e01n
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KMsAngel: ta! (aussie for thank you) *TWEET!* Technical foul! "Ta" is Irish for "thank you," which we brought with us to Australia. Two drink penalty! First Down!
Cruellers: <sigh> you really want this, eh?
Version #1 - Kinda Granny-like:
1 c. sugar
1 tbsp. butter
2 eggs, beaten
1 c. milk
4 c. flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. salt (optional)
1 tsp. nutmeg
Cream sugar and butter. Beat in eggs and milk. Sift flour, cream of tartar, salt and nutmeg together. Add to the above ingredients. Add more flour if needed. Fry by the tablespoonful in hot oil. Feel arteries harden. Enjoy shortened life expectancy...
Version #2 - A totally perverted version courtesy of me dropping a line to A&DB.
Dough:
4 large egg yolks, room temperature
1 large whole egg, room temperature
2 ounces sugar, approximately 1/4 cup
3 ounces unsalted butter, melted, approximately 6 tablespoons
6 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
20 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 cups, plus additional for dusting
1 package instant dry yeast, approximately 2 1/4 teaspoons
1 1/4 teaspoons kosher salt
Vegetable oil or cooking spray
Filling:
8 ounces light brown sugar, approximately 1 cup packed
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
Pinch salt
3/4-ounce unsalted butter, melted, approximately 1 1/2 tablespoons
Icing:
2 1/2 ounces cream cheese, softened, approximately 1/4 cup
3 tablespoons milk
5 1/2 ounces powdered sugar, approximately 1 1/2 cups
For the dough: in the bowl of a stand mixer with the whisk attachment, whisk the egg yolks, whole egg, sugar, butter, and buttermilk. Add approximately 2 cups of the flour along with the yeast and salt; whisk until moistened and combined. Remove the whisk attachment and replace with a dough hook. Add all but 3/4 cup of the remaining flour and knead on low speed for 5 minutes. Check the consistency of the dough, add more flour if necessary; the dough should feel soft and moist but not sticky. Knead on low speed 5 minutes more or until the dough clears the sides of the bowl. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface; knead by hand about 30 seconds. Lightly oil a large bowl. Transfer the dough to the bowl, lightly oil the top of the dough, cover and let double in volume, 2 to 2 1/2 hours.
Combine the brown sugar, cinnamon and salt in a medium bowl. Mix until well incorporated. Set aside until ready to use.
Butter a 9 by 13-inch glass baking dish. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface. Gently shape the dough into a rectangle with the long side nearest you. Roll into an 18 by 12-inch rectangle. Brush the dough with the 3/4-ounce of melted butter, leaving 1/2-inch border along the top edge. Sprinkle the filling mixture over the dough, leaving a 3/4-inch border along the top edge; gently press the filling into the dough. Beginning with the long edge nearest you, roll the dough into a tight cylinder. Firmly pinch the seam to seal and roll the cylinder seam side down. Very gently squeeze the cylinder to create even thickness. Using a serrated knife, slice the cylinder into 1 1/2-inch rolls; yielding 12 rolls. Arrange rolls cut side down in the baking dish; cover tightly with plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator overnight or up to 16 hours.
Remove the rolls from the refrigerator and place in an oven that is turned off. Fill a shallow pan 2/3-full of boiling water and set on the rack below the rolls. Close the oven door and let the rolls rise until they look slightly puffy; approximately 30 minutes. Remove the rolls and the shallow pan of water from the oven.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
When the oven is ready, place the rolls on the middle rack and bake until golden brown, or until the internal temperature reaches 190 degrees F on an instant-read thermometer, approximately 30 minutes.
While the rolls are cooling slightly, make the icing by whisking the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer until creamy. Add the milk and whisk until combined. Sift in the powdered sugar, and whisk until smooth. Spread over the rolls and serve immediately.
So you look at this and say, "damn, these look just like the ones from Cinnabon - but better because they've made my kitchen a large marital aid." Which is true... but AB & I offer the following as "crueller implementation hack v1.0":
Roll dough to 12x18 cut into 1 1/2 inch strips. Twist and put on pan, rest and raise as directed for the rolls. After the morning rise in the oven, fry in shortening and roll in cinnamon/sugar. Feel arteries harden and enjoy shortened lifespan...
I refuse to comment on what other application learning to eat these without hands might have.
Roommate Matt: Bless the boy's heart - he looked in the fridge and asked what was wrapped up in the cheesecloth/colander/baking dish contraption. I could only answer "Greek fireplay and hors d'oeurve"... (yes, I'm making haloumi at home for use as saganaki.)
Then he asked about what this "computer vacuum" was... Mercifully, I stopped him before he cleaned my laptop with my violet wand.
And yes, I deliberately walked away from the image war after Insty reminded me that the "admins with guns and beer" might be in poor taste...
Corsets: if $ is the object, why not make a rope corset? I'm sure you have 99.999% of what you'd need on hand... An nice malesub example:
Model: Delano, Rigger: Bridgett Harrington - howtos: http://japanrope.com/tutorial5/tutorial5-t.html (BH's), http://www.bdsm-chicago.com/cram/TUTS_corset_larkshead.html (MorTis), http://www.amazon.com/Seductive-Art-Japanese-Bondage/dp/1890159387/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2/105-1553369-0951654 (in Midori's "Seductive Art")
As to my nostril, I refuse the nomination. I've better awaiting approval... 
< Message edited by e01n -- 9/3/2007 6:01:54 PM >
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RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 
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