fastlane
Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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Although Hetero/Male Dominate, you could substitute FemDomme/malesub and and the plot would not change. The romanticism laced within, is more fantasy and illusions of how one percieves the judge to interpet it. The conclusion should have been expanded apon, with some rebuttal (Hee, Hee, Re Butt al), by the prosecutor. The imagery was good and the intent to pull us all in to the courtroom setting was a nice touch, but should have been more descriptive. For example, The judge with his long grey locks slightly ajar and his scowl obvious, pulled the gavel from in front of him and banged it loudly on his dest as the veins in his neck were exposed as he screamed, "content of court, you will not talk about fucking doggy style in this courtroom, am I clear?" As he settled back in his position of power, the jury, clearly uneasy, began to touch themselves, eroused by the charges.
Over all though, the story expressed your logic on the subject and was well written. I would give you an "A", very well done!
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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.
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