RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Male Subs.

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/17/2007 5:39:39 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Feliw

ok, please dont get angry with me for asking this but, what is exactly the diference between a Dominant and a Top?

Get angry? I'd only be mad if you decided not to ask the question. Although very similar, these short definitions should clarify the slight differences in the two.

Dominant: One who is in controll, taking charge and having everything his way by command or force.

Top: The peron on top taking the dominant role during a scene or when fucking. Being the more forcefull one at those special times.

Now comes the phrase "Top from Bottom"

Top from Bottom: Calling the shots while in the submissive position. You are not on top doing the fucking and such but you are saying what's going on every step of the way. A massachist telling a sadist how hard, fast, and hot to make things. Though most Doms and subs have has an understanding when a scene must stop, a Top from the Bottom does not submit and do as told.

Dominant does not equal Sadist

Submissive does not equal Massachist.

Does this bring any clarity to all this crazy leather chains chica chica bow wow beat me whip me freaky sex life we all share in common on this site?

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 1:19:30 AM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TopMeeeeee

Because male Subs are looking for TOPS, not f doms.

There aren't as many female tops as there are female doms. A female dom is not interested in the Male Subs "List" of activities He wants to played on Him.

In what world are you living in that Female Dominants and/or Tops outnumber male submissives? FemDoms are the smallest demographic in the kink world, male subs the largest. Why are there Pro Domme's? Because there are more than enough submissive clients out there to pay for their services.

Oh, just quick btw, by your own arguement - the male "subs" with "do me" play lists, they aren't "submissives", they're bottoms.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to TopMeeeeee)

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 8:29:57 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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Um ... why there are more girl doms than male subs?

There aren't.

(in reply to TopMeeeeee)

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 9:24:27 AM

TopMeeeeee

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Joined: 8/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

quote:

ORIGINAL: TopMeeeeee

Because male Subs are looking for TOPS, not f doms.

There aren't as many female tops as there are female doms. A female dom is not interested in the Male Subs "List" of activities He wants to played on Him.

In what world are you living in that Female Dominants and/or Tops outnumber male submissives? FemDoms are the smallest demographic in the kink world, male subs the largest. Why are there Pro Domme's? Because there are more than enough submissive clients out there to pay for their services.

Oh, just quick btw, by your own arguement - the male "subs" with "do me" play lists, they aren't "submissives", they're bottoms.

YIK,
- Geoff

Holy lord $hit! Man i'm kind of thinking I wrote it wrong. One thing is theres not enough male submissives for the femdoms but there are plently of male bottoms to go around forever. Its why femdoms cant find male submissives. I know this seems like a harsh thing to say the male submissive is harder to find and those femdoms arent interested in kinster bottoms looking only or mainly for sex or sexual bdsm play.

How i see it is this.

Male bottoms > femdoms. (more male bottoms for femdoms.)
Male bottoms who are into the physical sorts of kinky play outnumber femdoms.

Male submissives < femdoms (less male submissives for femdoms)
Male submissives interested servitude extending over and above play are not as prevalent and the femdoms outnumber them.

Still trying to figure the reason out. No luck, so far. lol

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 9:43:05 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TopMeeeeee

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

quote:

ORIGINAL: TopMeeeeee

Because male Subs are looking for TOPS, not f doms.

There aren't as many female tops as there are female doms. A female dom is not interested in the Male Subs "List" of activities He wants to played on Him.

In what world are you living in that Female Dominants and/or Tops outnumber male submissives? FemDoms are the smallest demographic in the kink world, male subs the largest. Why are there Pro Domme's? Because there are more than enough submissive clients out there to pay for their services.

Oh, just quick btw, by your own arguement - the male "subs" with "do me" play lists, they aren't "submissives", they're bottoms.

YIK,
- Geoff

Holy lord $hit! Man i'm kind of thinking I wrote it wrong. One thing is theres not enough male submissives for the femdoms but there are plently of male bottoms to go around forever. Its why femdoms cant find male submissives. I know this seems like a harsh thing to say the male submissive is harder to find and those femdoms arent interested in kinster bottoms looking only or mainly for sex or sexual bdsm play.

How i see it is this.

Male bottoms > femdoms. (more male bottoms for femdoms.)
Male bottoms who are into the physical sorts of kinky play outnumber femdoms.

Male submissives < femdoms (less male submissives for femdoms)
Male submissives interested servitude extending over and above play are not as prevalent and the femdoms outnumber them.

Still trying to figure the reason out. No luck, so far. lol

I don't agree. I think the numbers are pretty even, actually. D and s.

But do they recognize the authority in her, the submission in him? Is she put off by him, or him by her when the behavior does not conform to the fantasy or the preojection, and when put off or disappointed is there enough substance to the relationship to evolve?

I would say that a male submissive and a female Dominant who happens to dovetail with his notion of submission, and he with her interests as a Dominant are highly unlikely to find one another and it can take a long time. And even then it's entirely possible that people with fewer D/s mutual compatibilities may have MORE extra D/s compatibilities.

My husband and I have a lot of mutual areas of interest. There are some things I love that he hates and other things he hates that I love and as the Dominant, if I'm not remotely sensitive to that I'm really foolish. The fact that he, as a person, is suited to me makes that a challenge to be worked with rather than a dealbreaker out the door.

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 10:00:24 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
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I completely get the point and differentiation you are making although language is not helping you here. There are plenty of male bottoms around who really want to be done. Want to play. Want to give up some semblance of control maybe, but only in the bedroom. There are loads of those types. Some of them are married guys looking for kinky sex on the side -- and I am not knocking that at all. They know they vastly outnumber the number of women who are interested. And I get short do me emails by the dozen from this group.

What is much rarer to find, IME, is a guy who really wants to explore surrender in relationship. MUCH less. And in this way the numbers game does not necessarily work in my favor. My experience is not that there are so many to choose from, but rather how to find that diamond in the rough who really understands what I seek, and who has compatible desires.

Since many do not make much substantive distinction between the terms bottom and submissive or between domme and top, I think your point is getting a bit lost. And then some may get your point but have a different experience.

But I got you loud and clear. And I'm living it.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to TopMeeeeee)

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 1:39:19 PM

MHOO314

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Raises Her martini and says " yep, it isn't all about you".

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Mistress Hathor

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 5:46:42 PM

Rockwell

Posts: 63
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ITA males are taught that we come first and the world revolves around us. Its a mans world , except for those of us who know better ;)

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RE: The Answer for why there are more girl doms than Ma... - 8/18/2007 5:49:17 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TopMeeeeee

Because male Subs are looking for TOPS, not f doms.

There aren't as many female tops as there are female doms. A female dom is not interested in the Male Subs "List" of activities He wants to played on Him.

Well, I think it's quite a bit simpler than ya'll make it....

(They got tits).

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Post #: 29