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RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/21/2008 12:18:27 PM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mystique567
BTW he calls it his portable throne.

I love that!

I find my ponies, being generally 'service orientated submissives' are delighted to be a pony for a driver who would otherwise use a wheelchair.

I don't quite understand why, but the feedback I get from them is that they feel that such service is even more special, because it's needed.

I may have a male Dom wheelchair user as second in command of my ponies at the Human-pony event I'm organising in June, if he accepts my invitation.

(in reply to Mystique567)

Post #: 41

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 8:07:53 PM

angelbluewingsz

Posts: 324
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

let me ask you this... is it acceptable to have a blond as a dom? for me it's the same thing. A matter of taste. If you want something, go for it.

(in reply to sirguym)

Post #: 42

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 8:42:24 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Acceptable? w t f

Dominant is Dominant- doesn't matter if walking on two legs, sitting in a wheelchair, 12 toes, missing arm.

I want to know why it's more acceptable for a FemaleDom to be in a wheelchair/handcapped in some way.
But if it is a MaleDom, oh hell no he can't possibly be a Dominant.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to Raiden)

Post #: 43

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 8:51:31 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
I want to know why it's more acceptable for a FemaleDom to be in a wheelchair/handcapped in some way.
But if it is a MaleDom, oh hell no he can't possibly be a Dominant.

Because to be physically handicapped means that he can't manhandle a sub into submission. Never mind that the best dominance is with the mind and personality - the physical stuff is just icing on the cake.But that is expected of a Dom more than in a Domme. Go figure.

Hang in there, OP - somewhere out there is a sub who wants intelligent conversation, domination by pure power of will, and has the desire to do for you what you need to have done. Just be sure that that power is there for her to see. (Or him - whichever you prefer.)

pip

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 44

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:23:28 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Because to be physically handicapped means that he can't manhandle a sub into submission

See now that is what bugs me. If a sub is sub, she shouldnt need to be manhandled INTO submission.
Now some rough stuff now n again is always exciting to me- and that can still be accomplished in or out of wheelchair.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to Poetryinpain)

Post #: 45

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:36:21 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Before anybody gets their knickers in a twist, the OP hasn't been online here in over 4 months.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 46

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:36:58 PM

sabirah

Posts: 97
Status: offline

I mean no disrespect. I am only trying to share my perspective. I will shy away from meeting a dominant, if I know there may be a handicap. a submissive is not submissive to all, therefor our personal desires and wants tend to weigh in. I am a very tall submissive, there are times when I desperately crave to feel small and feel the power of his presence hovering over me. Those times when he stands before me and all I can do is fall to my knees. That feeling is sheerly because I know he is stronger, more powerful then myself. :: swoons ::

quote:

ORIGINAL: Poetryinpain

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
I want to know why it's more acceptable for a FemaleDom to be in a wheelchair/handcapped in some way.
But if it is a MaleDom, oh hell no he can't possibly be a Dominant.

Because to be physically handicapped means that he can't manhandle a sub into submission. Never mind that the best dominance is with the mind and personality - the physical stuff is just icing on the cake.But that is expected of a Dom more than in a Domme. Go figure.

Hang in there, OP - somewhere out there is a sub who wants intelligent conversation, domination by pure power of will, and has the desire to do for you what you need to have done. Just be sure that that power is there for her to see. (Or him - whichever you prefer.)

pip

_____________________________

sincerely,
sabirah

The room is silent, absolutely silent, except for the decisive click of the collar lock.
It is a sound the girl will never forget.

(in reply to Poetryinpain)

Post #: 47

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:45:41 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

4days 4weeks 4months, what has that got to do with dom in wheelchair being "acceptable"

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 48

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:46:52 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

The OP was the dom in question... the dom in the wheelchair.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 49

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:53:44 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

a submissive is not submissive to all

Keep in mind I did not say a sub was

I said if a sub is sub then she shouldnt NEED to be manhandled INTO it.
I meant within her relationship
Not with any tom dick or mary

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to sabirah)

Post #: 50

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:53:51 PM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

4days 4weeks 4months, what has that got to do with dom in wheelchair being "acceptable"

I believe what Cali meant was, this is a dead thread revived. The person in question may or may not even remember posting this thread, much less be watching it at the moment...

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 51

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 9:57:38 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raiden

how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?

Socially, in the BDSM scene, nobody minds and everybody will be glad to help accommodate you.

On a personal relationship basis, that totally varies with the individual and isn't any different than if you're talking about a potential vanilla relationship. Some people are fine with a handicapped partner, others are not.

