RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (Full Version)

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BitaTruble -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 7:47:55 PM)
Congratulations on trying to expand your knowledge, Ross. The Turks head knot is very complex. I wish I had had someone to teach it to me hands on instead of learning it out of a book. You paid for the class to learn it. The class had a teacher and you utilized that teacher. Sounds like something an enthusiastic student would take advantage of rather than remain in ignorance. Kudo's to you and screw those who had issues with it. They don't pay your bills. Celeste

mistoferin -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 7:49:15 PM)
Is there a chance that maybe your behavior was inappropriate, excessively needy, whiny or having to be the center of constant attention....and people were trying to tell you but you just weren't "hearing" them?

goddessAVA -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 8:02:25 PM)
well that sucks-I have taken classes before and the really good bdsm educators are patient and make sure everyone understands. I guess just chalk it up to experience and move on, the next time be very insistent about your learning needs and damn all protocal-info sharing should be that SHARING!

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 8:04:39 PM)
very well said Goddess Ava i do not understand of late what is up with people why they can not see that passing education a long to make a better comunity is important

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 8:38:18 PM)
it has nothing to do with the protocol inside or when playing has to do with what some think i should do there are alot of doms that where there and Dommes that think just becouse i am submissive mean i have to listen to everything they say it has nothing to do with interupting during a scen i know and i atend to all that protcol couse i know when i play i dont want anyone getting in the way quote: ORIGINAL: NControlofU From my experience, if someone has an issue or concern about some safety matter or some protocol matter, the person(s) with the concerns should take them to the Host/Hostess of the event and let them inform you and/or deal with you about the issue of concern. Theres no need for a direct confrontation between participants that could cause a disruption of the event for the other participants.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 8:40:31 PM)
Thank you so much i just wish i could get this last knote done i cant figure it out and am hoping that my friend Ms Maria can help me with it this week somtime ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Congratulations on trying to expand your knowledge, Ross. The Turks head knot is very complex. I wish I had had someone to teach it to me hands on instead of learning it out of a book. You paid for the class to learn it. The class had a teacher and you utilized that teacher. Sounds like something an enthusiastic student would take advantage of rather than remain in ignorance. Kudo's to you and screw those who had issues with it. They don't pay your bills. Celeste

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 8:42:23 PM)
I am not gona say that that could not be the problem couse it could be so i dont know but i do know that no one tried to tell me anything at all when they did have a problem with me so i think that how do i know what to think if no one tells me ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Is there a chance that maybe your behavior was inappropriate, excessively needy, whiny or having to be the center of constant attention....and people were trying to tell you but you just weren't "hearing" them?

chellekitty -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/23/2007 8:42:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NControlofU From my experience, if someone has an issue or concern about some safety matter or some protocol matter, the person(s) with the concerns should take them to the Host/Hostess of the event and let them inform you and/or deal with you about the issue of concern. Theres no need for a direct confrontation between participants that could cause a disruption of the event for the other participants. while agree that you shouldn't be disruptive, i also think that hosts/hostesses (who aren't always Dominant btw...) should not be required or even asked to police and/or babysit a bunch of adults...if you can't deal with an individual who is being dissruptive, sure you should ask for help...but from the example given....asking too many questions in a class and the exageration of people from the event talking about the OP (i am sorry, unless you're a presenter or for some other reason on stage, perhaps legendary and just show up, you're not that important)...it sounds like his "friend" was just being a bitch...and event organizers aren't there to solve your personal problems...if they were they would ask for a lot more money...

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 8:44:41 PM)
the only speaker and demonstator at the entire event that i think was 100% great and on target and fully there to help was when Jay Wiseman spoke not sure if anyone knows of him but he is a famouse SM and BDSM wrigter he wrote the book SM101 and sevral others ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: goddessAVA well that sucks-I have taken classes before and the really good bdsm educators are patient and make sure everyone understands. I guess just chalk it up to experience and move on, the next time be very insistent about your learning needs and damn all protocal-info sharing should be that SHARING!

