tucsonsoftly
Posts: 8
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline
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Hi Drifa, and thanks for the nice response. I think you are exactly right - the problem is in adopting the mindset. I can do it (kinda sorta) but only with a willing sub.
Examples: I was once asked to be the perp in a pretend rape scene. I wound up stumbling all over myself apologizing because I just could not do that. Physical violence that inflicts true pain, as opposed to things like OTK spankings, and this type of physical violence in particular, is so utterly against my beliefs I simply found it impossible to even pretend.... let alone achieve the necessary physical state.
I know - inability to perform pretend rape with a willing victim puts me pretty far down the list of desirable doms. My phone hasn't exactly been ringing off its forlorn little hook.
On a more successful note, I did once avail myself of the (invited) opportunity to tie a woman spreadeagle to the bedposts and have my way with her. Again displaying my limitations, I used silk scarves. Which she eagerly provided. Tied loosely, to allow easy escape. But we still had a lot of fun.
On the up side, she did call me a "heartless brute". On the down side, she was laughing her head off at the time.
Anyway, your big worry is that you might physically hurt your friend. But don't view this as a problem - view it as a perfect match. Your friend wishes "without any rough play... no desire to be spanked or hurt in any way."
A partner for her more perfect than you could not be found. You, a person who is utterly incapable of inflicting hurt.
Upon additional reflection, I think what you have here is a domme who is envying you. She wants to experience pleasures you obviously enjoy experiencing. So simply reverse roles. Bluntly, give her some of her own medicine. That should teach her a lesson, yes?
Torment her. When she begs, act like a REAL domme. As in make her beg more, by tormenting her more. She will (finally, at long last) have an orgasm(s) to be remembered and you, a submissive, will learn that domming can be fun!
And remember, domming her will be easy, because she wants to be submissive. She is actually assuming the emotional burden for you. Just like a good sub should do, yes?
This was the point I was trying to make about harshness is not necessary. You need not even "demand" anything. With a willing sub that wants to please, a simple statement that "I would like you to" will suffice. Anything more would be a gratuitous animosity.
Personally, I would first eagerly avail myself of the opportunity to.....
Have a good dinner with excellent table service. Have my hair washed. Have my nails done. Have my car washed. You will quickly discover that domming is fun!
I answered at length because your dilemma is related to something I am puzzling over more and more. The tantalizing possibilities of exercising dominance through kindness and the possibilities that two (at least primarily service-oriented) submissives might well make an ideal couple. Certainly they have the necessary empathy, understanding and trust.
Besides, I am naturally attracted to (female) submissives. Without exception, they are the nicest people I could even hope to meet. And I have a lifelong habit of rooting for underdogs.
I may be getting paranoid. Seems like every time I post, the thread instantaneously drops fatally dead in its tracks. Equipped with only a keyboard, I apparently have the awesome power to render a fatal kiss of terminal death. No fuss, no muss. And it's so very quick and easy. I can perform this vitally needed service from the convenient comfort of my own home.
So if any of our readers ever see a thread they want brutally slain, do please feel free to call on my services.
Best wishes to both of you.
Chuck
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Submissive learning to top? - 
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