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cuddleheart50 -> Submissive men (8/10/2007 8:51:35 PM)

I was talking with a girlfriend today and we started talking about submissive men...she said they only want Dominant women, and I disagreed...I would love to hear your opinion.



RaynaSub -> RE: Submissive men (8/10/2007 8:54:30 PM)

Many of the submissive men online want whomever they can get.
Half of my email has always been from submissive men.
Also, many men online are submissive one month and Dominant the next month.



Saint -> RE: Submissive men (8/10/2007 8:58:04 PM)

Well of course, not to sound shallow but if a woman isnt Dominant than she is generally boring to me in a relationship sense. I make enough decisions in my everyday life that the last thing I want to do is make them in a relationship. It is what it is. It is not a negative thing to want to serve a Dominant person. I guess it would be best to say that I dont like feeling dominant myself with a partner and most non-Dominant women make me feel that way.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Submissive men (8/10/2007 9:48:20 PM)

LOL she kinda forgot about all the homosexuals I guess.

And there are sub/sub couples and poly situations for certain.

Tell her to remember that if you can think of it, it exists, and very happily, and not be so quick to deny what humans can find fulfillment in.



SusanofO -> RE: Submissive men (8/10/2007 10:52:02 PM)

I know there is such a thing as sub-sub (hetero and homsexual) couples, but I mostly figure that although these folks genuinely probably do care for and maybe love eachother a lot, that they maybe got together before one realized the other was a submissive, and that their solution is that both get to be Dominated by others (or whatever). Maybe not, I could be wrong about that.

I am not saying that I don't think a submissive (hetero) man couldn't find a submissive or Vanilla female attractive, and maybe even want to have sex with her, and appreciate her as a person (a hetero or homosexual male submissive), etc. - But IMO, if a submissive man says he doesn't want to Dominate you, I think he should be taken seriously.

A man I am currently interested in is submissive, and he is aware I am a Switch. He has no desire whatsoever to Dominate me, and I am not going to request that of him. He knows I will eventually probably need to find an outlet for my desire to be occasionally Dominated, and he is okay with that.

- Susan 



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Submissive men (8/10/2007 10:55:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

I was talking with a girlfriend today and we started talking about submissive men...she said they only want Dominant women, and I disagreed...I would love to hear your opinion.


for me, this is true. i certainly don't want a Dominant Male (or any male, for that matter). also, i am open to friendships with fem subs.



chiaThePet -> RE: Submissive men (8/10/2007 11:43:59 PM)

Rosalind Russell said,

"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death"

i have no intention of starving to death!

i am a submissive for many, many reasons and seek Dominants of Difference
for many, many reasons, even a submissive or two might catch my eye.

Michael, Michael, Michael! (Just kidding dude, we know, we know)

chia* (the pet) 



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Submissive men (8/10/2007 11:49:52 PM)

huh?



KatyLied -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 7:35:34 AM)

Many sub men want anyone they can get.  I can't tell you the number of times I've received email such as "I'd switch for you."  "I can switch."  "I can be dom, really."  It smacks of desperation and is such a turnoff.  I wonder if they know how it looks when they make those sorts of comments to female subs.



e01n -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 7:51:25 AM)

Looking through the previous posts, I think Susan's probably the most accurate of the reality of RL relationships: my experience has been that things will seek their own level without much effort and I'm at my best by staying flexible about what needs to happen next. If it feels right, do it... and if it doesn't, wait until it does.

I only identify as switch because no one really offers a checkbox that says the above...

NB: I'm referring to real life human males. Online's a different story. Sounds like KatyLied has encountered more than a few Horny Net Guys sans clue... It's a stupid song they sing, but every word they sing is true. They WOULD compromise themselves to an untenable position because they've built up getting laid to the point of being the pinnacle of human experience. And the results are utterly disastrous...

