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Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/18/2004 3:01:26 AM

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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A post on the "ask a Mistress forum" piqued my curiousity. My question is aimed at all Dominants (though obviously anyone who wishes to respond is welcomed.) Have you ever been involved in a relationship with another Dominant, either lifestyle or naturally? Did it work out? If so, would you do so again? If you haven't, would you consider it, and under what circumstances?

When I was introduced to the lifestyle, it was by a friend who was professional Dominatrix - who generally preferred dominant vanilla men for her personal life. I later dated her sister who occasionally did work as a Dominatrix as well but was generally submissive to me in the relationship. The relationship didn't last long term for non-BDSM reasons, but it was never a question of who belonged in what role and what our responsibilities were.

Looking forward to responses!

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/18/2004 5:46:11 AM

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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Hello,

I work at a job where the man is supposed to be deferential to the lead female instructor, and tend to interact quite well with Dominant women. I would consider a relationship with a Dominant woman but we would have to negotiate the details because my approach to being a Dominant is based on actions rather than words. I would not expect her to switch, she would have to know I am not going to either, and the relationship would be a partnership of equals both bringing something to the table and meeting somewhere in the middle.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/18/2004 11:19:30 AM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am a Alpha Poly Dominant Female
Whom was Married to Two Alpha Dominant
Men at the same tiime. The first lasted 27
years befor His Passing and the second started
10 years into the First relationship and lasted 15
allmost 16 years befor His passing as well. We
CoDommed and All had slaves whom served
Under Us with sum of the slaves being personally
Owned By Us or CoOwned by the Three of Us. I
did not suplicant to Them but Respected Them as
Men in what I feel is a natural Order of Men to
Woman. I as a Dominant Woman would only Mate
with a Dominant Man for I desire to keep the Dominant
side of Me alive. This does not take away from My Own
Dominance but compliments it as well as Mine to
Theirs. I Own several Businesses where I have
many Men whom are My Employees and I have
No issue Directing Them in Their daily chores
regardless of Their natural role in Life. I have
brought into the world 8 children all but one whom
are also Very Dominant and All but One Lifestyle
by choice. I can tell You that I have spent the
past 7 years now tempting to replace the Dominant
Men I lost and have Not been successfull in such a
endeavor. Dominant Men whom have no Issue with
Dominant Woman nor threatened by Them are far
and inbetween or They simply do not accept a Woman
whom is Dominant period and concider Us Infearior.
JMO from My Life Living.

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/18/2004 11:30:16 AM

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Joined: 2/6/2004
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No, I would not consider a relationship, other than friendship with a Dom. As I have tried both vanilla dominant males, and D/s Doms to see socially. I know I cannot mmmm, tone down my personality to make a long term or even short term relationship more than semi miserable for both of us. I hope you get an enjoyable mix of responses. Be safe, Tess

< Message edited by Sundew02 -- 6/18/2004 11:33:10 AM >

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

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RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/18/2004 1:47:19 PM

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Joined: 6/16/2004
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This one has a hard time taking pro Dommes seriously... I am Dom because its something in my heart /soul/a very part of my being ~ although there are a few Pros with longevity most women who are get burnt out in about 2 - 3 years time ... Although there is give and take in any relationship the truth of the matter is there Is always one who has the alph position ... Personally ... Its me ... Left a marriage for this very reason ~ There can be only one head of a household ... weather its Dom or Dommee ~ ... Have had a few Dommees submit to me in my time ... The thought of switching for this one brings a pit of anger and upset to my stomach ...For those that enjoy it ..cudos to you ....

TopAngle~

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/18/2004 3:21:04 PM

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From: Scotland/Tennessee
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I know that there are co-dominant relationships that work. At least I've read about one or two, lol. I suppose I have too many things working against the possibility of that for me. I am Scottish, I am a Scorpio, and I am naturally dominant. My Great Grandmother was dominant, my Grandmother, my Mother...and my Father, all dominant. It would be like putting two bulls in a kitchen. lol And I'd win, because I always do. I am the POWAH!!!

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Topangle)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/19/2004 1:58:58 AM

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From: Las Vegas NV
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I pesonally wouldn't mind being in a relationship with a Dominant as long as we could tag team. I haven't found that one yet, but I try to keep an open mind. I think it could work, but as far as switching I dont think that's for me.

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D/s makes the world go round~~
www.Domina.ms/love

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/19/2004 8:15:10 AM

confusetheswede

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From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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i feel as though pyschially, i am submissive to who is "incontrol", but rather in my mind i control them, and allow them to think they own me. i have control from the beginning, genernally, because it's easier to end it if you always had the control in the first place. i do this, to help keep my man's ego in place and to maintain the realtionship, because two Dom's can never be happy with eachother.

_____________________________

The Scorpio with hazel eyes.

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/19/2004 10:19:39 AM

perverseangelic

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From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: confusetheswede
two Dom's can never be happy with eachother.

though i am not a dominant, i must disagree. i know several M/F dominant couples and one M/M one. they are pretty darn happy with each other.