My subbie's handicap (mild cerebal palsy) was really not a factor one way or another in developing our relationship. It's annoying at times that I have to do all the lifting and carrying, but only mildly as I make a point of staying fit and I can't complain too much about extra exercise opportunities. Carrying all the heavy stuff is certainly not a make or break issue for me. Now if he had been more severely handicapped to the point that he couldn't drive with hand controls, or do any work, or needed full time care and was not basically a functional, independent, self supporting adult, those probably would have been deal breakers right up front.

Maybe I'm a shallow person, but I don't think I could start dating or playing with someone if I had to lift them onto the potty and wipe their ass for them, or otherwise be their primary caregiver. That would definitely be a hard limit. I also wouldn't be likely to pursue a serious relationship with someone who could not drive or who did not maintain a vehicle of some sort, since I hate driving and flat out refuse to do 100% of it in a relationship. YMMV.

(in reply to Raiden)

Post #: 52

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/29/2008 10:48:04 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Your sub is handicapped and it is perfectly acceptable because he can toilet himself and drive?

Dom in a wheelchair is not acceptable? How did lifting on to a pot or wiping an ass come in to this?

all that was asked was- how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 53

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/30/2008 9:34:42 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
Your sub is handicapped and it is perfectly acceptable because he can toilet himself and drive?

Depends on your definition of acceptable. Maybe I'm a bad, shallow person, but I personally would not be willing to date someone who did not drive or who needed nursing type care, even though being handicapped or in a wheelchair is, obviously, not an automatic deal breaker for me in a relationship. Other people's mileage may vary. I am only defining "acceptable to me personally in the context of a relationship". There are a lot of people I would not personally choose to date or play with, but that does not make them "unacceptable".

quote:

Dom in a wheelchair is not acceptable? How did lifting on to a pot or wiping an ass come in to this?

The deal breaker there would be the "dom" part, not the wheelchair part. I'm commenting on my personal dating parameters here, not some lofty moral notion of "acceptable".

quote:

all that was asked was- how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?

Oh, I see. All posts in a thread must only address the OP's question within strict parameters and no one may share their personal experiences or thoughts if they only happen to be similar or related, not exactly the same. You be sure to let the CM mods know how the standards for posting here have changed. I'm sure they'll want to know.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 54

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/30/2008 10:37:53 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

You know if people Did Just Simply Answer the Question asked it would avoid a hellva lot of BS.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 55

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/30/2008 10:46:54 AM

jenara

Posts: 11
Joined: 2/8/2008
Status: offline

as being Dominant is more about personality, than actions, i don't see why being physically handicapped is even an issue. For me personally it's the intellectual discourse and the mental play that is by far more stimulating. That having been said, as a carer for my son i would think very hard before putting myself into service to someone with a disability simply because i know i have limits on how much i can give and i don't think that would be fair on the Dominant. I've had this discussion with a Dom friend of mine who is disabled and he agrees with me that it would have to be someone without other commitments for him as he does need physical care.

tina

(in reply to Raiden)

Post #: 56

RE: Is this acceptable? - 3/30/2008 10:50:34 AM

subsezM

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline

My Domm is in a wheelchair... and believe me W/we manage just fine lol. And yes He does run me over occasionally... especially at the checkout in the supermarket lol.. But seriously..when i met Him He wasn't wheelchair bound but managed on 2 sticks.. over the last few years His condition has worsened. W/we have just learned to adapt and like many have said.. the control is moremental than just physical so it hasn't been as much of an issue as Y/you would think

sez xxxxxxxxxxxxx

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 57

RE: Is this acceptable? - 4/1/2008 10:05:54 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

You know if people Did Just Simply Answer the Question asked it would avoid a hellva lot of BS.

It's nice to know that you think my relationship is BS, but since it doesn't involve you, you don't get a vote.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 58

RE: Is this acceptable? - 4/1/2008 10:21:14 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raiden

how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?

Everyone is great in their own ways!
It's all about the magic between a D & s.
So get out there, meet people and enjoy life.

I wish you enough.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Raiden)

Post #: 59

RE: Is this acceptable? - 4/1/2008 10:25:21 AM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

~fr~

As I am in a wheelchair myself, it would be awkward for me to have a Dom who is also in a wheelchair. (One reason I stopped going to the "disabled dating" sites.) Not that I would respect him any less, or think any less of his mental energy and power; just that I don't have the agility to do certain things, but with an able-bodied Dom I can do them with his help.

The other concern is that I might not be able to help him care for his needs. Granted, I am not guaranteed that an able-bodied man is going to stay able-bodied forever, but at least should some catastrophic event (accident or illness) render him disabled, we would have had time to build a relationship that can encompass two disabled people.

pip, can't drive but can go to the toilet alone

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 60

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