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sub training - 8/3/2007 10:18:31 PM

curiousdee

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Joined: 8/1/2007
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I am new to this. I am submissive by nature , mu husband is dominant. I have been VERY curious about bondage and aspects other than spanking (already enjoy it). I heard that there was sub training and was wondering what it is and what is done. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

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RE: sub training - 8/3/2007 10:23:23 PM

Nilaihah

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Joined: 8/31/2006
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http://domsubfriends.com/voye/articles/6/

Just as the dominant had to be trained so did the bottom. If he or she wanted to be recognized as a good player or good sub missive learning the role-play was a necessity. Those with whom you played and in some cases knowledgeable observers judged how you performed in a scene. The manner in which you followed instructions, orders, the respect you gave your dominant, were all ways the sub or bottom was judged. If you were successful at being trained you gained prestige in the group. Dominants would then give consideration to taking you on as a full or part time sub missive. The sub missive then would be trained further by the Master or Domina to fit their particular needs for scene play and service.

The sub missives that proved themselves worthy in the eyes of the Master or Domina were then collared as slaves in many cases. This slave relationship means exactly what it sounds like - you are owned, body, possessions, and soul by the Master or Domina. You give up all your rights except those spelled out in a written, signed and witnessed slave contract. Your life is devoted to pleasing your Master or Mistress. There is no scene negotiation, there are no safe words and there is no questioning the will of the Master or Mistress. This is not much of a problem because the true slave has worked long and hard to become the property of his or her adored Mistress or Master.

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RE: sub training - 8/3/2007 10:41:02 PM

interestingtimes

Posts: 57
Joined: 5/14/2007
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sounds a little achacic lol, some dommes don't want or need a contract it just depends on stability of the relationship...

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RE: sub training - 8/4/2007 12:46:18 AM

freex

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/20/2005
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Hmm for him to preform training he will need to educate himself
as you are a couple doing this venture together educate eachother, read some stories and get some ideas on how you might like to adjust youre relations.

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RE: sub training - 8/4/2007 9:26:34 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nilaihah
This slave relationship means exactly what it sounds like - you are owned, body, possessions, and soul by the Master or Domina. You give up all your rights except those spelled out in a written, signed and witnessed slave contract. Your life is devoted to pleasing your Master or Mistress. There is no scene negotiation, there are no safe words and there is no questioning the will of the Master or Mistress.

While this type of dynamic may be true for some people, for others it is different. There is no one universal dynamic, and in each case the dynamic is defined by the individuals involved.

In my opinion, the dynamic described above will not suit most people who are just getting their feet wet. I think your limits and boundaries will initially be fluid, and use of safewords and the like would be helpful. If the relationship or dynamic leaves you unhappy, I think it is fair to expect it be adjusted or to recognize incompatibility. While keeping a dominant happy, a submissive must also take responsibility for her own happiness for an unhappy person does not serve well a relationship.

There is no one format for training. In general, training involves learning skills that might be useful towards service (for example, massage, bootblacking), preferences of the dominant (coffee preferences), and protocols defined for that relationship (how to address when in private and public). If you participate in local BDSM community events, some communities have a more formal protocol that is observed at a collective level, which would be one more thing to learn within training.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 8/4/2007 9:34:27 AM >

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RE: sub training - 8/4/2007 1:34:19 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nilaihah

http://domsubfriends.com/voye/articles/6/

Just as the dominant had to be trained so did the bottom. If he or she wanted to be recognized as a good player or good sub missive learning the role-play was a necessity. Those with whom you played and in some cases knowledgeable observers judged how you performed in a scene. The manner in which you followed instructions, orders, the respect you gave your dominant, were all ways the sub or bottom was judged. If you were successful at being trained you gained prestige in the group. Dominants would then give consideration to taking you on as a full or part time sub missive. The sub missive then would be trained further by the Master or Domina to fit their particular needs for scene play and service.

The sub missives that proved themselves worthy in the eyes of the Master or Domina were then collared as slaves in many cases. This slave relationship means exactly what it sounds like - you are owned, body, possessions, and soul by the Master or Domina. You give up all your rights except those spelled out in a written, signed and witnessed slave contract. Your life is devoted to pleasing your Master or Mistress. There is no scene negotiation, there are no safe words and there is no questioning the will of the Master or Mistress. This is not much of a problem because the true slave has worked long and hard to become the property of his or her adored Mistress or Master.

While that might work for you and the person who wrote that article, that depth of SM play isn't requisite nor does it work for everyone. It's ok, OP, if you want to just dabble in SM with your other half. Get involved in a local group, find a mentor, take some classes, or pick up some books on SM (SM101 by Jay Wiseman, Screw the Roses by Molly Devon and Philip Miller or The Topping Book and the Bottoming Book by Hardy et al.)

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