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RE: does a swtich always try to top from the bottom?


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RE: does a swtich always try to top from the bottom? - 8/5/2007 8:14:55 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AMADF

After reading some post in this forum i kind of undestand more and thank you for it.

Personally i respect switchs as any bdsm player, actually my best bdsm friend is switch :) but i dont play with them. The main reason is that in the few session i have with them, they always try to top from the bottom.

Sometimes i think they are not really aware of it, but kind of "overtry" to please or impress or suprise dom: for instance i ask him to go to bathroom and wear a vibrating plug and he comes with plug but back already nacked, or things like they hear the cane and then they assume certain position, wich they think its better to do it. In that moment i think: I didnt ask to bend i just want you to stand there and listen the cane. 

I mean its fine when a sub does already "reads" you and obviously signals get more easy to read when play long with same parthner but i always find myself kind of tired after playing with switchs in the sense that i have to remind them that they dont need to "think" or "predict" my moves: im the one who gives the orders and I make sure they dont forget this.

The sessions where ok, but i always had this kind of emotion like trying to say "dont think for yourself, let me as mistress choose what i want, youre now a slave not the master". I dont say its bad a slave suggest thigs but i definetly preffear the feedback that always have after a session instead of simply doing it in a session.

This is something i havent feel when play with subs, even with experimented ones, . So this  experiences make me stop playing with them, but i was wondering: do all switches do this things or maybe i just found some of them who where a little "messy" when reiceiving orders?




The next time you find yourself in this situation (switch or not).. hand them the cane (or whatever you are using) and tell them;  "since I'm obviously just an extention of the cane to you and you seem to know better what I SHOULD be doing to make you happy, fee free to session yourself". 

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/5/2007 8:15:55 PM >


_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to AMADF)
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RE: does a swtich always try to top from the bottom? - 8/5/2007 8:45:14 PM   
AMADF


Posts: 66
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline
Jajaja lotusSong if you could see my face right now will see me with BIG smile.
Next time i found myself in this situation for sure will remember you.
Big clap!

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RE: does a swtich always try to top from the bottom? - 8/8/2007 2:15:46 AM   
Dini


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
Laughs… I am a Switch, to a very select few, and I have played with several switches in the past. One have tried to top from the bottom, but then again I have had true subbs try the same stunts on a first play.. I find that they are kind of testing the waters so to speak, especially since I am quite short and do not have a very overbearing physical appearance.

As for myself, I have noticed that if I decide to submit to someone, and we do have a scene I submit fully, I have the ability to drop into a very deep subspace and all logical thinking goes out the window.. I just follow orders and enjoy.. trying to pre-empt actions or orchestrate the scene is just way to much like hard work and ends up spoiling the scene for me.  

Dini

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RE: does a swtich always try to top from the bottom? - 8/8/2007 9:29:49 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AMADF

Thanks for your reply all :)

After reading them i kind of realize it might also be my style of dominantion that has an impact in this issue. This maybe became on the first place from expectations. I sincery in the beggining expected that playing with a switch would be super cool, maybe even better that playing with a sub, after all he is also a master and of course would know exactly what a master expect from subs, but in my experience instead of a docil sub i got kind of "rebel" one.



I do think this has to do with your expectations and style as a dominant.  I have no desire for a docile man.  Although rebel is the opposite end of the spectrum and I'm not so partial to extremes.   Somewhere in between those two poles work for me.  And I have found malesubs who fit that bill. but I also have seen some switches who are more docile.  Really about individuals and style IMO.


_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to AMADF)
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RE: does a swtich always try to top from the bottom? - 8/8/2007 10:06:58 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline
I've had this problem with men who are sub ID'd more often than switches. I find that most switches who are comfortable and trusting with me as the Domme are very avidly looking to submit, are less liable to fight what they came to me for, have fewer preconceptions of how I'm "supposed" to act in line with their fantasies etc. This is based on the patterns I noticed.

And I'm not saying all sub ID'd people are prone to directing and projecting - but those who have done this with me tend to imagine themselves as super slave not as "switchable."


(in reply to arayofsunshine55)
Profile   Post #: 25
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