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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/26/2007 6:02:19 PM

goddessAVA

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god I love a painslut-ever in phila?

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/26/2007 6:33:48 PM

PsyVamp

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Okay, I think I need a definition of your meaning of the word "submit". I can bottom to certain people, how far does it need to go before you call it submitting?
And I don't think I'd do this as courtship, I would only test how far I could bottom for myself. (I say bottom because, under my definitions, I don't sub)

~Psy

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/26/2007 6:48:46 PM

MissIsis

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No, I wouldn't. I started as a submissive. I don't know if that makes any difference in my answer, but no, I wouldn't. I can't imagine why a submissive I was in negotiations with, would even ask that.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/26/2007 8:14:46 PM

Faramir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Would you ever submit to a professional dominatrix (for free) as a part of an agreement with a potential submissive you were courting? Purely as an educational experience?

If no, why not?

No.

For the same reason I wouldn't fuck a dog or suck a guys cock--it's repulsive to me sexually.

The whole question is whacky to me--the dynamic you are describing (the submissive making demands on the Dom) is the opposite of what I am interested in what I do. That sounds like some service top thing to me: "I'll let you flog my bottom as a service to me once you prove you are able to take a flogging." That would totally squick my little girl out.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/27/2007 9:54:51 AM

cumulus

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No. The whole notion is just retarded. The idea that you have to bottom before you can top is ludicrous fancy dreamt up by other bottoms who seem to think that "it just isn't fair" for them.

If you're of the mind that anyone has to submit to the will of someone else as a condition or test of their dominance, then honestly, you don't really get it. Yeah, here comes the hate mail, but what the hell. Personally, I think you are what you are. Whatever you say you are, you simply need to be. Having anyone else dictate that for you is, in itself, submission to the will of another and means that you've decided to relinquish yourself to meet someone else's expectations. Kinda hard to strut around as UberDom when your ass is being used as a candle holder.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/27/2007 12:32:54 PM

SirEbonyPhoenix

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To this topic, let me say that I would never submit to a Dominatrix because for me, it is unnatural and would expose my vulnerablities as a man. Besides, if a Dom has a submissive/slave, wouldn't it be better for them to submit to a Dominatrix (upon agreement and only if it is part of their slave training) so that the Dom can at least observe their particular techniques as far as spanking, whipping, flogging, etc.? Just my humble opinion.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/27/2007 1:36:10 PM

ECF

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It would all depend on the woman. I say woman, because I wouldn't be ok with it in any way shape or form for a man, I'm straight, but I have nothing against those who aren't.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/31/2007 12:58:48 PM

SireKane

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"No.

For the same reason I wouldn't fuck a dog or suck a guys cock--it's repulsive to me sexually.

faramir, well said! I'm laughing my ass off.

Kane

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/31/2007 1:15:09 PM

GhitaAmati

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My Sir has asked me to hit him with a new toy before, so he knows what it feels like, but I know he would never submit to a Domme...and hes been asked by quite a few. I know Michael did the charity thing, so I guess under some circumstances I could see it happening..but I dont see the "edjucational" reasoning....

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/31/2007 9:25:12 PM

Valyraen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Would you ever submit to a professional dominatrix (for free) as a part of an agreement with a potential submissive you were courting? Purely as an educational experience?

If no, why not?

Nope. I was the submissive in a vanilla relationship, and even today I look back with considerable chagrin at the way I behaved. Also... I submit about as well as... well, I'm lost for an appropriate metaphor at the moment, but I'll just say that putting me in handcuffs is going to result in either a pair of broken cuffs or a trip to the ER to treat the severed veins in my wrist from pullin' at them.

quote:

When you answer, clarify if you are switchy already or if you have subbed before vs. always a top. I am very curious!

Akasha

Aqua and I tried reversing the roles for a grand total of 5 minutes, during which time she completely froze and I nearly dislocated my thumb getting it out of the cuffs, howled defiance at any attempt to get me to do what she wanted, and promptly flipped us over and... well, let's just say it was hot.

