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how many subs/doms you met before you found your sub/dom? - 8/7/2007 9:06:33 PM

ablackstar

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Im a sub, I have met about 15 doms from the website, but still no result...
Im wondering if its normal...
what's your experience like?

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/7/2007 9:09:50 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

I have met in the last 4 years.. OVER 40 people, few I had relatiosnhips with.

Its hit and miss, just like a vanilla relationship. You have to kiss a lot of frongs before you find prince charming. I lucked out, MJ was a great friend all along, so my Master Charming, was in my backyard most of the time.

Keep looking and stay positive. Their is no 'magic' number, heck, stop looking, thats when you actually find. Good luck.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/7/2007 9:11:34 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I had met many many people before I found Angel. Some from the site, some not. Over my years of experience in the lifestyle, Id say I met about 40-60 people easily. And thats JUST the lifestylers. I had relationships with some, and just met and moved on from others. Angel was my first collar ever, and he was collared Sept of 06. So, yes its perfectly common to meet a lot of people before finding your match.
I met quite a few after Angel before I found Kitten as well, theres almost never a quick fix. And sometimes, you decide to reevaluate someone who didnt click as well as youd like the first time, and things work out better on a second try. I am meeting with a boy shortly where this is the case. Just keep looking until something feels right. Eventually, it will.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/7/2007 9:12:01 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

When I was single and seeking I placed an ad in the LA Weekly personals section (before CM):

In 4 weeks I received about 160 responses. Out of 160 responses, I responded to about 25. Out of 25 I chose to meet about 10 for coffee. Out of 10, I chose to go out on a date with 1.

So, I would say that meeting 15 and not finding a match isn't out of the realm.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/7/2007 9:28:05 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ablackstar

Im a sub, I have met about 15 doms from the website, but still no result...
Im wondering if its normal...
what's your experience like?

I've met about 8 or so as potential doms --only a couple of them from this site. A few more from aol. Two materialized into relationships. And most of the others remain friends.
Ive recently begun talking again with one of the dominant males that I met here about 2-3 years ago. We met back then and had a really fun dinner date. Seems the timing wasn't right for us when we met back then; we were both looking for different things and both going through different phases of our lives. But we had a lot in common and had a lot of fun together. We've both changed and evolved into slightly different people than we were back then, and we are talking again lately, and plan on getting together very shortly to see if there are any possibilities. At the very least, Im sure we will rekindle our friendship.

I would say don't be too discouraged, you have to kiss an awful lot of frogs.....

< Message edited by marieToo -- 8/7/2007 9:29:45 PM >

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/7/2007 9:45:55 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Umm I've met hundreds over the years...but I go to a lot of parties and conventions so I can meet a dozen a day or more.

If you keep doing the same thing, you'll get the same result. While you're going to have to sift through a lot, try and refine your early antennae reception.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to marieToo)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/8/2007 7:57:46 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Before I met the only woman I have collared I went through about a half dozen women, none of them serious. I collared her the first night we played and spent three drama filled years with her.

My previous relationship I had known her for some time and went through a few woman and met a hundred or so at parties and such.

The woman I am with now I swear I have looked for all my life. I found a bit of erotica I wrote about the time I entered the scene and it is an odd piece with elements you would not normally combine and yet she IS that rare combination as if I knew she was out there all along. I have been with physically about 60 some women, known many many more quite intimately, while not the event slut that LA is I have been to many many large bdsm events and nobody has ever grabbed my soul, my attention, my loins like she has. We have even shared a dream together, not obliquely but in as dramatic a way as humanly possible. I have gone places with her I could never imagine going and she has done the same for me. The path in front of us is difficult, we have had difficulties but we work WITH each other to overcome them, never against each other.

I am home, I have found my center, the woman I desire to spend the rest of my life with. I am 42, I have fucked up many a relationship but I have strived to learn from those mistakes. She is far from perfect as am I. However, she IS perfect for me.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/8/2007 6:42:34 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

In the five years I've been searching on and off, I'd say I've met about 15 people. I've had coffee or a dinner date with 4 from mIRC, probably 5-6 from collarme, and some I've met through friends. My "one" I met a few months ago through a vanilla dating site on-line. It's true, in my case, that when I stopped looking I found him.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/9/2007 4:01:43 AM

tricia

Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

One. You gotta love fate.

(We've been together a little over two years.)

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/9/2007 4:44:31 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

In the search that I have recently concluded (since my last relationship), all of the women that I physically met were from another service. I'm going to guess that that number was around 10-ish.

I joined here about a year-and-a-half ago, but decided not to meet anyone until/unless I thought there was something compelling. I did get quite fortunate in that regard. So, one from here.

My partner had met one person from another service as well, but there wasn't enough D/s there to suit her taste, I don't believe. I was only the 2nd person she had physically met.

This past weekend we moved me down to South Florida for, well, 'forever' we hope.

Good luck to you.
Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/9/2007 4:56:53 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I really dont think theres a magic number. I believe you find who you were meant to find.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/9/2007 5:59:43 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

how many subs/doms you met before you found your sub/dom?

none

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Are we having fun, yet?

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/9/2007 8:32:42 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

One, we've been together four years now.

However I did all the hard work on myself and figuring out my needs before I started looking. I was clear about my no ways and my must haves. And I was ruthless about not settling. If someone wasn't right then I didn't bother going any further. And I talked to him exhaustively online before agreeing to phone and then exhaustively on the phone before meeting.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/10/2007 4:03:19 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

i joined this site feb 16 of this year.... i met face-to-face with 4 dominants. Sir contacted me towards the end of febuary, begining of march. we decided in mid-march that we would see where this leads....

to a collar, apparently. *smiles*

kitten

(in reply to Celeste43)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/10/2007 4:59:33 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ablackstar

Im a sub, I have met about 15 doms from the website, but still no result...
Im wondering if its normal...
what's your experience like?

My experience? We found each other at a college party but were never single at the same time for several years. During that time I kissed some frogs and did a lot of growing. Some good, some bad and got some growing pains as well. But I wouldn't take back the search, the wait or the misery because it's made me who I am today - someone that Valyraen, for reasons I still don't completely understand, is in love with. And that's worth every damn tear I cried along the way.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ablackstar)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/10/2007 1:02:26 PM

greeneyes1962

Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline

Me: 2 play partners who I knew would be nothing serious, and two years ago, when I met
Master, he was to be nothing more than a play partner as well. However, lightning struck,
and here I am, in a M/s relationship I wasn't seeking.

I got increadibly lucky two years ago.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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RE: how many subs/doms you met before you found your su... - 8/10/2007 6:23:24 PM

YourShyPet

Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ablackstar

Im a sub, I have met about 15 doms from the website, but still no result...
Im wondering if its normal...
what's your experience like?

Have yet to even speak to one person that even gives off the illusion of being a dominant on this website... I've met one Dom person in my going on 16 years of offline... real life experiences in the lifestyle... what's normal???

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kittin

http://www.myspace.com/daddys_kittin

(in reply to ablackstar)

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