Sub Drop

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naughtinicki -> Sub Drop (7/3/2005 2:36:18 PM)
A little background first - My Master and I are married to different partners and although W/we play on a fairly regular basis ( 2/3 time a week), it is often for only a few hours at a time. This past week has been an experience that is very different in that W/we went away from Mon-Sat with some other BDSM friends to some holiday cottages well away from our home. This allowed me to be in as much of a TPE than I have ever had before in my journey of submission. I was able to do things that I have only dreamed about or read about in novels. This every day........ and most of the nights is something that I will never forget. But I am now home....... and back to reality......... and I find myself on the brink of tears nigh on constantly. The feeling of loss I feel is like nothing I have ever felt before. Hiding it from my family is becoming increasingly hard. Can I ask.......... Have others felt like this and does it happen often........ I have to admit still though that I would not take back a single moment of the past week.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 4:12:46 PM)
Oh yes, sub drop happens to a lot of us when we have some real intense play. You are not alone. I know the feeling of loss, of tears...and even though I tell myself everything is fine, it doesn't feel that way. But, knowing what causes it makes it easier for me to handle when it does happen. You have to imagine all the endorphins and adrenaline that were coursing through your system, and now they are leaving...so you are experiencing a drug withdrawal...At least that's how I have had it explained to me. Be gentle and kind to yourself...treat yourself to things that soothe you...I hear chocolate helps a lot of people...and hugs...get lots of hugs and cuddles from your partner. In time most of us learn to recognize the symptoms and to prepare for them. Cin

Lordandmaster -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 4:16:30 PM)
There have been several threads on subdrop. (And please, whoever it was last time, please don't remind me that threads are recycled all the time. I'm saying this so the OP can FIND THE OTHER THREADS.) I have no idea what causes subdrop, but virtually every sub I have ever had a relationship with has experienced it, sometimes quite intensely. The consensus of the discussion last time was that part of it had to be psychological, even if part of it is physiological. I think that makes it tough to combat. If it were ONLY physiological, you might be able to find some kind of remedy for it. But it's more likely that you're going to have to battle different kinds of causes. Lam

LadyAngelika -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 4:57:49 PM)
quote: I have no idea what causes subdrop attempts a female version of LaM Isn't that like when, ya drop the sub cos you haven't tied her up tight enought? twirls her hair - LA

Lordandmaster -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 5:01:24 PM)
I THOGUHT IT WAS LIKE WHEN THE SUB DROPS BECUASE YOUV'E WHIPED HER FOR SO LONG

esclava -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 5:15:39 PM)
i would describe it as separation anxiety. it is very difficult to go through that range of emotions and then have that feeling of security discontinued abruptly... in time i think you feeling will lessen a bit as you get used to it. esclava

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 5:21:25 PM)
Just like subspace, sub drop is different for everyone and it takes awhile to get used to. Over time you will know when to expect it and how to endure it better. For now, do something nice for yourself, try and keep stress to a minimum, and stay connected.

Gauge -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 8:43:03 PM)
Are sub drops a new submissive candy? [&:]

imtempting -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 8:47:30 PM)
So a sub drop is like getting dumped in a vanilla relationship?

zaynab -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 9:48:46 PM)
i have to live with my Dom, i could never be without him... ever.....

mistoferin -> RE: Sub Drop (7/3/2005 11:10:15 PM)
quote: There have been several threads on subdrop. I had started a thread some time ago on this topic and got some great feedback. The name of the thread was "Real remedies for subbie flu?"

wednesday -> RE: Sub Drop (7/4/2005 1:50:56 AM)
Your seratonin levels are going to drop. That's natural. I get it a lot. The best thing for ME (mind you, everyone is different) is to do things that bring up my seratonin/endorphin levels. Exercise, try to find things that make me laugh, get plenty of sleep... just trying to balance out.

naughtinicki -> RE: Sub Drop (7/4/2005 10:08:11 AM)
Thank you all for your kind advice

harmony3709 -> RE: Sub Drop (7/5/2005 4:33:38 PM)
There are definitely some good tips on this topic, both on this thread and the one that erin mentioned and a few others. One tip I myself tried after reading it on these boards was exercise, and knowing the reason it helps was good for me as well, because it made sense. Doing exercise the day or two days after intense play or even just a weekend away like you had seems to help the drop happen more slowly and easily. For me, it is typically 48 hours after intense play that it will hit me HARD. So for me, I did find that working out at least once in there makes it an easier transition. Knowing what the problem was also helps me deal with it. In other words, knowing there is a legitimate reason for what I'm feeling and more importantly, that it will ease and go away with time, that is something I remind myself of often when I experience sub drop. I also cannot stress being good to yourself as well. I have a "spa basket" and I treat myself to a spa experience in my own home (luckily I have a whirlpool, that helps) and give myself some alone time to just pamper. Once I also went for a manicure and pedicure and even that bit of pampering helped. Lastly, talk to your Dom or your Master. For me, even hearing my Master's voice will help and telling him how I feel helps even more and when I do, he will find a way to spend some time with me to provide some reassurance and just a little quality time together. Blessed be, harmony

magiqnapa -> RE: Sub Drop (7/8/2005 8:08:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: naughtinicki This every day........ and most of the nights is something that I will never forget. But I am now home....... and back to reality......... and I find myself on the brink of tears nigh on constantly. The feeling of loss I feel is like nothing I have ever felt before. Hiding it from my family is becoming increasingly hard. Can I ask.......... Have others felt like this and does it happen often........ I have to admit still though that I would not take back a single moment of the past week. Honey I know. I am the absolute worst with Sub-drop. I am an Alpha-Sub (Sub to only my Sir....actually, I am more like a slave now) so I only have my Sir to submit to where some have more than one. We both have very busy lives, and he also has another very beautiful young sub he has been with for some time, where I am very green at this (which is what he likes about me...). When I have his collar on in training, I am all his. And he is all mine I think to a certain extent.....but I get sad when he or I am getting ready to go. We haven't even left each other yet, and i am already in Sub-drop. I will miss the constant attention, both physical and verbal, my endorphins go back to normal, and my LIFE goes back to normal. The only way I can get through it is to re-read the list of "protocol" he has given me (my slave rules), try to rememorize them, make sure I am following his daily rituals (ie: his dress code, no using the furniture while relaxing, calling others sir or ma'am, writing my thoughts in my journal on collarme so he can read them to see what i am thinking, making up poetry about the situations/feelings I am having) and looking forward to the next time he has time for my training, what he may do to me, and making sure I am bringing 100% dedication to the table when we are together. My Sir has said I can call him at any time of the day or night to talk. So, see if you have that comunication with your Sir, if not, running and writing help me pass the time until I can see him again. Take care....message me if you'd like to talk....

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