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Tigrita -> RE: Body Modification (9/21/2007 6:40:52 PM)
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This is an interesting topic. I think a lot of it has to do with compatibility, and degrees of submission. One of my fist thoughts reading “I wouldn’t want to change who she is” is: but how does one define “who she is” (both her and him). Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately in this and other contexts. Some physical traits, to some people, do define who they are. A certain sense of fashion or hair style/color can be very important to someone’s sense of identity, and irrelevant to someone else, and flexible to another.
Personally, even when I was vanilla as could be, if I was dating someone and I got the impression he was an ass man, hell yeah I’d wear things that accentuated that, just for him. I’d even go out and buy new stuff and have fun with it. A couple months later, dating a boob guy, out came the wallet for the ‘Very Sexy Ultimate Pushup”, and a very fun super-plunge number I probably never would have considered if I hadn’t met the guy. Some women would abhor going and buying new clothes to please a man, but I’ve always thought of it as fun, even when they didn’t ask, and way fun in D/s to wear what he picks for me when he wants. My style is important to my sense of identity though, so I don’t see myself being comfortable with modifying 100% of everything I wear 100% of the time. That is just me. 100% modification I’m sure is just fine with other submissives and expected by their dominants; happy, lucky matches, those. It is all about what works for you and finding someone who is compatible.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Celeste43
You do better to find someone who enjoys this in and of herself, not for you, and who will add tattoos or piercings because she wants it, not because you do.
How does this then reflect any dominance and submission? Not that it is a bad mindset, and potentially a factor in personal compatibility, but it has nothing to do with D/s in my opinion. I can clearly see the rise a dominant (and a submissive) could get out of changing someone physically (and being changed), for the very reason that it is something she wouldn’t have considered or wanted for herself prior to his suggestion, and isn't doing for herself, but for him. Just the very fact that it is a change imposed by him could be gratifying for both parties. For example, I think it could be very satisfying for a dominant to make a blond out of a redhead, and also a redhead out of a different blond; or a natural girl out of a mall-maven, and a done-up bombshell out of a low-maintenance type. She might not enjoy this for herself, but both might enjoy the submission and control it demonstrates. Just the fact that he has the power to change her, and the outcome not mattering as much as the level of control/submission. But if this changes her identity in an unhealthy way, I can’t imagine it working out for either party. But again, things that define identity, and their degrees of flexibility are different for different people and just need to be discussed openly and respected going into these kinds of changes.
Edited to add more thoughts.
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