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Takes too long to orgasm - 6/23/2005 10:08:46 PM

nonuts4thshoney

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Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
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Ok, I have read several threads on Orgasm control with people needing to orgasm often. But I haven't seen any with my problem (unless I missed it). It takes me a really long time to orgasm. Anywhere from 45 minutes to not being able to at all. I've gone 4 hours until I've orgasmed. I know that many have said that it is mental and I agree. It just would be nice to do the quickie thing once in a while. Has anyone had this problem and if so what methods have you tried to orgasm sooner?

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/23/2005 10:42:30 PM

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Joined: 12/6/2004
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It depends. How long does it take you alone? 4 hours? I doubt it

If this presumption is correct, and hey it might not be, but doubtful.
Then YOU know how to make yourself cum quickist, its then a matter of teaching your Master which buttons to press, how hard and for how long.

And maybe the stimulation is not sufficient enough in the right areas. Lots of vaginal, no clit, = 4hrs.
Lots of clit, no mind stimulation, and i can do a shopping list, whilst i stifle yawns.
Also, abstinence seems to fasten the results for me, just dont seem to get round to that much these days, thank god!
We are each different. Having slept with women, who obviously have the same tackle as i do, i at first thought that what did it for me, would for them ha ha ha. But weve all got sexual practices that are slow medium and cum.

As you have only been with your Master for a short while, i can tell you that the two 10+ yrs relationships ive done, the techniques definately improved with time. As did the tailoring sex for our own needs. With children in my picture, i learnt to sleep on a clothes line, and come in about 17 seconds. We developed something called a 'shank', where we'd both masterbate along side each other, watching each other, that kinda speeded things a little, if you've only got the time it takes for a toddler to eat some cheese cubes, you get kinda creative.

You could always do a little field study: try different things on yourself, see what 'up's the volume'.
Get them toys out, and relearn how to use the things on yourself. Fill every oriface, try adding gallons of lube, try it dry, try it hot, try it cold. See what works.

Im probably the biggest wanker ive met, ive learnt to vary things a little, as id bore the fuck out of myself if i didnt, just hand the knowledge on.
good luck

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/23/2005 10:56:50 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
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I have problems with sexual gratification because I suffered years and years of extensive almost daily sexual abuse. I take forever to cum if ever at all as well.

I get a good strong vibrator if I wanna cum and get it done with.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/24/2005 12:09:42 AM

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Joined: 12/6/2004
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So did i felinepersuasion, just decided that coz the bastards took my childhood, they sure as fuck arent getting my adulthood.
Its a bit like learning to submit, to trust another. Takes some time, and positive experiences, but mostly it takes, deciding to be a survivor, not a victim anymore.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/24/2005 6:58:55 AM

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Joined: 5/10/2005
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quote:

So did i felinepersuasion, just decided that coz the bastards took my childhood, they sure as fuck arent getting my adulthood.

That's the spirit!

Beautifully strong outlook you have...I'm impressed!

_____________________________

Kittie ~ honoured to be Hers...

Don't try to be a great sub, just be a sub and let history make it's own judgements.

Blessed Be

(in reply to pandoravampire)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/24/2005 8:15:52 AM

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i look forward to the responses to the thread.

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 6/26/2005 6:20:04 PM >

(in reply to KittieSummers)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/24/2005 2:05:09 PM

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Joined: 5/13/2005
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Hey ya'll...Some great suggestions here. But, I was wondering, any help for someone who has never had an orgasm during sex? When oral is performed, no problem at all. But when theres a penis inside me...nothing. I mean, it feels good and all, but theres no physical sensation of pelasure, its purely mental. Even during masturbation, nothing going on.

Is it possible to be born without a G-Spot?

(in reply to RiotGirl)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/24/2005 2:26:32 PM

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Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline

im going to say 'no'.
but i could be wrong!
from my understanding it's all about nerve endings and perhaps it's possible to have less of those in an area than someone else, but quite uncommon to have none in an area such as that...the G spot is so incredibly difficult to properly locate and stimulate though for most women, that's more likely the reason...
one doesn't have to find it though to be stimulated vaginally/internally obviously, there are other spots.
ive recently discovered that the level of hormones you're taking (birth control or otherwise) can play a large role in your sex life, not just you mood but your physical response too.
i take an incredibly long time to come on bc and less off... why this past weekend i got it done in about 3 mins! yeah go me ;)
my orgasm is completely dependent on how stimulated the gray matter is and i have to 'take control' or responsibility for that.
not to share too much, but, if it takes thinking about the most radical, taboo, lustfilled, nasty, perverted thing you've ever heard of to get off, DO IT! don't be afraid to explore mentally as well as physically because that's the quickest pathway to finding your 'o'.
sometimes i have to stop all the physical sensation, decrease the lube factor, and go back to slow, light, almost ticklish caresses too. men seem to automatically think 'she's getting close, i should go faster, harder, deeper' but sometimes that just numbs me out. that's why i don't use vibes... too numbing.
and one last thought, try humiliating yourself if you haven't explored that... sometimes being a sick little cumwhore is what the Dr. ordered ;)