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/19/2004 4:27:34 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

This thread has made me start questioning just what it is I want in my life. I have always considered my primary sexuality to be dominant, and just assumed that my life partner would be submissive. Yet there has always been a part of me that feels Master slave relationships aren't really indefiniately sustainable. There comes a point where the Master has no more to teach, and the relationship slips into vanilla comfort, or what passes for it.

Perhaps what I need is a Domme who understands my desires, not a slave that fulfills them. We could co-top our way to happiness...something to consider at least.

Yours,
Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/19/2004 4:38:32 PM

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My interest is in the human. They tend to come in all shapes, sizes, colors, genders, ends of the d/s spectrum, etc.

If I am interested in someone then I am also interested in their needs and wants. If this is a submissive someone then we fashion a relationship that works for both of us around those dynamics. If this is a dominant someone then we fashion a relationship that works for both of us around those dynamics.

The only exception that I can think of, for me personally, is that I do not want the submission of someone who is actively dominating someone else. Personal preference.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/19/2004 5:15:52 PM

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I would "tag team" with topcat.....(Just to get a view of that ass)

lol

Mod3

picks up her handbasket and walks up to topcat..;)

*ya know I am just playing right..... or maybe I'm not ;)

< Message edited by ModeratorThree -- 6/19/2004 5:19:44 PM >

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 6:55:21 AM

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

The Scorpio with hazel eyes

Hrm, not the only one. ;)

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 7:06:11 AM

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quote:

two Dom's can never be happy with eachother.

I strongly disagree with this statement. Two Dominant people can find happiness in that they both know and understand each others wants and or needs. Are most typically in control of themselves and seek to find happiness for each other, because they undertand the needs of the other better than a sub/slave. Plus they get the benifit of discussing what it is they need without feeling like they are explaining to someone that has not the understanding of how a Dom/me ticks. I think these relationships can make for a great friendship.

Hope that makes sense.

Mod3

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 9:47:55 AM

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I don't think it would work for me unless I were not emotionally attached to the other person...and in my own case, then why would I be involved? I prefer a loving DS relationship all around. I can certainly "play" with someone, but when we are talking about long term, I want to be "in love" (for lack of a better description) with my partner. I say from experience that for me, it's the absolute best way to practice this art. You don't have to be to love it, but for me, it's the ultimate.

Going from that perspective, (and I believe all of you probably have figured out that although I switch, I lean much more toward the submissive end of the crop)....I think I would feel a natural inclination to submit rather than meet the dominant on equal terms as a dominant female. That also brings to mind another topic which I will put under separate heading...but I don't think that a dom/dom relationship would work for me.

I will add, it's a great way to learn and do some practicing, however.

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 10:17:32 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Hell, I'd do just about anything to get a look at that ass...(reviews my limits list)

giggles...he's famous now. I don't think he'll ever live those snow angels down.

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 11:19:04 AM

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I agree. Lawrence really is a nice chap...

January

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[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

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RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 11:34:00 AM

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another thread turns to ass.....lol

;)

Mod3

(in reply to January)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 12:47:22 PM

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Joined: 1/11/2004
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::trying to keep a perfectly straight face::

Yeah, but if all us keep talking about how hot Lawrence's ass makes us, we may give him a *swelled head*,,,,, or two :)

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

RE: Dominant Male & Female Relationships? - 6/20/2004 1:05:40 PM

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

This thread has made me start questioning just what it is I want in my life. I have always considered my primary sexuality to be dominant, and just assumed that my life partner would be submissive. Yet there has always been a part of me that feels Master slave relationships aren't really indefiniately sustainable. There comes a point where the Master has no more to teach, and the relationship slips into vanilla comfort, or what passes for it.

Perhaps what I need is a Domme who understands my desires, not a slave that fulfills them. We could co-top our way to happiness...something to consider at least.

These are exactly the sorts of questions I asked myself from time to time over the past couple years. Like Suz, I don't necessarily believe that a person's professed Dominant or submissive nature is as vital as their compatibility in other areas, i.e. intellectual and emotional tastes, as well as a penchant for an aggressive perspective on life.

When I was a kid, if someone gave me a piece of candy - as soon as the candy was in my mouth, my next thought was "where's the box this came from, I want the whole thing." I would prefer someone who has the same mentality, that they wish to enjoy everything they can from life - not to over excess mind you (I don't mean the 10 pound box, just the three pounder) and the thrill isn't necessarily the candy, but the innocent persuit of life - without fear of reprisal for what our tastes are.

As to the 'tag team' issue, I've enjoyed that sort of interaction before - a Domme and I were with a novice sub, and it was VERY hot. This only works if everyone involved is comfortable in sharing (I think) though.

Again, I think it all comes down to "what is really important to you?" For me, being happy far outweighs any notion I have of 'Being a Dominant.' I will always be Dominant - but this doesn't mean I need to sleep next to, marry, or love a submissive. It just means I have to know who I am, and enjoy what I do have.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

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