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RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 6/27/2004 8:14:10 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Hypothetical:

Hello collarme_nickname,

I have read your profile and would like to speak with you further, if you are willing to grant me this honor. I apologize if I have not referred to you in the manner which you wish to be addressed as, and would hope you would forgive me and provide me with the proper form of address.

collarme_sub_nickname.

You are expressing your sense of being troubled by not knowing how to refer to the person you are addressing, and asking them politely how to refer to them.

- Sinergy

Wrong. If you insulted her with "Hello collarme_nickname" there is a good chance she will not read further. Don't get me wrong. Your attempt makes sense and I would not want an idiot who judges me not worthy based on only "Hello collarme_nickname".

However, she can afford to be a jerk because of the ten to one male to Female ratio. (HNGs flood the ranks of submissive males, but I can ill afford to toss away even an unreasonable one I felt was good enough to write to.)

If she takes the time to actually tell me how to address her, that not only alleviates my problem but allows her to delet the many e-mails she gets from HNGs that obviously have not read her profile.

< Message edited by iwillserveu -- 6/27/2004 8:15:19 AM >

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 6/27/2004 8:03:34 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Wrong. If you insulted her with "Hello collarme_nickname" there is a good chance she will not read further. Don't get me wrong. Your attempt makes sense and I would not want an idiot who judges me not worthy based on only "Hello collarme_nickname".

I get a sense that no matter what response I give as an attempt to be helpful that you will pick it apart and tell me it is not possible. I am unwilling to ride that merry-go-round, so enjoy!

From my perspective, a person who nitpicks to that level would be somebody I would not want to have in a relationship with.

But that is just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 6/29/2004 6:10:25 AM

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Joined: 6/10/2004
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There is no such word as Dominative.

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 6/29/2004 11:23:55 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

LoveLady is right. There actually is no such word as Dominative. It could be that the original one who posted the message referring to this may have meant Dominant, Dominating, or Domineering. Even so, the meaning of the post is easily understood despite the grammar.
Having said that, I would go on to say this. All people are different, coming from different regions, backgrounds, upbringings and experiences. Far too many of the ones who gravitate toward the BDSM lifestyle really have no clue as to what the D/s lifetyle really is, just as it is the same with ones who are repulsed and stigmatized it and those of us who live this way. The fact is, those who truly are dedicated to the lifestyle we have chosen understand this and try to "overlook" or to enlighten others who are not educated to the level of knowledge and understanding that many have. I freely acknowledge that I don't know all there is to know and never will, but I do strive to learn more and educate Myself every day.
I have recently met and am currently envolved with a very sweet, albeit "bratty" sub and I consider Myself very fortunate in that regard. I like brattyiness in My girl....lol
We met for the first time and started out in a vanilla environment just to get better aquainted and "feel" each other out. The others in that particular establishment didn't quite know what to think because W/we openly discussed D/s and our own thoughts and opinions without shame and were quite comfortable with each other before W/we went home. There has been little play so far since W/we are both still building the level of trust and respect which will be comfortable for U/us to progress further and that works for those who are not into D/s just for kicks or kinks. For others less knowledgeable, just going out to try and find someone to dominate or be dominated by, works, but it's dangerous and unpredictable, and I doubt those people truly "live" in a D/s relationship full time or want to.
To say that a peofile is too Dominant or not Dominant enough reall boils down to personal preferences, or what an individual percieves BDSM to be in the end. The truth is, one cannot be forced to submit to another unless she or he chooses to if they've done their homework and educated themselves. Please, people, the only way to obtain the knowledge required for anything in this world is to seek it out, study it, experience it, and decide if it's what you really want. But be careful what you ask for. You may just get it, and then what?
Just My two cents

(in reply to Ladylove)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 6/29/2004 11:37:32 AM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

There is no such word as Dominative.

I actually was under the impression this was true, so I went to dictionary.com and plugged it in and viola...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dom·i·nate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dm-nt)
v. dom·i·nat·ed, dom·i·nat·ing, dom·i·nates
v. tr.
To control, govern, or rule by superior authority or power: Successful leaders dominate events rather than react to them.
To exert a supreme, guiding influence on or over: Ambition dominated their lives.
To enjoy a commanding, controlling position in: a drug company that dominates the tranquilizer market.
To overlook from a height: a view from the cliffside chalet that dominates the valley.

v. intr.
To have or exert strong authority or mastery.
To be situated in or occupy a position that is more elevated or decidedly superior to others.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Latin dominr, domint-, to rule, from dominus, lord. See dem- in Indo-European Roots.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
domi·native adj.
domi·nator n.

----------------------------------------------------

It is the adjective form of the verb To Dominate.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to WatchDogg)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 6/30/2004 5:49:19 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I get a sense that no matter what response I give as an attempt to be helpful that you will pick it apart and tell me it is not possible. I am unwilling to ride that merry-go-round, so enjoy!

Actually, Sinergy, it was you who started this by telling me there is a good way to contact a person who will get upset if I adress them wrong.

There is not.

Yes, I will tell you everything you come up with is wrong if it is. Sorry if the truth is inconvenient. (I hate it when that happens.