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(in reply to Davesgirl)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/24/2005 11:17:46 PM

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Joined: 12/6/2004
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Hiya Davesgirl,
buy a butterfly. Silicone gel thing, about the size of a box of matches, sits on your clit, held there by a suspender looking thing, and vibrates delightfully around your clit. Battery operated, or a vibrating cock ring, or stick your finger down and play with yourself whilst your sat on top letting him watch you do it. There is nothing wrong with stimulating the clit whilst being penetrated, to achieve orgasm, it doesnt make the orgasm second class, coz you had to have both vaginal and clitoral stimulus to cum. The majority of women i know, do not come from vaginal stimulus alone, needing clitoral stimuli too.

Born without a G spot. Ive worked in a sexual dysfunction clinic, helping people who came saying 'i dont have any erogenous zones, im dead sexually'. G spot, yes you have one. Get in there girl and find it. Its the only rough feeling surface inside the vagina. On the front wall of the vagina, nearest your tummy. It gets more pronounced and bumpy if your very aroused. So best to locate it for the first time, just after orgasm. If i have mine rubbed long enough, i feel very sick! Its not always pleasurable. Though, you'd think so from the hype it gets.

A orgasm, is just part of great sex, personally, i really enjoy the road to it more than the orgasm, which is over in seconds really. And the longer the route to a orgasm, the better i like it. With each orgasm during a session, my interest wanes a little, my 'need' is less. h

(in reply to Davesgirl)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/26/2005 10:12:25 AM

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Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

Ok, I have read several threads on Orgasm control with people needing to orgasm often. But I haven't seen any with my problem (unless I missed it). It takes me a really long time to orgasm. Anywhere from 45 minutes to not being able to at all. I've gone 4 hours until I've orgasmed. I know that many have said that it is mental and I agree. It just would be nice to do the quickie thing once in a while. Has anyone had this problem and if so what methods have you tried to orgasm sooner?

i bottomed several months ago to a Dom from this site....
25 yrs experience
prided himself on reading a girls body
his own dungeon

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH
he knew i was NOT a masochist ......
trede to make me orgasm by mashing my clit and causeing me such intense UGLY unpleasureable pain in my nether region that i willed myself to orgasm...just to get him away.
I will never not use my safeword again.
His response?
I can make you a painslut, you needed pain to orgasm.
All his claims about himself and my respect were OUT the fucking window.

Yes, it takes me along time..............
but i can easily orgasm sucking one cock....my Dom's.
He knows it and enjoys the pleasure i give Him and the pleaure i receive from giving Him pleasure. Period. End of it for me.

~~shy

edited cause my spelling was sooooo bad!

< Message edited by slavedesires -- 6/29/2005 6:35:20 PM >

_____________________________

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"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/26/2005 12:41:43 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

It depends. How long does it take you alone? 4 hours? I doubt it

If this presumption is correct, and hey it might not be, but doubtful.
Then YOU know how to make yourself cum quickist, its then a matter of teaching your Master which buttons to press, how hard and for how long.

When i am alone i can orgasm quickly. When with Master it takes me like 3 hours. i know that this is a mental thing. i think this is happening because the feeling i get when i orgasm quickly verses taking a long time are different. When i orgasm quickly it is blah, but when it takes forever i wake up the neighbors with an explosive orgasm. Master is very skilled with her tongue. Master is definetly not the problem. i often (ok all the time) lay there enjoying the feeling not getting right to it. i lay there like i'm getting a massage on my clit.

LOL! Subconciously i probably delay getting right to it be cause of this. Maybe Master would consider get me one of those pocket rockets to get me there quicker. i can usually orgasm without thinking with those things

and she may be (and her tongue) happier because of it.

(in reply to slavedesires)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/26/2005 12:57:00 PM

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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AND LIKE IF ANY BITCHS ON HERE HAS TRUBBLE FINDNIG THEYRE G SPOT THEY CAN ASK ME FOR HELP I AM AN EXPRET

quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

the G spot is so incredibly difficult to properly locate and stimulate though for most women, that's more likely the reason...

