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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 7/4/2005 4:17:09 AM

zaynab

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, I don't know the technical language, but are Debbie's friends real or imagined?

real.
My entire life, i've had so many people come up and greet me as Debbie. I would tell them my name is not Debbie and they are mistaking me for someone else. After about 15 times over the years, I started thinking it was just one of those bizarre quirks of fate....
but when i became an adult... and it still kept happening... the people would look confused when i said i wasnt Debbie, and did not know them at all, some would get mad, mumble something and walk away....

best example of all... one guy, about 25 and not bad looking either... greeted me as Debbie... I denied being Debbie... he gave me a quizzical look, then got a big sly grin... then said.... "oh ok, well i guess you must be up to something to have a double life!"
i had no idea what he was talking about and thought he was nuts.... lol

after diagnosis, digging around in my past and scant memory, i suddenly remembered that when i was 10 years old, i used to write some girl as penpals, but I used the name Debbie and told her I had a palomino horse named Sunshine...

i have been an honest person my entire life, so i was shocked recollecting that i had lied to that pen pal about my name... i mean, why would I lie about my name? i also dont have a horse. *sighhhhh ~ zay

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 7/4/2005 4:21:12 AM

zaynab

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, I don't know the technical language, but are Debbie's friends real or imagined?

The way I understanding it, the host body was in fuge state, Debbie was in control of it, made physical friends while controlling the body. (Correct me if I'm wrong Zaynab) So, friends are corporeal, and made friends w/ Debbie while she ran the body. Zaynab wasn't aware that she'd -not- been in control.

yes that is exactly correct, and thank god she didnt screw anyone....oops, sorry

this condition is not really rare, friends.... it's quite common.... that's why they gave it a new name.... because they've learned so much about it.... trying to get people to snap out of the "Sybil" movie days, because she was only one person with DID and all DID people are different same as all you "singletons" hahaha

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 7/4/2005 4:25:57 AM

zaynab

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

If that's the case, then--forgive me for sounding naive--isn't it extremely dangerous to "make friends" with people who don't realize that you're another person's fugue-state alter ego?

extremely dangerous.....
that's why we have to follow a safety contract... it should be the very first requirement of any worthy DID therapist, that the multiple (DID person) make and have the alters sign a safety contract.....

top of the list is "harm no one and let no one harm you"
but my main rule for all of the alters is that we are not allowed to go anywhere with a stranger or go meet a stranger somewhere.....

i know you folks thinks this is wierd, and i agree it is... but there's a lot of wierd things that "normal" people do that is worse that what im describing here! lol

im used to missing weeks at a time... if i ever need to know the time, day, month or year, i have to ask someone.... even if i just asked someone an hour earlier, have to ask again.....

*sighhh..... but there are some pluses to this disorder...... a lot of them.... so im looking on the bright side and enjoying my alters.

oh, on the other side of the danger factor.... one reason the safety contract says not to harm others is because if someone makes my protective male alters alarmed or angry,
like if a person attacked me, my male alters could come out and really do some serious damage....

many DID people have great physical strength..... see what a nice semi-young woman i am in my picture? i've done such hard work and showed such great physical strength that many men had their mouths hanging open when they saw me do stuff like that. lol

< Message edited by zaynab -- 7/4/2005 4:42:05 AM >

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 7/4/2005 4:54:33 AM

zaynab

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Physical Evidence! LOL
wore glasses 3 different times in my life, had normal vision in between those times
i took my records to my doctor and asked specific questions... he said there is no way a person's vision can change like that, going back and forth

i shrunk 1 and a half inches in one year.... the next year, i had gotten an inch taller....
did i really get taller and shorter? no.... the alters all stand differently so it affects your height

medical problems.... "if you have these symptoms, it means somethings wrong with you, but we can't find anything wrong with you".
went to doctors for years when i had symptoms of an illness, they could never find anything, very frustrating.....

bottom line, after much testing and consulting with my DID therapist, my own GP, a Lupus specialist, an allergist, etc. etc. they ALL agreed that whatever symptoms of illness i have are from my alters switching.

i was furious. i would rather have a medical illness and get treatment for it or deal with it, than go through the rest of my life having symptoms of illnesses but they are only there when that alter is around? Aarrgghhhhh!!!!!

Drinking.... i used to be able to drink more than most men.... one night drank 3/4 of a bottle of vodka while i was preparing to go out with my sisters to party.....
3 years ago, i had 1 pina colada.... and ended up going to the emergency room...... thought i was dying....i was so sick.....

my therapist said that it was a child alter who got the affects of the alcohol....
so i put this to a test a month ago.....when i was thinking about it....
i asked my male alters to please absorb the alcohol so I could drink and get a nice buzz and not get sick....
i drank a ton and felt great, no hangover.....

a week later, i drank a lot again, but forgot to ask them to help me, ended up throwing up half the night and had a horrible hangover.....

goes on and on......

sure is interesting to me.....

