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SusanofO -> RE: What motivates you to love others? (O.O) (8/20/2007 9:36:11 PM)
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I like kind-hearted, brave and caring people with brains, and a self-depracating or sarcastic sense of humor (who like me back!! hehe)[:D] Note: You can definitely be brave and still be submissive. If anyone doesn't think so, then I think they are just wrong. My definition of brave is: Having grace under pressure (Hemingway said that, and I really like it and think it sums things up pretty well).
Love takes longer. I can be highly attracted to someone, yet not love them. I love someone if: I've known them quite awhile, and they've been very caring with me in situations where not everyone might have been, or taken the time to be. Also, if they are loving toward others, that is always a motivator for me. Plus the elusive X factor: "Chemistry"
This being loving toward others thing goes beyond merely "being polite". They have to really be willing to stick their neck out, and do something significant for their loved ones, make some kind of emotional sacrifice, and be willing to give of themselves. I am not referring here to money or material gifts. At all.
And I also am motivated by people who appreciate and love what I offer them in return - not "force" it out of me, as if it's some numerically reciprocal, "tit-for-tat" arrangement. I don't appreciate people who constantly "keep score" in a relationship - especially after trust has (supposedly) been established. I need to be with someone who will be willing to give me the benefit-of any-doubt, unless I have proven to be really remiss somehow, re:What we've come to expect form eachother (or agreed to expect). Not someone who is too insecure or immature to do that (anyone's "right" to be Dominating, or to need nurturing, aside).
A huge oversight, or a need to discuss a problem(s) is fine. But I really truly hate it when someone is so insecure they cannot deal, simply because I made 2 phone-calls to them, but they made 3 to me, and they are throwing a hissy-fit about that, etc. It's just too "junior high school" for me to deal with. I do consider myself to have a focus on fairness, but general whininess is a huge turn-off for me.
I am done - forever - with loving anyone who simply does not have the capacity to love me back. Ditto for those who cannot seem to manage their own affairs, yet expect me to hand over the reins of my life to them in some way (and this goes for submissives, as well as Dominants (I am a Switch).
My apoologies if this sounded like a "rant". It wasn't meant to be one.
- Susan
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