As I said before, I did a bit of subbing in a non-BDSM sense with an ex-girlfriend before I embraced my dominance. That was a miserable eleven months.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/31/2007 10:14:50 PM

Grlwithboy

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I'm probably more on the "flexible" side of things, and I have played with pros when I was an active pro and I wanted a caning or spanking or something - but I'll definitely chime in to say that "being asked by a sub" to do a scene as a bottom with a pro would create an automatic resistance. If they really want to experience that "bottom's bottom" thang, they can go suggest me a middle themselves.

Additionally, when I did have the pleasure of working with M/f couples as a trainer or participant or co-top I really made an effort to steer clear of "flipping" dynamics unless they were sought, - no matter how sub I thought the guy may or may not have actually been or how rough his newbie skills were - I think it would just be really obnoxious and poor as a professional and as a person to try and push some kind of agenda.

< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 7/31/2007 10:17:04 PM >

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/31/2007 10:23:24 PM

WhiplashSmile

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Would you ever submit to a professional dominatrix (for free) as a part of an agreement with a potential submissive you were courting? Purely as an educational experience?

If no, why not?

If yes, what attitude would you bring to the experiment, and what warnings/questions would you have for the professional dominant that was going to be using you for a couple of hours? What limits would you put on it?

When you answer, clarify if you are switchy already or if you have subbed before vs. always a top. I am very curious!

Akasha

Well, I would perhaps entertain the thoughts of submitting to the experience with a list of limits.. such as nothing jammed up my ass, shoved down my pee hole, no pissing in my face, no ball torture, no hog tieing, and blah blah blah... Now she would still be able to have some fun with me for awhile, even though I had laundry list of limits. Plus, I would have the understanding that safe words would be respected and open for use. Fuck it, if I don't like what is going on I will want it to hault. I'd probally let it be known that I was going to be a smart ass for the session as well. Basically, she end up with a list of things I either enjoy or tolerate being a bottom for. Think I would have to do a couple of shot of Jeagermiester or something before the session got started... Mmmmm.. LOL

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 7/31/2007 10:43:24 PM

Estring

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I would never submit to a Dominatrix. I am sure they are lovely people, but I just never have had a desire to submit to one. I don't think my slave would want to see me with one either.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 8/2/2007 11:19:21 AM

QuietlySeeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Would you ever submit to a professional dominatrix (for free) as a part of an agreement with a potential submissive you were courting? Purely as an educational experience?

I would not as part of an agreement with a submissive; ...I would consider it for an educational experience.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
If yes, what attitude would you bring to the experiment, and what warnings/questions would you have for the professional dominant that was going to be using you for a couple of hours? What limits would you put on it?

Attitude:
Attitude would be curiosity more than anything else...to see what she could "get me" to do without the Dominant personality reasserting itself.

Limits:
She would have to reassure my submissive (she's the jealous sort).
Discretion (which means no video, pictures, voyeurs, etc)
No other people but her and I (unless my submissive wished to be there).
Personally, my limits would naturally be along the same lines as they are as a Dominant, as I don't normally do things with my submissive that I have not done to myself (or had done). Those would be discussed with the Domme in question during the negotiation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
When you answer, clarify if you are switchy already or if you have subbed before vs. always a top. I am very curious!

I have bottomed on very rare occasions and only to people that I knew very well. I identify as 99% top.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 8/2/2007 1:52:55 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Would you ever submit to a professional dominatrix (for free) as a part of an agreement with a potential submissive you were courting?

I wouldn't make that kind of agreement. For one thing, I cannot think of any answer in my mind that she could come up with as to why she would want me to do so that makes sense to me.

quote:

Purely as an educational experience?

I have done this. I was involved casually with a switch and while she always submitted to me, there was one night when I allowed her to dominate me...with plenty of limits. Part of my reason for doing so was to try and get some handle on the submissive experience.

quote:

If no, why not?

