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EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: about newbi,s(myself) (7/7/2005 6:08:50 AM)
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ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
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Why not? If a slave meets a Master, spends a full year getting to know them. Dates and plays and falls in love, and finally agrees to take his collar and tragically dies three days later, was she not a slave for that short term?
You're straying far from the original context in which you presented the idea and in which advice is being given and discussed.
We're talking virtually clueless newbie. Your original statement mentioned only "talking with a dom."
This is a far cry from someone who clearly identifies as a slave and has spent many months getting to know them.
If we want to discuss giving advice to a slave who has an entirely different set of experience and understanding, then my advice will be very different and I would agree with you on other points. But I'm sticking with the original context.
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And you think you were born that way, eh? None of the little mistakes you did make helped you at all in being able to better avoid bigger mistakes.
In some ways, yes I actually do think I was born, and I was absolutely raised to be able to take from others experiences so that I didn't have to take them all.
Of course challenges can make us stronger, but if people simply did that, then we wouldn't have people like this young novice ASKING for advice to perhaps avoid some of the obvious ones, would we? We ask advice to try and make a better informed choice and avoid things.
My advice was an attempt to do this, and while you may make a post and change your perspective depending on the majority voice/number of posts, my voice remains the same no matter who posts how many things about what. And I know that my advice was not only sound, it was reasonable, encouraging to growth, AND helping to avoid common obvious mistakes as well.
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It is an obvious strawman to suggest I said "rape will make you stronger". Rape, abuse, and molestation are not "newbie mistakes". They are life changing traumas that leave you forever scarred. Commiting to a dom online only to find out he is married...now that is the kind of thing that will toughen you up without fucking you up.
Taggard
Or you could simply NOT become committed to anyone at first, find out through some time and reading and exposure that this happens a lot and what signs to watch for and avoid the situation completely and still be toughened up.
My analogy of rape was a slight hyperbolistic statement to make a broader point. A lesser version would be to say, I don't need to burn my own finger on a stove to know not to touch it.
We do essentially agree, getting into bdsm and Ds takes no more skills than any reasonable mature adult should have when getting into vanilla relationships. But novices in frenzy generally haven't figured that out yet. I'm the LAST person to suggest we protect the poor little hormone driven fools from their own choices, but when someone asks advice, I give it to them on their level that can reasonably help them.
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