)

No matter what anyone says about it being too dominant, if she says, "address me as Miss Bonn-Bonn or the message will be deleted unread" it will save a heap of guesswork on my part.

(Yes, Ladies, I'm not proud. I'll take any help you would give.

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 6/30/2004 6:47:19 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Yes, I will tell you everything you come up with is wrong if it is. Sorry if the truth is inconvenient. (I hate it when that happens. )

Fair enough, you know more about and have more experience with what you are trying to do than I do.

I do wish you success in your endeavors.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/15/2004 3:50:42 PM

angelthighhighs

Posts: 104
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline

i agree with you sub4hire...only when i read profiles like that. i usually laugh and say good luck.

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/15/2004 7:38:58 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
If "Mistress Jane" will delete anything not adressed to "dearest La-La" I want to know that. I've been told I'm disrepectful for not using "Mistress" and I've been told "I'm not your Mistress!!" Any help from her is appreciated.

I think titles should be discussed later and not assumed, as you have said here. Not every woman I know would like the title Mistress. I used to be Governess in a long online relationship. I was ok with it but it wasn't me.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/16/2004 2:15:33 AM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

Hey, Y'all-
Just wanted to put my ten cents in. I will not respond to form letters, letters which address me in a submissive tone, one liners or letters where the dude (and sometimes dudette) go crazy with the caps. (My, Y/you, U/us). That drives me bonkers. What drives me even more bonkers is the Pornographic letters I recieve. It seems disrespectful when I havn't even gotten to see a picture of they're face or hear what they think about Ayn Rand. Or Pink Floyd. Or Bob Dylan. And especially cats......
Anyhoo- I respond to these letters by hitting the block button. Life is too short to spend on people that don't read my profile in it's entirety, and people who are disrespectful. I will also block anyone who sends me a nude picture. I don't want to see a picture of you in the buff before I even know your full name and adress. Now, some people go for it. I'm just telling y'all my personal MO and hopefully it will help ALEXEI (and everyone else out there) out a bit.
As Always-
Berlin

(in reply to ALEXEI)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/17/2004 1:03:08 AM

angelthighhighs

Posts: 104
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline

it is my opinion that if someone is so concerned about how others address them that don't even know them, i perhaps wonder if they need that certain address to asure themselves that's who they are. for myself i prefer one that gets to know me as a person before we get into titles. there are those i call Sir, Ma'am because i've had a chance to get to know them a little, to know what they are like, to have gained respect for them. while common courtesy requires me (my own choice) not to call them hey you or sweetie...it doesn't require me to give them a title that in my opinion, they haven't earned yet.

if they're so concerned about what title you call them instead of you, who you are...why would/should you worry about having a second chance with them? i'd shrug and thank the gods that i got out of that one safe...lord knows what they were like. titles mean nothing unless they're backed up and without knowing that person, i dont know if they deserve that title.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/17/2004 12:04:02 PM

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

or hear what they think about Ayn Rand. Or Pink Floyd. Or Bob Dylan. And especially cats......

<Swoon!>

(in a very masculine, dominant manner, of course<g>)

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to MzBerlin)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/17/2004 4:57:01 PM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

*I love making men do that!!*
As Always-
Berlin

PS- I have never caught one when/if they gave in and passed out.

(in reply to topcat)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/17/2004 8:11:58 PM

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

I would say just be genuine in your profile with your desires and your statements about yourself. If you appear to Dominant to them then you likely are too Dominant for them, if not then great. Being direct is a great way to keep from wasting time.

(in reply to MzBerlin)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/18/2004 5:42:02 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I would say just be genuine in your profile with your desires and your statements about yourself. If you appear to Dominant to them then you likely are too Dominant for them, if not then great. Being direct is a great way to keep from wasting time.

- afmvdp

You recommend honesty? With women?

(For the emoticonically challenged, the reason I can't keep a straight face, am laughing and smiling might be sarcasm.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to afmvdp)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/18/2004 8:25:15 AM

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

quote:

or hear what they think about Ayn Rand. Or Pink Floyd. Or Bob Dylan. And especially cats......

<Swoon!>

INDEED! (although I know that Lawrence probably swooned more for the dylan and for me it was rand.)

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to topcat)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/18/2004 1:26:14 PM

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Madame-

Indeed- funny thing is, that though I hate rand with a passion bordering on madness, I love love debating her.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/18/2004 1:27:36 PM

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

I have never caught one when/if they gave in and passed out.

In that case:

<swoon!>
<thud>

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to MzBerlin)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/22/2004 4:07:19 AM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Madame-

Indeed- funny thing is, that though I hate rand with a passion bordering on madness, I love love debating her.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

*heavy Southern accent*'
Pooh!
As Always-
B

(in reply to topcat)

RE: profiles that are too Dominative. can it be? - 7/22/2004 4:08:49 AM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

quote:

I have never caught one when/if they gave in and passed out.

In that case:

<swoon!>
<thud>

Stay warm,
Lawrence

HaHa!!

AA- Berlin

(in reply to topcat)

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