looking for some advice

looking for some advice (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

thisisacatalyst -> looking for some advice (8/19/2007 7:59:51 PM)
so i was with a guy for a year and a half and he is really in to this scene and while i never researched or really considered it much i was always interested. i've explored with him but we never got into it very seriously. now he is seeing someone else but i think wants to explore with me. he actually asked someone if they would help teach me with him as the sub. i dont know if i'm comfortable doing something like that while he is seeing someone else. so i guess what i am asking is it werid to want an emotional connection with the person youre exploring with when its your first real dive into it?

littlesarbonn -> RE: looking for some advice (8/19/2007 8:02:55 PM)
There's nothing wrong with wanting an emotional connection with someone you explore in this lifestyle. Remember, you're allowed to seek whatever you desire (doesn't mean you are allowed to always get what you want), so if you need something more solid, then I can't imagine any reason to think why you shouldn't pursue just that. If he's not the one to help you seek that, then it's up to you to decide what to do from there.

Celeste43 -> RE: looking for some advice (8/19/2007 8:05:21 PM)
It is no more weird to want an emotional connection instead of casual sex whether the sex is vanilla or kinky. He wants to see someone else but play with you, has he told his girlfriend what he plans to do? If you don't want to be his kinky bit on the side, then keep holding out for someone who wants it all with you.

thisisacatalyst -> RE: looking for some advice (8/19/2007 8:12:51 PM)
no he hasn't told her. she is insanely jealous and gets angry even if we just hang out.

SimplyMichael -> RE: looking for some advice (8/19/2007 9:39:52 PM)
Drama...stay away... That said, I won't play without an emotional connection

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: looking for some advice (8/19/2007 9:52:13 PM)
I'm not sure why you are entertaining the notion of getting deeper into a relationship with someone who is cheating, and cheating with someone unstable? The fact that you asked the question shows you likely already know this isn't going to work for you- and I HOPE you know by now that knowingly choosing relationships with situations you aren't comfortable with isn't the path to bliss?

CuriousLord -> RE: looking for some advice (8/19/2007 9:54:15 PM)
Being comfortable in exploring oneself is important. However you feel comfortable is fine. Good luck.

TankII7871 -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 1:58:03 AM)
I have played with people I just met at clubs that night. While this can be fun it can never touch a scene I have with someone that I have a emotional connection with. Always remember if something doesn't feel right to you then don't do it. Eric

becca333 -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 5:03:36 AM)
He's cheating, and using both of you. There's no good future with him - kick him to the kerb now and get free. And don't play with people who have partners, there's no pride or self-respect in that. You deserve someone who'll care for you, not some jerk who's using you. Get involved with munches, meet people, make friends in the scene, and find someone who'll guide you and care for you - you deserve way better than him. There's genuine guys out there who will give you a wonderful experience as you learn more about BDSM.

LadyLynx -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 6:27:09 AM)
1. I never play with someone whose gf/bf/spouse doesn't know/or doesn't approve of our activities. 2. Asking someone for a spanking or a flogging is one thing. having any sort of relationship, however casual is another. So I need an emotional connection You already know the answear. I think you knew it when you asked the question. Good Luck!

Celeste43 -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 6:33:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thisisacatalyst no he hasn't told her. she is insanely jealous and gets angry even if we just hang out. She's not insanely jealous. She's jealous with good reason. He wants to cheat on her with you and she knows it. You both ought to kick him to the curb.

MasterMataeo -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 6:56:14 AM)
find someone else to explore your desires with ,, and hopefully they will be more understanding and honest MasterMataeo

trustingsubHF -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 7:06:54 AM)
i cannot see myself 'playing' with anyone that i do not have an emotional connection with on some level. i would not allow anyone to make you feel and differently about your opinion, the choice is completely yours and yours alone! good luck to you...

leatherette -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 8:21:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 He's cheating, and using both of you. There's no good future with him - kick him to the kerb now and get free. And don't play with people who have partners, there's no pride or self-respect in that. You deserve someone who'll care for you, not some jerk who's using you. So many here said it well, OP. becca: I totally agree and support your stance, albeit harsh. I think RESPECT is the key word here. NOTE: Men - vice versa - " She's cheating and using both of you" ( OK, I hear a 'so what if she uses me - hee' - but keyword: RESPECT). edit: to those openly polyamorous - kindly disregard above sentiment

breatheasone -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 10:26:20 AM)
I, and many people on here could not and would not be involved with a Dom/Master without an emotional attachment. So no...its not weird.

velvetears -> RE: looking for some advice (8/20/2007 10:53:40 AM)
i would take him up on his offer to dominate him. Invite him over and tell him you want to tie him to the bed. Then wear something very seductive, have a crop in your hand and tell him he's been a very naughty boy and need to be punished. Lean over the bed and whisper into his ear, "are you ready" When he eagerly shakes his head up and down, go to the door of the bedroom, open it up slowly and allow his gf to enter the room..... hand her the crop, kiss her cheek and tell her, "teach him a lesson he won't soon forget" [sm=lol.gif][sm=whip.gif]

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125