Just my $0.02



Mercnbeth -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 8:05:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50
...I would love to hear your opinion.



it has been this slave's experience that generalizations make a distinctive sucking sound, as they pave the path of those who follow The One True Way.[:)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 8:07:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet
Rosalind Russell said,

"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death"

It should be clarified that the incomparably fabulous Rosalind said that line while playing the divine Auntie Mame, and not as a personal statement.



arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 8:38:04 AM)

Many of the submisive men I come across are married to women who are not dominant.  And most of those women are not submissive either.



cuddleheart50 -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 8:47:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Many sub men want anyone they can get.  I can't tell you the number of times I've received email such as "I'd switch for you."  "I can switch."  "I can be dom, really."  It smacks of desperation and is such a turnoff.  I wonder if they know how it looks when they make those sorts of comments to female subs.


Katy, I get alot of the same mail from submissive men, saying they would switch for me.  And it is a turnoff. 



twistedkytten -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 9:23:41 AM)

i lived for a while with a Dominant Woman.. we used to laugh because i would recieve an email from a male that was dominant, She would recieve an email from the same, swearing he was submissive... on few occassions i would come home finding them ass up and begging.. which never bothered me.. *g*



pollux -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 9:53:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Many sub men want anyone they can get.  I can't tell you the number of times I've received email such as "I'd switch for you."  "I can switch."  "I can be dom, really."  It smacks of desperation and is such a turnoff.  I wonder if they know how it looks when they make those sorts of comments to female subs.


Good grief, as if sub men had somehow cornered the market on desperation around here.

Would you like me to forward all the email I've received from sub women who mention that they're now ready to explore their dominant side?  Or from dominant women who say that being on top can be exhausting and they wouldn't mind a little detour into submission or bottoming from time to time?  Just to recharge?

HEAVEN FORFEND people want to step out of CollarMe's six designated pigeonholes for everyone to explore something new, or to engage someone who they find is an attractive human being.  Or that -- NEWSFLASH!! STOP THE PRESSES!! -- there are wounded, desperate people here, too.



shyboy66 -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 10:01:01 AM)


FMany sub men want anyone they can get.  I can't tell you the number of times I've received email such as "I'd switch for you."  "I can switch."  "I can be dom, really."  It smacks of desperation and is such a turnoff.  I wonder if they know how it looks when they make those sorts of comments to female subs

Funny, I thought it was more the other way - dom men subbing for the 'Right' Domme....  as for me, i've so far had 4 lovely femsubs approach me in the hope that i'd be a dom to them (r/l., not on CM) - and in two of those case i would have if i could have... unfortunately there's not a dom bone in this body and i'm proud of it :) .





DiurnalVampire -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 10:10:12 AM)

The comment wasnt saying that there ARENT the same responses rom the sub women. Cuddles specifically mentioned sub men, so that was the concentration. I have gotten messages from Domme women and Dom men asking to sub for me. I have gotten messages from sub men asking to sub for me, and offering to Dom Angel if it would make me happy, or sub to Angel if thats what I wanted.
What a Dominant or a submissive wants in the realm of BDSM and what they might want in a relationship do not have to match. Many subs I know prefer a romantic connection with a fellow sub, or a vanilla with no connection to the lifestyle. They are not full time submissives and dont really wish to be, so they dont want to be in a relationship with someone who IS in that role constantly. There are a lot of submissive men who are only sub when the mood strikes them, not all the time. When they want to play, they do want a Dominant woman (usually) but not as a regular thing.  I also know a few who can only sub to a stronger Dominant Man, even though they are straight. When they are sexually aroused, they cant be submissive, so they seek to serve someone they have no sexual interest in.
It takes all kinds.
DV



Einzelganger -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 12:16:38 PM)

I seriously doubt that everyone who claims to be a male sub really is a male sub.  It never ceases to amaze me how many guys I've met claim to be real subs, knowing full well they're lying, just for the sake of getting kinky sex.  In my humble opinion, it's stealing to lie for the sake of one's own selfish pleasures without taking the other individual's feelings, time, or needs into consideration.  But maybe that's just me.

-Einzelgänger



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Submissive men (8/11/2007 12:20:43 PM)

well, not all men are out for sex. if this were the case, i would just pay a PRO and be done with it. but my submission is very real.



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