense! I never thought of it that way. I see all these cyberDoms collaring cyberslaves right and left and it made me wonder.

Thank you for such a well put answer!

cello

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 2:54:56 PM   
firstsub


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: middletown, CT
Status: offline
a weekis enough time

(in reply to Alienmindsinc)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 4:32:57 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

My question is essentially What's the point???? Being one who does not understand what fulfillment folks can get out of an online only relationship I'd like to hear people's viewpoints.


This has been discussed extensively, these threads might help:

online relationships

serving online

to all with an online submissive

online D/s



_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 7:02:30 PM   
SecretDomme


Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline
I am wondering how he can live only 10 minutes away from you and not even want to meet for coffee, yet you have been training him online for two months. Seems a bit odd to me, but sometimes making that transition to "real life" is a difficult one. I wouldn't wait too much longer.

I wish you luck,
Julie


< Message edited by SecretDomme -- 6/22/2005 7:03:31 PM >

(in reply to Alienmindsinc)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 7:03:52 PM   
Overlord218


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/26/2005
Status: offline
I've had an online relationship for the past 5 or 6 years now on and off, with a sub living in Dublin, Ireland. Given I live in Australia, it can't be much longer a distance. lol Through those years, she and I have had a very fulfilling relationship in which we've both learned a lot from each other.

Next week, she arrives here for a month's visit, and I am SO looking forward to spending realtime with her. Having said that though, we both know that there'll never be any possibility of realtime, due to the obvious circumstances.

I guess what I'm trying to say is a LDR can be fulfilling and enjoyable. It depends what you want out of it.

< Message edited by Overlord218 -- 6/22/2005 7:16:14 PM >


_____________________________

Overlord 218

A little pain is good for the soul. Ask any masochist.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Online Slaves - 6/22/2005 8:17:53 PM   
teirtu


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/11/2004
Status: offline
I agree with EmeraldSlave. There are FAR too many married men playing games in this bdsm world thinking submissive women are easy, and even when when they aren't married, are just playing games. Yes, go to munches, MEET REAL PEOPLE... and use online as a way to communicate with those who WILL meet you. Don't waste your time online. Unless you want to.

teirtu
~who is now vanilla

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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