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Rocky road from switch to sub... - 7/1/2005 7:39:25 AM

BigEyes

Posts: 155
Joined: 6/13/2005
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After a lot of learning I'm seriously considering whether the sub role is what I'm really looking for, but I have a few trepidations. I'm worried that I'm too independant and 'feisty' for want of a better word. Has anyone else felt like this and what was the outcome? Has anyone commited themselves to being submissive only to realise they were wrong?

Thank you! Big Eyes

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RE: Rocky road from switch to sub... - 7/1/2005 7:42:47 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BigEyes

After a lot of learning I'm seriously considering whether the sub role is what I'm really looking for, but I have a few trepidations. I'm worried that I'm too independant and 'feisty' for want of a better word. Has anyone else felt like this and what was the outcome?

It's very common with a variety of outcomes.
However, being too independent and feisty is not the same as not being submissive. I am owned, and absolutely obedient to the Owner. However, I am expected to be responsible and behave as an independent adult, I have my own relationships, I have a job, I have bills to pay. The Owner expects me to take responsibilities to make his life easier. In this sense, being independent is an asset.

The feistiness could be a problem if you feel it causes disobedience or trouble. But this too can be adapted and disciplined so that it becomes an asset to your submission. What helps here is finding a compatible partner for your personality.

quote:

Has anyone commited themselves to being submissive only to realise they were wrong?

Thank you! Big Eyes

All the time.

(in reply to BigEyes)

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RE: Rocky road from switch to sub... - 7/1/2005 8:01:23 AM

flowerchild

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/28/2005
From: Canada
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I have to agree with emerald, this is the same in my relationship. My Master requires me to be independant, most of the time we look like your average vanilla couple, but that all changes when we are alone. I'm 100% sub, I have tried to be a switch, but I'm just not forceful enough, I'm too polite! ;) In my opinion independance will not hinder submission, just my $0.02 worth! ;)

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Wildly my mind beats against you, yet my soul obeys.

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(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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RE: Rocky road from switch to sub... - 7/1/2005 12:35:50 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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Ahhh, if I had a dime for every sub who had a feisty side.....Well, I'd own my own dungeon.

Every submissive is a unique individual, as is every dominant. It really isn't any different than in any walk of life. There are dominants who will enjoy your personality, and others who won't.

Variety is always the spice of life!

Be yourself and you will find like-minded souls you click with.

Cin

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Cin

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RE: Rocky road from switch to sub... - 7/2/2005 6:30:52 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
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Hello There,
I too have been told I'm such an alpha oriented person in conversations that I'm trying to top from the bottom. While some Dom's don't like a strong woman, others love it. To have a strong, independant person who has their own ideas and desires override their own desires and fully submit your will is a bigger gift than someone more mousy or doormat prone. I feel a good sub should be adorned like a fine gem. To utelize their strengths can only add to your own glow.
I'll explain it this way, if you were a Dom would you rather have a trained sheep that just waits for you to herd them somewhere, or a trained tiger that could tear you limb from limb that obeys you out of loyalty, trust and devotion? I find I'm the tigress who willingly jumps through any hoop for my Master and at the same time he knows if I'm submitting to something out of joy or just devotion.
It's funny, you're dominant trying your hand at being a sub, and I'm a sub who's decided also to try being a switch to see if I have the desire to be a domme.
Good Luck finding your joy the way you need it in this life, and bravo for trying the other side.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to BigEyes)

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RE: Rocky road from switch to sub... - 7/2/2005 1:27:21 PM

wednesday

Posts: 93
Joined: 6/21/2005
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Depends on the person you attempt the change with, I guess.

In my current relationship, what appeals to him is my "switch" nature. Because I am not, as he says, "100% submissive" it means that we can be active friends. By that I mean that when we have conversations he knows I will never pull punches or deferr to him just because of our dynamic. He WANTS me to speak my mind, be my own person, and be his equal. The fact that he assumes the dominant role sexually, well... that doesn't trivialize the power of my submission... if that makes any sense... And in fact, he feels that much more dominant because I am such a strong person, and he is able to make me submit to him