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SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: are they bi? (8/29/2007 12:20:53 PM)
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I just had this conversation with someone a few months ago regarding what is considered bi and what isn't. I'll note that these are MY definitions of bi. Yes, I said definitions (plural), because I think it's more of a gray area than black and white. Personally, I don't see the performance of any sexual act, whether it's kissing, oral or intercourse, as the basis of defining anyone to fit within a specific label or box. It simply means to me that they are open to sexual pleasure.That being said...this is how I explained my definitions of bisexuality.
Bi via submission. Someone else referred to it as situationally bi. Pretty much the same idea. Meaning that a sub wouldn't go out and seek someone of the same gender on their own to enjoy sexual pleasure. However, were they directed to do so, they will. They'll do it for Me. For My pleasure period.
There's forced bi, which is like situationally bi, but in a tied down and forced situation. My experience has been that this is often a first time situation. In a previous relationship the first experience at fellatio had to be in a forced situation to get him over the hump (no pun intended) and from there on it was a situationally bi scenario. Others I've discussed this with have also said that they would need to be forced to experience this for the first time.
Then there's full on bisexual. My definition of that is someone who is capable of having a loving committed relationship with either gender. Not just acquiesce to sex, but they are capable of maintaining a relationship with either.
You've asked him if he's bi and he's said "no". Why do you not believe that he doesn't know himself well enough to give you the correct answer? Why would you not trust his answer? Perhaps a better question to ask him would be "what is his definition of bi?".
His definition may be similar to mine in that it would be based on the ability to maintain a relationship with someone of the same gender rather than submitting to sexual acts. he may simply be conditioned to see submitting to sexual acts as a given within a D/s relationship, regardless of gender, in order to please his Dominant. While he may say he wants to do these things, what is the context of his doing so? Does he want to do them on his own? Or does he want to do them under the premise of doing so to please his Dominant?
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