need advice/suggestions (Full Version)

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Shellsy -> need advice/suggestions (6/17/2004 8:59:58 AM)

Hi, I have a boyfriend who I love with all my heart and he is very submissive. I myself am submissive but also have very dominant qualities of which I have never acted out. I would love to do this for him, however since I have never done this before I am seeking "wisdom" from another. I wouldn't mind talking to either Dommes or subs. If you are willing to share your wisdom or experiences with me, please message me. Thanks...



Sundew02 -> RE: need advice/suggestions (6/17/2004 9:29:04 AM)

Shellsy, Online messages will of course be a place to start. When I decided to become active many years ago I sought out a Domme to mentor me. Because I did not want to accidentally cause permenant harm to the sweet males, I attended seminars as well when ever I found a new play that my Mentor did not either want to teach or didn't do. A person is your best source of knowledge, in the flesh. My choice of a Domme was not to say I could not have learned just as well from a Dom, the Domme was just closer. I did of course check to make sure she was as advertised before I set up the mentoring. Check your local D/s groups, munches, events. I hope this helps and good luck. Be safe. Tess



GoddessMarissa -> RE: need advice/suggestions (6/17/2004 10:30:18 PM)

If you have never acted out with your Dominant qualities then I would suggest on doing so. You never know until you try. You might find that you are more Dominant in nature than you think.



Voltare -> RE: need advice/suggestions (6/18/2004 2:40:46 AM)

I've known more then a few sub/sub relationships that were successful in the past - the best first step is what you are doing, and that is to discuss it. The sacrifices required to make these relationships work are not always easy - but sacrifice is part of every healthy relationship.

As to the mechanics, http://castlerealm.com/ is a great way to spend six or twelve hours doing research. Read the part about munches (a munch is a sort of informal BDSM gathering that is usually public and welcoming to all who come) and if you can find a munch in your area, they can be a great source of information.

The best piece of advice that I could offer would be if it feels right, go for it! If it doesn't, don't do it. You needn't be a 'Domme' just to make your boyfriend happy - one sided enjoyment works for a night or a few days, but in the long run if you are not content with the roles or activities you engage in, then the relationship ends up fizzling. Don't be afraid to try new things and don't be afraid to say no.

Good luck!

Stephan



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