Rover -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/23/2007 8:51:24 PM)
Ross, we attended the same event this weekend. You might recognize me from my profile photograph. And while I was not privy to whatever perceived slight you endured at the event, my advice is still the same. Ignore it. You're making more of it here than was evidently made at the event (as evidenced by the fact that I was blissfully unaware of any problem you had at the event, and cannot say the same for here). John

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/24/2007 10:28:10 AM)
i wasnt awear of the problem untill i got home when someone told me about it so i didnt know iether i am just asking what others would think of this and how they would react and all im not to great with faces and names but yes you do look familer ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Ross, we attended the same event this weekend. You might recognize me from my profile photograph. And while I was not privy to whatever perceived slight you endured at the event, my advice is still the same. Ignore it. You're making more of it here than was evidently made at the event (as evidenced by the fact that I was blissfully unaware of any problem you had at the event, and cannot say the same for here). John

MisPandora -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying (7/24/2007 10:31:35 AM)
Nevermind......

thetammyjo -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 10:59:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I'd be amused, maybe finally just go up and say "OK my ears have been burning, who has a present for me?" If they aren't complaining to a DM or someone with authority,then it's just immature gossip and should be laughed away. If they are complaining to someone with authority, presumably they know what's up and will assess what's going on independently and communicate with you. I agree. However I would add caution. Sometimes gossip can ruin people's reputations and often that is all you have in this world. Be very wary of who you discuss this with because sometimes someone will tell you about someone else saying something bad about you when in fact it is them and they merely wish to gauge your reaction or try to find more gossipy material.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 1:46:59 PM)
so far i have cut of contact with the ones who dont understand me and i will continu to do so i am going to stay out of the PHG seen and just continue with who i know where i know i dont need to hear what i do wrong from others if its always gona be in a negative way i will be me and i will hope that i will meet the right Mistress who will one day help me to become better and if that is to help with my problem of speaking tomuch then to be trained to know its better to be seen then heard is somthing that will work out greatly if its somthing els then its somthing els my only point in posting this was i realy was hoping to get feeedback on weather you think its right for the gossip or if you think its right for them to tell others what you are not doing right but not come to you directly with what ever problem they may have with you

Rover -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 1:55:14 PM)
Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback? Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you. John

BitaTruble -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 2:10:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback? Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you. John I may be wrong about this, because Ross can be a bit difficult to comprehend, but it was my understanding from what he wrote that he doesn't know who the people were which complained so that's probably not an option for him. Celeste

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 2:20:36 PM)
wondering if maybe i just havnt clearly stated this wich i thout i sayd ones i dont know who everyone was couse no one came to tell me they whent to complane to a friend if i had a problem with someone i would tell them and wish they had told me i would confront them if i knew who they where but i cnat couse i dont i just had to hear about it from a friend ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback? Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you. John

Rover -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 2:22:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble I may be wrong about this, because Ross can be a bit difficult to comprehend, but it was my understanding from what he wrote that he doesn't know who the people were which complained so that's probably not an option for him. Celeste And if that's the case, there could be no expectation that the people he's complaining about should have, or could have, contacted him. He may not even know with any degree of certainty that anyone complained about him at all. Or if they did, that it was not simply a private conversation that we have all had about someone we met who did not leave a favorable impression. And someone violated the privacy of that conversation to tell Ross, who then runs to a public bulletin board to make his complaint public. For crying out loud, no wonder there's so much friggin drama out there. And the fact that people encourage this sort of behavior... well... you get what you ask for. More people need to grow thicker skins, and evolve private lives (rather than living them so publicly via computer). John

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 2:30:48 PM)
Thank you atleast a few in here understand what i say even though i can be hard to understand at times thank you ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback? Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you. John I may be wrong about this, because Ross can be a bit difficult to comprehend, but it was my understanding from what he wrote that he doesn't know who the people were which complained so that's probably not an option for him. Celeste

Guilty1974 -> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or ano (7/24/2007 2:34:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phin Personaly I would perfer someone to come to me, I very strongly disagree with you. When I'm playing at a party I want everybody to keep their distance (gossip doesn't bug me that much). With one exception: the Dungeon Monitors of the party. A lot of players do dangerous stuff, and the last thing you want is unknown people from the audience to approach you. When you see something that annoys you, please inform a DM or staff member and let THEM handle it from there. They know if what's going on is or is not allowed at their club, they should be able to judge if something is (too) dangerous or annoying, and they should have the social skills to intervene - if necessary - in a polite and safe way.

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