RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (Full Version)

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DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:30:54 PM)

First off, welcome Ms E and mouse, I'm  a newbie too.

This thread has now reminded me of some of the opinions of the recent thread about Old Guard.  And when you discuss protocols and traditions, you put up gang signs (in my opinion) claiming your sect.  We should be proud of where ever we got kinky at, if that means a full protocol training period through mentors who follow a certain tradition AS well as the local Tops and bottoms that cruise for play at their local dungeon on Saturday and may troll for a fuck.  It's all a part of BDSM (another thread that Bita did yesterday).  There is no one true way (and as I said in a previous post, I am guilty of believing in one true way in my past).

The forums have people that post often and people that post only when a thread is interesting to that person.  There are several threads I don't respond to but the threads are like that community umbrella again.  I am not sure if I agree on everyone's tactics on Ms E's original post and it appears to me she's frustrated to some who may be contacting her on collarme.  We've all been there (I think).

But let's stop acting like BDSM isn't a form of sexual energy even if it's spiritual.  Vanilla sex with the right connection can be spiritual too and for someone who has been to many leather bars across the country, I see plenty of people who go there with protocol and traditions still looking to score some sex, it's all good. 

Have a good day!
DDZ-



lateralist1 -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:40:55 PM)

From my perspective D/s happens in every walk of life. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with BDSM and BDSM doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex. That's why we have all this confusion. All Dominants and all submissives have different ideas of what it's all about and then they project their views onto others who probably aren't interested in them.
If a submissives writes to me in an obviously learned style I reject them.
Because if there is any training to be done I'll do it when we have agreed on a D/s relationship and not until. That might take days, months, or years.
I suggest that if anyone wants a submissive who is already trained then they state that.
But I don't like it when somone else trains someone in a way that is right for them because the sub my be rejected by the next Dominant because she/he has acted on the training. In other words stop messing up peoples chances. By all means explain how she will be trained if you take her on. But don't actually do it until you have.
The old ways are fast disappearing. The future is looking great cause I can have sex with my slave yipee.



MzMia -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:43:11 PM)

Lateralist, that is certainly a positive way of looking at things.
LOL



AquaticSub -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:48:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I don't hold that dominants are flawless, but the reaction to LthrMaam's email, to me at least, was fairly insulting to anyone who would have appreciated the letter she obviously put time and thought into writing. "Mindless bimbo's" isn't exactly a compliment and perhaps she didn't realize that she wasn't insulting LthrMaam so much as she was insulting every submissive who would have responded differently from her to LthrMaam's email. Then again, she would not have been able to foresee that such would have been posted on a public board either. There was enough fault on both sides for sure.


I thought the mindless bimbo bit was from LthrMaam and directed at the submissive in question. At least that is the way I read it and I believe she said that she didn't post any of the sub's letters. Could be wrong.



FullCircle -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:50:48 PM)

Nope the girl said that to her. That was her solitary reply.

and and Ms E almost choked on it lol.



charlotte12 -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:55:09 PM)

I think it's good that people have taken time to point out that there is nothing wrong with a Dom/me requiring a submissive to adhere to their specific protocol right away. I do not think that Ms E telling the submissive to address her differently was in any way wrong and i hope she is not driven off by the posts made in this thread. I think what struck me negatively was not the requirement that this particular submissive behave in a certain way if she wishes to get to know Ms E but that there seemed to be a claim that this is how all submissives should behave. I see no problem with a Dom contacting me with specific guidelines for what he wants out of talking to me if they really are a requirement for communication with him. If i do not want that kind of relationship i will decline further communication. However, lectures on how one must behave to be a twue submissive will leave me taking a few moments to breath before trying to respond with a polite no thank you.




AquaticSub -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:56:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

Nope the girl said that to her. That was her solitary reply.

and and Ms E almost choked on it lol.


Oh then yeah, I think that does violate TOS. But that point aside, yes it's rude. But then I would also view her lecture as rude. Different types of rude but I can't say which is worse.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 1:59:47 PM)

Wow, never thought I would long for Lady Hugs...



FullCircle -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:00:28 PM)

I'm still picturing someone choking on an email. When I think of emails I think of them as being flat objects and so hard to get in your mouth in the first place. Also I bet they taste like fizzy envelopes. Not sure.



FullCircle -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:02:00 PM)

The lesson to learn here and it's one we could all do well to listen to: Don't try to eat Emails.



domiguy -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:02:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Wow, never thought I would long for Lady Hugs...



LOL.



AquaticSub -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:05:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

The lesson to learn here and it's one we could all do well to listen to: Don't try to eat Emails.


It's message that needs dancing puppets to really get it across.



beargonewild -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:06:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

I think it's good that people have taken time to point out that there is nothing wrong with a Dom/me requiring a submissive to adhere to their specific protocol right away. I do not think that Ms E telling the submissive to address her differently was in any way wrong and i hope she is not driven off by the posts made in this thread. I think what struck me negatively was not the requirement that this particular submissive behave in a certain way if she wishes to get to know Ms E but that there seemed to be a claim that this is how all submissives should behave. I see no problem with a Dom contacting me with specific guidelines for what he wants out of talking to me if they really are a requirement for communication with him. If i do not want that kind of relationship i will decline further communication. However, lectures on how one must behave to be a twue submissive will leave me taking a few moments to breath before trying to respond with a polite no thank you.




The point being that when a sub/slave is approaching a Master/Mistress for the first time, it is tough enough being a bit nervous doing so let alone trying to be perfectly correct in the approach.  Yes we will make a minor mistake in how we appraoch but one has to keep in mind that we are human and prone to errs. It isn't until after a Dom takes us in that we are further groomed and taught the proper protocol suitable for that Dom. Not all Doms follow the exact set of protocols



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:10:29 PM)

fast reply to nowhere'sville

to answer your question, op, does it matter if they're here for sex or D/s - everyone's here for something ...if they're not what you're seeking or if you feel they're not compatiable to your profile, then i suggest you do this simple thing - "delete", "block" and "move on"

sheeeeeeeeeeesh - does anyone read their CM handbook these days?!?!

oh btw - i'm starting a petition to ban the word twue from the BDSM dictionary.



FullCircle -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:12:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
It's message that needs dancing puppets to really get it across.


I've not learnt that skill yet I can't even do them dancing cloud things or the banana. I would if I could but alas no I can't.



charlotte12 -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:22:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

oh btw - i'm starting a petition to ban the word twue from the BDSM dictionary.



I'll sign it. I hate that it slips out of me sometimes [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m12.gif[/image]



AquaticSub -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:29:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

oh btw - i'm starting a petition to ban the word twue from the BDSM dictionary.



I'll sign it. I hate that it slips out of me sometimes [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m12.gif[/image]


I'd sign happily.



feastie -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:41:27 PM)

How about "real", can we put that one on the petition too?



charlotte12 -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:44:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

How about "real", can we put that one on the petition too?


No and you're not a real slave to even suggest it. the word twue is a fake word but the word real is truly correct.  [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m11.gif[/image]




DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Are they here for D/s or for sex? (7/28/2007 2:47:11 PM)

Now that would be a fantastic thread

"words to ban from the BDSM dictionary" [:D]



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