puella
Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
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I think it is only right, given my history on these boards, and I suppose largely due as well to who I am as a person, that I present the most heartfelt of thanks to a very large change in my circumstances.
My struggles through the darkness of losing my former collar have been rather well documented here, and I have always been so very grateful to the many people who wrote and told me they found comfort, if only in feeling there was someone who understood something that they felt, from my writings and posts. Also, of course, were all those people who so willingly regarded a proposed idea or question of mine and would volunteer their perspective and often times very good advice.
That certainly is something that helped me move from disconsolate grief to, at least, the realm of the functioning adult. The kindness and wisdom of so many of the posters here had really brought me to a reconciliation of being okay with making choices that were necessary to me at the time even if they were not mainstream. I found a comfort in the decision of solitude and functionary isolation and felt I was still allowed a legitimate voice here in this community regardless of my decision to remain alone.
I have been much absent of late.
I have also been so very lucky.
I am with someone now from this very site. It would be remiss of me not to give thanks for that and to point out to those who have found comfort or understanding in my words of grief that even the most stalwart of isolationists can be found and made to smile again.
I do not think any but this remarkable man could have done what he has. He has been patient without being self compromising and has guided me so steadily that for a long time, I do not believe I knew that it was he (rather than my own stubbornness) I was leaning on as I became stronger and mor vital in my own right.
He has brought the reality of happiness as an experience and not just an observation back into my life and has quite thoroughly taken me to places I need to be intrinsically and instinctually and every day seems a wonder now that he has taken me...I am blissfully happy and profoundly enslaved.
Buck up little campers… I never deserved it and it has happened to me, more elementally beautifully than I could have ever imagined, let alone held hope for myself.
There really is the chance that somewhere out there, when the moment is right, he will come for you...don't be too stubborn (or too scared) to grab his extended fingers.
I wonder if those words will seem more true to some of you who are hurting than they did to me when I was in such darkness….I hope so.
At any rate, thanks to so many of you, and most of all to him.
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We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce
"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta
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