For me, I was never able to connect with a submissive side. I am apparently not a switch or bottom or submissive or masochist, though my sensual side did relate to the more physical aspects. I saw no big joy in doing the service she asked of me and did so out of respect for her and her place in my life and out of respect for the agreement I had made. She did not push too hard, either making it easier to stand by my agreement. The sexual aspects were more fun and the amount of pain play that was done was enlightening...not big into pain but did enjoy some of the sensuality of the lighter play, no sexual response to pure pain though and it surely never transformed into pleasure for me. It gave me a clearer view of myself in terms of having made the right choice and being more sure that it was not just the kink I enjoyed but the dominant side of the kink and the relationship.

quote:

If yes, what attitude would you bring to the experiment, and what warnings/questions would you have for the professional dominant that was going to be using you for a couple of hours? What limits would you put on it?

I've answered most of this above except for the warnings and limitations part. I warned her that there was to be no attempt to feminize me in any way, whether through deeds or words. That was all I had to warn her about...we knew each other well. As for limits...no cock and ball torture and no orgasm denial. The limits I had were the same ones I had on myself as a dominant at the time plus no watersports, no marks (had to work the next day and needed to be able to move in a way that patients did not notice a problem), no pictures.

quote:

When you answer, clarify if you are switchy already or if you have subbed before vs. always a top. I am very curious!

Akasha

Hope these answers helped.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 8/2/2007 3:01:45 PM

WhipSwitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Would you ever submit to a professional dominatrix (for free) as a part of an agreement with a potential submissive you were courting? Purely as an educational experience?

If no, why not?

If yes, what attitude would you bring to the experiment, and what warnings/questions would you have for the professional dominant that was going to be using you for a couple of hours? What limits would you put on it?

When you answer, clarify if you are switchy already or if you have subbed before vs. always a top. I am very curious!

Akasha

I would never do so as a condition. However, having never taken the submissive role, I am interested in trying it both for the educational experience as a Dom, and to find out if I can switch. In fact, I am quite interested in giving it a try for at least one "session".

If a potential sub suggested it of me, I would consider it under the following conditions. She must make all the arrangements, to my specification. I will meet with the Domme in question and come to an undestanding. If I am not comfortable, then I don't do it. I think it sets a bad precedent to respond to "demands" from a sub. Regardless of what I am interested in trying, if I get a vibe of "requirement", or an attitude that is not becoming of a submissive, she can walk.

As for limits, I would present my concerns and fantasies, and I would expect Her to start light, and work up slowly to a certain level. If she recognizes I am reaching that level, all the better, if not, I expect my use of safeword be absolutely heeded.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 8/3/2007 10:44:01 AM

LordVelvet

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I am a switch and would do it for My personal reasons not as a condition to a sub/slave.
LordVelvet

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 8/3/2007 4:15:40 PM

MrDiscipline44

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I can honestly say that any submisive presenting such an offer to me would be out on her ass. For one, she obviously does not understand the relationship dynamics if she's wanting this.

For two, what would it prove? Just as with using ones own toys on themselves before using it on their slave. It serves no real point. How it will feel to me will be nothing like how it will feel to her.

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 8/3/2007 4:44:47 PM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

For two, what would it prove? Just as with using ones own toys on themselves before using it on their slave. It serves no real point. How it will feel to me will be nothing like how it will feel to her.

I haven't read the entire thread, but I can't imagine a more salient point than this.

John

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RE: Question for doms - Submit to a dominatrix? - 8/4/2007 11:11:48 AM

Najakcharmer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife

I would have to say no. I see no more need for a dominant to understand how to be a submissive than I do for a wolf to understand how to be a rabbit.

As a hunter and someone who works with animals, I can testify that the best way to catch a rabbit is to understand what it is to be a rabbit. The best way to get control of an animal is to understand what it is to be that animal. I can do some fairly remarkable things with animals that most people cannot safely approach, not because I hold myself apart from them and think of myself as a master of animals, but because I almost literally live inside their minds when I am working with them. I know what they are thinking and feeling almost before they do, and that knowledge is power and control.

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