R we just fundamentally Libertine?

R we just fundamentally Libertine? (Full Version)

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kiyari -> R we just fundamentally Libertine? (8/4/2007 7:03:01 PM)
I have been a lurker and occasional poster for a bit, in here. From what I have read, Forums seem to deal primarily with D/s in some form. D/s ... M/s... Gor The Power Exchange philosophies, applied. Yet... "BDSM" does contain those who perhaps, are drawn here for sensation play. ...so what's her point?... Might this be a fundamental nature of those among us who best identify as "Switch"? ...not that we do not seek serious relationships... Just that we take a 'goose...gander' (or equivalant for other preferences) approach to our entertainments...?

Elea -> RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? (8/4/2007 9:06:40 PM)
Everyone will have a different answer for this, entirely dependant on their personal reasons for percieving themselves as a 'Switch'. The only experience I have with the situation is of course personal, and in my case I'm labelled thusly because I actually enjoy serving - ideally on my knees, but I do surprisingly well standing over kneeling forms as well. ~Elea

Stephann -> RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? (8/4/2007 9:38:49 PM)
Hi kiyari, I think there's a couple of basic reasons for the term switch. Your question is one of them; sensationalists (so to speak) or what I usually term as fetishists, though I know the term isn't very accurate, without the desire for the power exchange dynamic. There are, of course, folks who enjoy D/s, but also (depending on the person) enjoy assuming either a dominant or submissive role. I think goose and gander tends to be a somewhat selfish approach to relationships. In general, what is good for the goose, is not good for the gander. Different people have different needs and desires; requiring those needs to be exactly the same as my own, and only satisfying needs of my partner, if they are needs that I possess, seems to be an unrealistic approach. Not to say I don't appreciate the mentality that goes into a switch; just simple observations that I don't think it should be equality based, as much as it is equity based. Stephan

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? (8/4/2007 10:21:49 PM)
For me it is simply because I am who I am. I'm very boring in many ways. I don't do something just because it's there to do, or to prove something, or push limits. I do it because it's what is there to do and works for me.

kiyari -> RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? (8/4/2007 11:05:24 PM)
Well, for me, I know what I find to be positive or good or pleasurable or fun or... I am (much though I would it be otherwise) NOT a mind-reader or sufficient empath to truly KNOW what my partner's experience is SO, going on what I know to some degree: my own senses... and wanting to give my partner a rewarding experience... from this springs my goose...gander All with best of intent ;-)

Stephann -> RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? (8/4/2007 11:20:56 PM)
This is where communication becomes critical (something you'll get used to hearing.) I'm not a mind reader, either. I enjoy total power exchange relationships; a slave in my collar doesn't have any 'right' to expect anything. Yet, it's still important to me, to know what she needs, wants, desires, etc. So I ask her. She asks me. It works. I follow you though; I just thought it worth pointing out that when we focus too heavily on our own sensations, fetishes, and kinks, it's easy to lose sight that our partner may have slightly (or vastly) different needs, et al. Stephan

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