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New and wondering - 8/29/2007 5:32:00 PM

KrystalDymondz

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/21/2007
Status: offline

I am new to this. Is there anything i need to watch for in my search for a master? Like signs that i need to watch for and cease communication if i see them?
krystal

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RE: New and wondering - 8/29/2007 5:42:09 PM

SirDraco7

Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

Yes. There are many.
First of all, trust yourself. If your gut says pull away, do so.
Secondly trust trust trust. You must and need to build trust before ANYTHING. Be it talk in IM, cam, talk on the phone or meet. And that is before sex, play or relationship. Be careful and make sure you know and trust who you are dealing with. If there is doubt either clear it up or wait for it to iron itself out. Don't ignore it and don't force it away, you will only put yourself into risk of getting hurt.

Also treat this like a vanilla relationship and meeting. Do not let anyone force you or order you or talk you into anything you are not comfortable about. You are your own self and you only have to submit to whomever you decide to submit to, not whom you're tole to submit to.
Get to know people as friends is the advice I'd give. If you can get along as friends, you would have a shot as Dom/sub.

And finally. Don't rush. If you rush and hurry things you will only open yourself up to disappointment and hurt.

Just my thoughts. Good luck. :)

(in reply to KrystalDymondz)

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RE: New and wondering - 8/29/2007 6:20:05 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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KD:

Draco gave you some good advice.

I read your profile and it screams, I am in charge. I want, you will do, and only when I am willing. Not very submissive.
You say you like to push people to make them want to punish you.

Here's a top 10 bit of submissive advice:

Dominants do not like to be pushed to punish their subs. Getting punished means you have been disobedient, disrespectful, broken a rule or any number of other infractions. This is noy a quality many dominants find appealing. And when they do punish you, it isn't on your terms or " when you don't mind ". Most submisives prefer to not get punished as it reflects poorly on themselves and their dominant.

" I want to try this as soon as possible so get in touch with me. Soon. " You may want to calm down, hang out in the forum section, browse the topics and learn and ask questions, read some books that deal with BDSM, attend a munch or two and get a real perspective on what it is that we do.

From your profile, it would * appear* that you are completely unfamilair with wiitwd, and I would encourage you to learn before you go jumpng into anything. Being unfamiliar with it, you are at a very high risk to be played with by some insincere people. <Matter of fact, I can almost guarentee it.> They exist here too, just like they do in the vanilla world.

Take a deep breath and exhale. There is absolutely no hurry.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to SirDraco7)

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RE: New and wondering - 8/29/2007 6:45:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Is that your wedding picture?

The same things that make a healthy vanilla relationship are what will make a healthy Ms relationship. People are people. The quicker you stop expecting things to be different, the sooner you'll be on your way to lasting fulfillment.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

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RE: New and wondering - 8/29/2007 8:30:10 PM

TakenPet

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
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Well put LA. The important thing, dont' rush into things and trust your gut. Your gut will always tell you when something is right or wrong and when it does, listen to it. Good luck in your search for fulfillment.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: New and wondering - 8/29/2007 9:02:11 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Just because someone calls themself a master does not mean that they are a master for you to automaticly serve. As much as you would like to impress, others should also have a desire to impress you. You should only serve someone who you feel is right for you. Everyone else with a pair of cuffs and a flogger is just another person who you do not owe anything to. Only give respect to those who earn it and vise versa.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to KrystalDymondz)

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RE: New and wondering - 8/29/2007 11:34:33 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

What would you look for in a vanilla relationship? What things would be red flags? What things do you want? Start there and add BDSM skills into the mix, if you're into that, too.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to KrystalDymondz)

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RE: New and wondering - 8/30/2007 5:45:11 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Trust your common sense, and only move at a pace you're comfortable with.

Stephan

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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)