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RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/20/2007 7:01:13 PM   
KruelMistressK


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/27/2007
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I love books.  I love shoes. 

I hate food stuff and flowers.  I would beat a slave with flowers and force feed him a box of chocolate. 

And diamonds are always good.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/20/2007 7:23:09 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
As you've never met her in person, I'd suggest you start with a nice card which you feel is appropriate for what the two of you have communicated between you via the web and/or telephone. 
 
If she's never been to Montreal before, perhaps you could include a "coupon" inside with an offer to take her to one of the sights you think she'd most enjoy?  If she has been there before, and mentioned such a place, I suggest you offer on your coupon to take her there as part of a present for her birthday and see if she "redeems" the coupon while she's in town after the two of you have met.
 
Remember this will be your first meeting, and things may not turn out as you'd like them to.  I wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable by giving her an expensive gift when she's not feeling connected to me and might decide there's no chemistry between us for her part and she's not interested in continuing things with me at all.  Also, if I have to use money to get a woman to like me, then I don't think she's the kind of woman that I'm interested in at this point in my life.  I prefer that she be interested in what I have to offer based on what she discovers on the inside of me, and not based on a materialistic perspective.  That's just my way of looking at things.
 
 - pixel
 
   Collared to Majik


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/20/2007 7:27:48 PM   
MadameVonne


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/15/2005
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Excellent advice majik.

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/20/2007 7:51:01 PM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
This is just me, but I would personally be very offended if I thought someone that I did'nt know yet in real life bought me a flashy and/or expensive gift. That feels too much like trying to buy your way into someone's good graces. I would honestly let your manner speak for you and get to know her for a few days. I am sure at that time you will have come up with a good idea based on who she is, which will eliminate the guesswork, and if you take her sightseeing, I am sure something will catch her eye, and then you can not only get an appropriate gift, but show how observant you are.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/20/2007 8:20:53 PM   
goddessAVA


Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline
well not if you had them set in a ring and matching necklace-be creative dear!  And beat him for the mistake, then make him pay for the new settings.  Of course you could hock them but then there is something VERY sexy about you throwing soooooooo valuable an item out, like tearing up an essay you made him write before reading it..........VERY sexy

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cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/20/2007 9:21:41 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

As you've never met her in person, I'd suggest you start with a nice card which you feel is appropriate for what the two of you have communicated between you via the web and/or telephone. 
 
If she's never been to Montreal before, perhaps you could include a "coupon" inside with an offer to take her to one of the sights you think she'd most enjoy?  If she has been there before, and mentioned such a place, I suggest you offer on your coupon to take her there as part of a present for her birthday and see if she "redeems" the coupon while she's in town after the two of you have met.
 
Remember this will be your first meeting, and things may not turn out as you'd like them to.  I wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable by giving her an expensive gift when she's not feeling connected to me and might decide there's no chemistry between us for her part and she's not interested in continuing things with me at all.  Also, if I have to use money to get a woman to like me, then I don't think she's the kind of woman that I'm interested in at this point in my life.  I prefer that she be interested in what I have to offer based on what she discovers on the inside of me, and not based on a materialistic perspective.  That's just my way of looking at things.
 
 - pixel
 
   Collared to Majik



Yeah if I had never met you in person and you showed up with anything more than a token to show you remembered my birthday, I would start thinking "stalker" and be uncomfortable honestly.  But you're the one who has actually talked with her, use your best judgment.

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/21/2007 3:56:39 AM   
matureSubFetish


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
Thank You to all of You nice people, for having so kindly wanted to
guide me. Some answers of mine: i do know some of the Madame's
likings according to Her profile. But, i cannot afford it, neither diamonds
or fur. She seems to be very high maintenance, expensive, classy...

Trying to know from a subtle way of asking, would ruin my whole
deep hearthed wish to Please Her differently from the "average"..

The meeting is, as i've pointed out, a very particular one, for the simple
reason, that She will be passing through my city from oct 7th to 14th.. She's from London. This meeting will allow me to buy something from Her. Yes, i'm a fetishist and don't think that a relation Mistress-slave comes out of all this.

i am seriously taking all Your recommendations. Yes, i do have some time
ahead of me, to look-shop around. After my meeting, i will post up the re-
sult of my meeting for all of You.

a warm Thank You

matureSubFetish

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/21/2007 7:45:43 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline
The gifts that show thoughtfulness and effort impress me most .. perhaps a great picture of the city...  or a book about the city... a bottle of wine or champagne, even a great basket of berries etc that I know took effort to find .. all of these impress me.  Its the effort and thought not the gift.  Pedicures and manicures are nice but are the easy way out .. not a lot of thought goes into them...