(in reply to subversiveone)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/26/2005 1:04:41 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

AND LIKE IF ANY BITCHS ON HERE HAS TRUBBLE FINDNIG THEYRE G SPOT THEY CAN ASK ME FOR HELP I AM AN EXPRET

quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

the G spot is so incredibly difficult to properly locate and stimulate though for most women, that's more likely the reason...

LOL!!

i hadn't experienced a g-spot orgasm until i met Master. i always squirm when she is pleaseing me because she knows that means to stick those fingers in and play with my g-spot.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/27/2005 11:17:01 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2005
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LAM You're so crude, id be "yer ho"
lol...

this is subversiveone btw! NOT DaddyMstr, lol

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/28/2005 7:14:06 AM

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Joined: 2/2/2004
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I am one of those rare little birds that doesn't have that trouble, but this was asked in the most recent issue of Psychology Today. It's not the most reputable magazine, but it was the only recent magazine at the dentist's office (so don't judge

).
The answer they gave was something like this: Why is the orgasm the goal? Instead of making sex and sexual activity about the orgasm just make it about pleasure in general. If you make orgasm the goal then sex becomes stressful and it makes it all the harder to reach it.
I don't know if this is good advice, but it sounds good.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/28/2005 8:38:33 AM

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There are different types of orgasms, most women need clitoral stim to orgasm, some are able to orgasm from just vaginal stim.

Sometimes with practice, understanding and patience, one can learn to orgasm one way or the other. Just have fun playing with your body.

I am difficult to orgasm with someone else, specially in actual intercourse.

(in reply to siamsa24)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/29/2005 9:56:42 AM

flirt

Posts: 29
Joined: 5/16/2004
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Has your Master mentioned anything to you about liking a certain thing such as prolonged sex, or that her feelings about quick orgasm would displease her, anything you may have just dismissed in your mind?

How were your orgasms before your Master? Quick, prolonged? Are you sexually attracted to her or is the D/s relationship your primary focus. Do you feel it is your place to be sure she is sated and it does not matter about your own satisfaction? There could be so many reasons for this. Do you consider this a problem? Perhaps it isn't a problem at all if it just takes you a while, but if you have to create the mind frame and change the situation in your mind to reach orgasm then perhaps you both have something to discuss.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Davesgirl, i have never had an orgasm with vaginal penetration either. i just assume it is because of my build, my clit is very high up and an angel cannot be found as of yet to get any direct stimulation to the clit.

i can orgasm with masturbation and it still takes me a while to get the nerves stimulated enough for me to feel enough sensation. i have never orgasmed with clitoral stimulation by anyone eles hand i have a couple times with oral stimulation. i wonder if some nerves relate to others in the body or if it is all mental but i found i get those twinges in my clit even if it is not being touched when my nipple is being sucked lol..i wonder.

Discovering that there are indeed different kinds of orgasm was a delightful one for sure. There are several as EmeraldSlaave2 has said. The first time i had an orgasm, squirted in fact by using my G-spot i was not sure what happened caught me off gaurd and i thought i had peed but after a few more times i learned to enjoy the intense pleasure. Vaginally i feel nothing at all either.

flirt

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: Takes too long to orgasm - 6/30/2005 7:33:18 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: flirt

Has your Master mentioned anything to you about liking a certain thing such as prolonged sex, or that her feelings about quick orgasm would displease her, anything you may have just dismissed in your mind?

No it is the opposite. Master would prefer that i orgasm quicker than i do. i happen to like prolonged sex because my orgasms are then more intense.

quote:

ORIGINAL: flirt

How were your orgasms before your Master? Quick, prolonged? Are you sexually attracted to her or is the D/s relationship your primary focus. There could be so many reasons for this. Do you consider this a problem? Perhaps it isn't a problem at all if it just takes you a while, but if you have to create the mind frame and change the situation in your mind to reach orgasm then perhaps you both have something to discuss.

Before Master my orgasms were very quick. i could orgasm in less than a minute, but this was from masturbation. i can't even do that anymore. i am very attracted to Master and become very aroused by her, so this is not the problem. it just takes me a long time, but i seem to enjoy that more. i heard something on the radio today that maybe once you reach a certain age your clitoris sensation may change. Now they said that it can be more intense or not intense as before. Maybe this is whats happening with me. i'm only 30, but in my 20's i could barely touch myhself and i would orgasm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: flirt

Do you feel it is your place to be sure she is sated and it does not matter about your own satisfaction?

It doesn't bother me if i don't orgasm. i just want her to feel good, so that matters more to me.

(in reply to flirt)

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