LadyAngelika
Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pleasureforHim This sheltered woman needs help understanding the sexuality of BDSM people. Alright, I’m willing to help you out here, but first things first. This is not the sexuality of the BDSM people. All that I will discuss in this post applies to society at large, whether they practice elements of BDSM or not. If we were to discuss the sexuality of people that incorporate BDSM in their lives, we would be talking about power/authority dynamics, not gender/sexual orientation. That said, there is much gender/sexual orientation diversity within BDSM. quote:
This thread actually made my brain hurt. Before i found BDSM, i knew about straight, gay and lesbian orientations..and real people who lived them. All this exists in and out of BDSM type relationships. This exists in the vanilla world. quote:
Now, as i read this posts here, i am hearing about: bisexual women who prefer men (at least that's how it sounded) bisexual women who prefer women (same caveat for all these catagories) het flexible (which i did not understand) bi curious (how long can one remain curious before one is moved to the "bisexual" catagories?) Ftm Transsexuals (sorry; do not understand what a trasnsexual is; much less a "Ftm" one; why is this different than cross-dressing?) Bisexual is bisexual. Some like women a little more, some like men a little more, some are 50/50, it’s all a question of personal taste/choice. I think that EmeraldSlave2 gave an excellent distinction between het flexible and bicurious. As for Transexuality, well that is a topic all on its own. I’m not the expert on transexuality though I do know a bit about it. Some experts will say that transexuality is one of the manifestations of transgender. CalliopePurple started an excellent thread on gender. There are more then likely a few collarme experts on transgender and transsexual issues. I’m sure they will speak up. Oh and Ftm means Female to Male and Mtf means Male to Female. quote:
Please, please do not be offended -- but it appears people change their sexual orientations in their 30's and possiblly later. Apart from gay and lesbian people who have been closted, i was taught sexuality was a part of the personality formed as the teenager becomes a young adult..and certainly by age 25, unless some pathology was at work. i have trouble understanding why this developmental dynamic does not hold true for BDSM people. Not everything you were taught was right! ;) I say that with respect. Studies on the cause/origin of sexual orientation have been conclusive. The debated between nature and nurture is still going on. For every study such as this one that says that one is either gay or straight, there are other studies being done to prove that everyone is bisexual. Kinsey was one of the pioneers of such research and he came up with a scale for sexuality that rated people from hetero to homo with everything in between. quote:
i can follow Lady Angelika's posts on the subject; how interaction with other peoople impacted her. It did not chage who she was sexually, but it changed how she interacted with others. i think if we are honest, we are all different in our interaactions because of our histories. Oh my! Oh no, my sexual orientation has been a battle and a half darling!! I went though about 7 years of my life with the wrong sexual identity. I sometimes joke about being a "recovering lesbian". I am identify as bisexual—for lack of a better word— today. I am attracted to women but they aren’t the object of my desire. Also, I have come to realise that though I did love a woman once, I more then likely cannot love a woman the same way I know I can love a man. I went to see a highly recommended therapist when I came out as a lesbian at 20. That didn't change a thing because I was convinced this was me. The therapist actually helped me embrace my assumed sexual identity and told me that often, when lesbians still have sexual desire for men, that is because they were socialised to want this. Now that might be true, but in my case, it wasn't. So in fact, going to see a therapist reinforced my sexual identity choice. So now you can see perhaps why experts giving their opinion on my sexuality is such a sore spot for me! What I did to figure it all out was a minor in sexuality. I did my own research ;) quote:
What confuses me is tha apparent fluidity of some people between the different "sexual orientations". Sometimes i think people refer to themselves as bisexual in part to avoid be labeled or expected to conform. That's terrific..as long as the sexual gratification and relationship building also occurs. I think that people would not identify regularly, out and openly as bisexual if it wasn’t true. Believe me. It doesn’t make you more popular, it just creates a lot of drama. My parents went through hell explaining to people… “well yes she dated a girl for two years, but now she is dating a guy…” and my parents are extremely conservative and private people. I wish I could have spared them some of this. Hope this helped some ;) - LA
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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove
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