Expensive gifts when I do not know the person well offend me .. as I then think they are trying to buy my attention and that cant be bought.

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to matureSubFetish)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/21/2007 10:32:35 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
My thoughts are going toward a book about the history of Montreal, with a nicely written note inside the cover that she will always remember.  It would be a gift I would love to have.
 
I had to smile at how many mentioned the keyring idea.  The one My boy had made for Me says, "Proud Owner of LPslittleclip Purchased 8-25-07".  (That's specifically the date of a slave auction W/we attended where I 'bought' him.)  Now, don't get Me wrong.  My boy has bought Me more expensive gifts, but the one I cherrish most, is that keyring.

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/21/2007 6:05:34 PM   
efficaceous


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline
Good grief. How about making a charity donation in her name? No one could be offended by that, so long as you pick a decent charity (homeless one eyed puppy dogs for example...)

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/21/2007 11:01:13 PM   
stacydahling


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
Then you end up with a cat person who was mauled by a pack of dogs and allergic....

(in reply to efficaceous)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/22/2007 6:57:56 AM   
cbtok


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
There is not a single Mistress here who does not enjoy receiving something of yourself that is a nice surprise.

The real issue is the word nice.

So the thing to do is to listen carefully to her—or if you are corresponding via e-mail read and re-read what she has written. She will have given you a whole series of hints about her likes and dislikes. She will have indicated in some way what it is that is the absolutely perfect gift for her.

Domin8tingUrDrmz suggests rightly that you examine her profile and for any suggestions in e-mails. MsSophie is dead on in saying the gift should be symbolic, speaking from the assumption that you don't know this woman well. But I believe symbolism also extends to lavish gifts as well and I try to imbue any gift with symbolism. Symbolism is contingent on active listening.

And here's something else. Certainly when you meet her you should give her a token of your esteem for having offered you any of her precious time. Montréal is an absolutely wonderful city and I highly recommend that you treat her to a nice dinner towards the end of your stay and give her something of Montréal as a memento. Again, active listening while you are with her is the key. There will be something that she sees, something she looks at in a store that will catch her eye. It should catch yours as well so that you may retrace your steps when you have time alone to pick it up for her as a parting gift.

If she likes fish, I recommend that you take her to Symposium. It's a little Greek seafood restaurant to the East of the Park on Rue St-Denis. Reservations are at 514-842-0867. Prices are moderate but keep in mind you no longer get a discount in Canada, as the US Dollar is trading on par with the Canadian Dollar. If you want a pricy dinner, there's the Beaver Club at the Fairmont Raine Elizabeth Hotel on Boulevard Rene-Levesque 514-861-3511, extension 2448. A jacket and tie is required there.

I didn't much like Chinatown, as it's really small compared to other cities. You should definitely take her to Vieux Montréal (the old city). There are outstanding places to eat and enjoy yourself along the old wharfs. There's a casino just outside of Montréal and there are buses to the casino, but employees there work for the government and there is none of the excitement and consideration one would get from Vegas, Atlantic City or even the Indian casinos in Connecticut.

You'll have a great time in Montréal though. That's guaranteed as you'll be in her company.



_____________________________

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(in reply to stacydahling)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/22/2007 7:17:26 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: matureSubFetish
Thank You to all of You nice people, for having so kindly wanted to
guide me. Some answers of mine: i do know some of the Madame's
likings according to Her profile. But, i cannot afford it, neither diamonds
or fur. She seems to be very high maintenance, expensive, classy...

Trying to know from a subtle way of asking, would ruin my whole
deep hearthed wish to Please Her differently from the "average"..

The meeting is, as i've pointed out, a very particular one, for the simple
reason, that She will be passing through my city from oct 7th to 14th.. She's from London. This meeting will allow me to buy something from Her. Yes, i'm a fetishist and don't think that a relation Mistress-slave comes out of all this.


In my opinion, it would be unusual to expect or give diamonds on a first meeting, birthday or not. She has made it a point to let you know it is her birthday. If she is further suggesting or hinting at an expensive gift, I would be wary for her objectives might be material rather than social. Men are known to use women for sex. Women are known to use men for material gain. Does the overall story make sense?

I think it would be wise to take a step back and examine the situation. She lives in London and you live in Montreal. How much potential is there for a relationship? I think your gift should be commensurate with this potential.

