LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear BitaTruble, Ladies and Gentlemen;
First, thank you for asking questions and expanding on my thoughts, opinions, observations which are based on my personal experiences.
The thoughts of more similar stances of 'my way' and or 'the way' is on the 'belief' system which I find individuals utter their statements from. Some respond from personal belief system(s) which are the summary of where people's personal experiences come to head and expressed. And, the similar stance of "the way" is, also a belief --however it is more than belief on just a personal aspect but, as something that is 'tried and true' as to create uniformity. I take Math, as simple adding, subtraction, division and multiplication can only be done in only one way and or 'the way.' No matter what teacher I had -- simple math was --the way. [Chuckles].
With BDSM and or other variations, beyond the basic it really becomes very personal to which won't be uniformed and attempting to make it uniformed like Simple Math will fail; as it is with the preacher in the pulpit in my church can 'preach/teach' what 'the way' of that religion, etc., but--as I listen, it is up to me to make the final choice as to how to 'take' the preaching, teaching and or lecturing of what this or that of religion is and or should be. I see still, it is just one person expressing passionately of what 'they' believe is 'the way and their version of my way.' No matter how much passion and or statement of fact that any person may utter--I have to make a personal judgment call on what I am hearing. Another factor to which I consider, is that no matter what area in society, civilization, religion and 'how to'--I understand my own human nature as to have my own prejudices, bias, pre-determined ideas, philosophies, etc. I am certain all individuals have their own--But, how I absorb topics, discussions and or debates is with the expectation that all things will be the expression of the individual themself. No matter how many advice books are written on living life and or living good--it hasn't wiped out everybody's struggles to achieve 'living good.' And, how one determines what 'living good' is general and with all of us, we have general ideas of what 'is' and what it is 'not'--but, we're all different on how we come by our ideas, goals and the solutions. Because "A" and "B" come from a person/individual -- it is not the same weight as society, civilization, government, administration and or law.
I think discussions like this helps others to understand that approaches to how people read topics on these threads cover a broad range. I try to take the personnal out of topics and just see the facts at it's face. Ingredients if you will. This is why I do not take anything personal until it is an obvious attack on a person and/or my person; and or how they may deliver their thoughts from heart, mind, spirit and or emotions onto text. Absent of face to face, I tend to be extremely keen to try understanding what may be expressed. I do understand that not all those who post have the fluid use of American English and or English. I do understand the aspects of how Dyslexia causes a scrambling which can appear as 'unintelligent and or crude/rude' expressions. I do believe in my heart, that being kind and patient with others is a strength--not a weakness.
As to disagree with my statement, that passionate expression of faith, such as in religion and or what someone feels about something, boils down to me as a 'belief.' From belief comes opinions and some can be expressed as fact. That is what makes a great example of what is the point I am attempting to make. With society, civilization, religion and or politics; we are in general being 'talked to' much in a manner of 'the only way' and or 'the way' and or 'the only true way.' Much like 'true this or that.' That said; where this approach fails, is when there is a inquiry as to how such 'truth' came to be. Most times it goes back to personal belief and or opinions. In addition, how 'my way is the only true way, etc.,' is seen to me as an incomplete statement--which I mentally chalk in '...for them.' Perhaps some may see it as a way I keep things from getting into the area of encroaching on my powers as an individual and independent of bully tactics and or prejudices.
As with Simple Math, there is 'only one way' of teaching that. However, depending on an individual teacher's style -- it can be dictator like, to which how problem solving techniques can be achieved however, those who take a different vein in styles of teaching to 'inspire' their students makes, in my personal opinion, a lasting impression and can carry over into other areas of life.
As to a specific statement of where a man, for an example, states as 'fact' that all women are submissive to men and Dominant women are just waiting for a man to "master" them; I feel that such are entitled to their prejudice/bias and beliefs. I am sure many people will agree and just as many that will disagree. What is of interest to me though, is how that man came to their prejudice and or beliefs. I tend to be interested in the person as a human being and to understand where the roots of that person's belief, bias, etc. stem from. Not be so focused on the baggage and or the hate.
Having had men, especially Heterosexual men --have an open prejudice against women who were dominant, I have personally lived through. The shoves, the spitting, the sabatoge, the thefts, the personal assaults and threats. But, that was in the 1970's. The attitude still exists today but, not in so many obvious ways as when I came through the lifestyle in the '70s. It was no different for the military--men hated to see women 'want' to serve in combat--or just given the chance to try. The same prejudices existed in other areas, like law enforcement, fire department and ambulance/EMT areas women wanted to serve in. The same "male" prejudices existed there as did the lifestyle. It made it twice as difficult to do things however, it just pounded the iron per se, into a more determined force and power. I took the quiet route, to which I just tucked all the experiences inside and just bear the time. And, I will add--not all women carried themselves well and spread their legs to gain. However, for those of us who knew what we did would effect every woman who followed in the military, in male dominated roles and such in the future; gave me resolve as much as it gave me patience. I have kept the same thought in the lifestyle. There were military men who were more open minded and were extremely fair. Some took a lot of heat for their belief in women having a place in an 'all man's military.' The same with the lifestyle. However, the men who were most fair with me, were Gay Leathermen. They were not easy by any means but, it was a means of weeding those who were not the quality of person they wanted in their personal circles. Perhaps it was the exclusion of 'sex' and or 'gender;' Again, I am in the frame of the 1970's and early 1980's. Since the lifestyle has evolved and networking more efficient, there have been many more open minded Heterosexual men about. I also feel, an opinion if you will, that those who didn't crumble into submission and maintained a polite manner, that did not try to become 'male' and maintained their nature, faired well. I am a Dominant and I do not have to convince anyone that I am, especially face to face. I just take a different approach to how I see things and react to it. Having been unfairly treated, I know how it changed me as an individual but, I don't harbor the hate or reverse prejudice--as I see how negitive it reflects on those who are hateful. What has happened then, in the military, the lifestyle and or para-military areas of life for women; is that women are still subjected to male prejudices and domineering factors. How I react, for me, determines how much control I give them and or powers I allow them. Statements as fact and or opinions do not bother me, even their prejudices; until it is a direct threat on me as an individual and my personal/physical welfare and or health.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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