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 8/1/2005 8:29:14 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Very interesting, Zaynab. I'm curious to read how it can relate to the BDSM lifestyle.

Cin

Cin............ why does it have to relate to BDSM?
i had breakfast Sunday am with an old friend...she not only is a survivor of DID (having endured ritualistic sexual abuse) but is also still in counseling and she and her husband have a ministry to survivovrs...she herself has written a book....as i have read the first one third of this book..... i find it VERY disturbing to want to connect this "disorder" to BDSM.

but i have read one profile of a slave girl who seems to fit everything my freind says in this book...subconsciously she is probably trying to find others to fit the perpetraters in her life becaue her alters enjoy it so much....

this is a TRULY sick and debilitating coping mechanism.

just my opinion....would you agree zay?

also i would venture to say this would be a form of PTSD that needs to be addresed by a professional before her alters find such a mean and sadistic bastard that will abuse her so badly she will die.
i dont think sadistic masters in this lifestyle lack such loathsome characteristics if they are genuine masters....but one can never tell.

this book has opened my eyes to not only the scope but the spiritual warfare that is also involved in DID

~~shy

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 8/1/2005 8:36:24 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab
I have received so many emails asking me for more information about this, mostly from distressed SO's, that I can't possibly reply to all of them individually... I'm hoping that this thread will be accepted as my intent to help all those who have inquired about this.

The book that my friend has written is called MULTIPLE IDENTITIES: Understanding and Supporting the Severely Abused.

It would be an EXCELLENT resource for SO's in how to support DID survivors.
If you want the book...the fax number to inquire about it is 540-249-9716 (i believe it is still current, if not get me on the other side and i will give more info on the book).

~~shy

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 8/1/2005 8:44:55 AM

slavedesires

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zay......i just read no alter has a full blown personality...do any of yours?

~~shy

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 8/1/2005 8:50:52 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Atavist

I've done a bit of reading on this topic recently. I found what appears to be a very good site for people with DID and their supporters: http://p199.ezboard.com/bcopingwithdissociativeidentitydisorder

This is a disorder that I was only vaguely familiar with not long ago. In reading about it I've learned that everyone to some degree "dissassociates" - ranging from common daydreaming to having distinct "personalities" that my be known or unknown consciously, although this appears to be rare.

I have no doubt that many people will find it hard to believe that such a psychological condition can exist. I would say to them that perhaps they don't have an appreciation for how amazingly complex and adaptable the human mind can be.

Imagine experiencing severe trauma(s) as a child and finding a child's coping mechanism - stepping out of the trauma psychologically (because they may not be able to escape physically) to escape the pain/horror. In effect, creating another internal reality or persona that offers some defense against the pain. A persona that can be neatly tucked away from consciousness when the threat has passed. Its not hard to imagine that a trauma of such magnitude would deeply embed specific emotions and behaviours for an entire lifetime and that these behaviours can continue to occur in adults (conditioned response), even if to the untrained or uncaring eye, they seem inappropriate or irrational.

Imagine the incredible beauty and richness in such a person that might be locked inside, perhaps in some cases, hidden even to themselves. I've also read that talk therapy is highly successful in helping people cope with DID, assuming they are willing to do the work.

yes...there is a thing called "highway hypnosis" which is disassociating while you drive...
i have done this..... i use to drive back and forth between Oshkosh and Racine (2 hr drive)
and i remember many times being home and not knowing how the hell i got home but i know where i was mentally. VERY scarey.

~~shy

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 8/1/2005 9:07:10 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

What are fugue states?

From Medicine.net
"Fugue state: An altered state of consciousness in which a person may move about purposely and even speak but is not fully aware. A fugue state is usually a type of complex partial seizure"

I've had friends describe it as like when you black out from drinking. You'll be moving, interacting, and doing thigns, but you'll have no awareness of the things you've done. Friend's who have experiened this say that they will "wake up" somewhere, and think that they've been alseep, but will later be told that they had been active and "awake" the whole time.

As i was reading about such things in this book..... i thought about subspace....
i have never entertained subspace.... and will not....i guess becasue subspace is so much like the fugue state for me...... no...dont want to intentionally go there

but then i dont need subspace likes others do...to fully surrender to my Dom...i consciously am aware of total surrender.

~~shy

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"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: What is DID/MPD? - 8/1/2005 9:17:20 AM

subcheryl

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slavesdesires, I have done that too and it scared the living daylites out of me, I use to work the 11pm -7am shift at a nursing home only about a mile drive from home, I remember getting in the car and starting it and then arriving at home and turning it off but I was so scared I didn't even say a thing to my mom and dad, they probably wouldn't let me drive aagain LOL is it DID to daydream so bad or get so ingrossed in a book you forget where you are , what you are doing, or even what you are to be doing, than come out of it and be toatally disorientated for the rest of the day. if so than I have it too not a whole lot but have had instances like these and put them down to daydreaming.

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