I am not clear what you mean when you say you will be able to buy something from her (I assume that you did indeed mean from her and not for her given what you say next) , and that you are a fetishist and don't think an Ms relationship comes out of it. If you don't see any relationship potential and are interested in play only, I don't think an expensive gift necessarily brings that. In that event, I wonder if you are better off using those resources for professional domination. I am sure Montreal has lovely professional dommes whom you could more easily see again.

I think your gift should be thoughtful more than expensive. If she is interested in a social visit to explore how you two click, I think a thoughtful gift will achieve more. How about doing something that makes her trip more special: arranging a visit to a spa or arranging tickets for the two of you to attend a special entertainment event that she would enjoy.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 9/22/2007 7:21:31 AM >

(in reply to matureSubFetish)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/23/2007 7:45:35 AM   
matureSubFetish


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
my God.. i never thought i would get so much helping suggestions. Thank You to ALL of You. i cannot open myself more on the Lady, simply by res-
pect towards Her and of course not to give myself out.. if She happens to
read this whole topic. There is one thing that comes out from almost every
one here, it is a thoughtful gift. i appreciate LadyPact, Miss Harlet, cbtok
prixie (if i'm right) and undergroungsea's opinions and ideas. i still have time (a whole week) to set back and evaluate the whole situation. But a
picture or a book from the city, along with a keyring and a modest token,
sounds good to me. i really do not want to "buy off" Madame's favours or
anything in that sense. i just want to Please Her without expecting nothing from Her, in return.

cbtok and sea, there is nothing in the Madame's e-mails or within Her pro-
file, that indicate or refere to any hint of Her true likings. as for that some-
thing that i am purchasing from Her, it is a pair footwears and they are not
coming cheap..! (o.k. i'm sort of an.. $ub.). As for Professionnal Dommes in Montreal... no comments on that one. Thank You again. i do appreciate.

matureSubFetish

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 9/23/2007 8:05:57 PM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: matureSubFetish
Thank You to all of You nice people, for having so kindly wanted to
guide me. Some answers of mine: i do know some of the Madame's
likings according to Her profile. But, i cannot afford it, neither diamonds
or fur. She seems to be very high maintenance, expensive, classy...

Trying to know from a subtle way of asking, would ruin my whole
deep hearthed wish to Please Her differently from the "average"..

The meeting is, as i've pointed out, a very particular one, for the simple
reason, that She will be passing through my city from oct 7th to 14th.. She's from London. This meeting will allow me to buy something from Her. Yes, i'm a fetishist and don't think that a relation Mistress-slave comes out of all this.


In my opinion, it would be unusual to expect or give diamonds on a first meeting, birthday or not. She has made it a point to let you know it is her birthday. If she is further suggesting or hinting at an expensive gift, I would be wary for her objectives might be material rather than social. Men are known to use women for sex. Women are known to use men for material gain. Does the overall story make sense?

I think it would be wise to take a step back and examine the situation. She lives in London and you live in Montreal. How much potential is there for a relationship? I think your gift should be commensurate with this potential.

I am not clear what you mean when you say you will be able to buy something from her (I assume that you did indeed mean from her and not for her given what you say next) , and that you are a fetishist and don't think an Ms relationship comes out of it. If you don't see any relationship potential and are interested in play only, I don't think an expensive gift necessarily brings that. In that event, I wonder if you are better off using those resources for professional domination. I am sure Montreal has lovely professional dommes whom you could more easily see again.

I think your gift should be thoughtful more than expensive. If she is interested in a social visit to explore how you two click, I think a thoughtful gift will achieve more. How about doing something that makes her trip more special: arranging a visit to a spa or arranging tickets for the two of you to attend a special entertainment event that she would enjoy.

Cheers,

Sea


I concur.  I am going to go a few steps further.  For some reason - a red flag is going off for me on this Domme.  I have a sub friend who was contacted by a Domme scammer who trolled out a similar scenario and the destination at that time was Montreal as well... I think this is sketchy - but then who really knows....

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder


It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 10/6/2007 11:19:26 PM   
dominalisa


Posts: 129
Status: offline
no to diamonds on a first meeting or second, etc. I agree with 'undergroundsea' that it should be thoughtful not expensive.

(in reply to ocilla)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: what kind of proper gift to buy ? - 10/6/2007 11:37:26 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
Lisa, check your email asap please.
 
Irish

(in reply to dominalisa)
Profile   Post #: 37
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