Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Am I wrong to feel this way?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Am I wrong to feel this way? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/19/2007 5:05:13 PM   
Keket


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/16/2006
Status: offline 		Over a year ago my house adopted a new boy and I instantly fell for him.  He was not at all what I thought I wanted but he nearly completes me and hs offered me over a year of wonderful service.  As of late th Master of our house has had to take a hiatis (unsure of this spelling) and I have been left to control the house in his stead.  As the acting dominant I have been very weak some days and even to the point of jumping ship on others.  My submission feels like a fading memory and I am seeking a Master for myself.  My question is not limited to one side or the other, but rather a question of my place here.  Iwas not sumissive in the house so I am left with desires unsated by the house itself.  In this time of being the house Dominant, is it wrong to be focusing my free time on finding the right Master for me?
Am I being selfish and greedy, or simply trying to sate a need?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/19/2007 5:16:44 PM   
e01n


Posts: 1472
Status: offline 		no.

Well, to explain: no - if you aren't happy, no one else will be either. Embrace the fact that you're between two positions: Master above and subs below. So who gives a rat's ass if they serve you by occasionally playing top (NB: not dominating)? Who's to say that makes you any less of the House Dominant?

Besides, who said that a Dominant didn't have a phase of being a submissive first? Most of them did as their training...

Then again, I'm not OG and never will be. Do what thou wilt and have a good time while you're at it.

Oh - almost forgot: whatever LuckyAlbatross says, listen to it. She says many good things...

< Message edited by e01n -- 8/19/2007 6:04:00 PM >

(in reply to Keket)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/19/2007 5:35:29 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's wrong if you haven't let your current relationships know that's what you're doing and get them prepared for those changes.

But the desire to want your whole self fulfilled and taking steps towards having that happen isn't wrong in itself at all.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to e01n)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/19/2007 6:54:38 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: e01n

no.

Well, to explain: no - if you aren't happy, no one else will be either. Embrace the fact that you're between two positions: Master above and subs below. So who gives a rat's ass if they serve you by occasionally playing top (NB: not dominating)? Who's to say that makes you any less of the House Dominant?

Besides, who said that a Dominant didn't have a phase of being a submissive first? Most of them did as their training...

Then again, I'm not OG and never will be. Do what thou wilt and have a good time while you're at it.

Oh - almost forgot: whatever LuckyAlbatross says, listen to it. She says many good things...
What he said.

especialy that last part...


_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to e01n)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/19/2007 7:09:00 PM   
Keket


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/16/2006
Status: offline 		The house knows of my intentions but I know it makes my boy uncomfortable. He wishes he could fulfill all of my needs and I doubt this can be true.

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/20/2007 5:09:43 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		If everyone knows what you are doing why are you questioning if it is right or wrong?  Selfish? I'm fine with selfish.  Greedy?  Depends.   Clarity with yourself and with others is really what is important.  And what works for all involved should be fine.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Keket)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/20/2007 4:44:39 PM   
SpankYouHarder


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/1/2007
Status: offline 		It is easy to get overwhelmed. I was a Domme and at one point had 4 subs one I was married to for many years. I have gone back to my roots of being sub, with a Dom that also likes pain, so I guess you can say I am a service Top at times.  I like my alone time. I like my own space. I don't miss thinking for others, being responsible for others needs. I felt a great sense of relief.  The transition was not has not been easy. I try not to overwhelm my Dom.  I try to remember how difficult it is to balance everything.  I totally understand how you feel. I believe most have fight of flight response when overwhelmed or anxious. Given that, don't forget to ask for help and communicate first. I wish you luck and happiness.  I have  yet to go back to topping others, but I know I will at some point. Perhaps double top with Sir.  Right now I feel free and at peace living alone spending about 1/2 my time with my Dom.  If talking it out does not make it better or counciling then maybe it is time for you to take flight?

(in reply to Keket)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/20/2007 5:33:13 PM   
BreePix


Posts: 208
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		do what you feel is right....as long as everyone in the household knows how you feel

sometimes you just have to do what you have to do

and when it comes to feelings there is no right or wrong at least to me there isent

(in reply to SpankYouHarder)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Am I wrong to feel this way? - 8/23/2007 5:19:05 PM   
Keket


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/16/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you to you allfor your input and kind words,  I can only hope that utilizing them will help.

(in reply to BreePix)
Profile   Post #: 9
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Am I wrong to feel this way? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.203