babyland
Posts: 12
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"My experience started while doing research on the internet. I would describe myself as mostly being normal, and into the normal things. However, when I discovered my submissive side I was enthralled to discover the internet housed many like minded individuals. Wanting to further explore my fantasies I decided my luck with a local personals add. I did have some trouble in the beginning, mostly because the Mistresses would either ignore me, or just not take me seriously. I very quickly learned that I was doing something wrong, and it was the way in which I was communicating. Armed with this knowledge I quickly set out to find a Mistress to dominate me.
Finally I did meet Mistress Elizabeth. She was a well rounded Mistress with a sharp keen mind. I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but because I was so horny I would have said or agreed to anything. She convinced me that I was worthless to Her unless I studied more about the lifestyle. Over the next nine weeks, She had me doing research, writing papers, long phone conversations on what I learned. The entire experience was great, I did learn a lot about the lifestyle. However in this time period I was getting tired and bored of the whole thing. I wanted to explore my fantasies and play; She wanted me to read and write. I started to complain and that’s when things changed.
She demanded that I come to her home and meet Her for the first time. I was so excited, you can only imagine! I very quickly showered and shaved, because this was something I learned from research. I was determined to make a lasting impression that would ensure a kinky experience. Finally, all this time spent fantasizing about being submissive I was going to experience it for the first time. My instructions were to depart and head towards Her home. She lived about 92 miles from my home, way out in the country.
When I arrive to Her home my heart is racing. I am starting to think about backing out of the whole thing scared as to what the hell I was doing. But I did summon up the courage and made way to knocking on Her door. Much to my disappointment a male dressed in a maids uniform answered the door. My first thought, literally, was “what the fuck?”. I had read many things and obviously I knew from reading what was going on. But I did not have these fantasies, I wanted nothing to do with men. I started to tremble because for some reason I entered Her home. This guy took me into an adjacent room that was very dark. The place is actually very nice, that’s a different story though. The maid said this was the waiting room and that the Mistress of the house would be in shortly. I was to wait; and the maid left. The next sound still rings in my head. The door was locked.
I went to the door, shocked at this behavior. Indeed, the door was locked, and my attempts to call the maid back were simply ignored. I turned my attention to the room. The room, along with the rest of the house was really beautiful. The waiting room has no windows and is lighted by artificial lighting on the walls. This light was extremely dim. In the center of the room is a red, soft velvet couch. So I did what I could do, I waited. I of course was checking the room out in the beginning. But there really was nothing to look at. the walls were bare, the couch, the lights high up on the walls. Frustrated I decided to check out the comfort of the couch. It was very comfortable and I started to relax. After some time passed I noticed some soft music in the background. I could barely hear it and almost had to strain to do so. Much time has passed, it seemed like hours. Ultimately I ended up falling asleep. I was just a little angry with this woman at this point and I seriously just wanted to leave. I will never really know how much time actually passed, but I will say, it was a long time. I was hungry, thirsty, and had to use the restroom. Then all of sudden, I look up and see Mistress Elizabeth standing in a red dress holding a riding crop. She was just standing over me watching me sleep. As I was about to rise and give Her a dose of verbal abuse; She grabbed me by my ear and forced me to my knees. I didn’t have much choice, She was quick. She held me in this manner and spoke to me with great harshness. The whole experience was quite violent, but somehow She had won. She did tell me everything would be fine and that this was a part of the experience. When I asked what time it was She said it was time to surrender. I said, “no seriously, what time is it? how long have I been here?”. She reminded me that it is time to surrender and that I will be there as long as She desires.
The time spent in that home turned out to be just over two and a half years. Its hard to remember exactly everything that happened to me in the exact order. But long story short – as part of the House rules. I was never allowed to use the non human toilet, in fact my mouth turned into a toilet when the Mistress was in the mood. Many times this was a punishment. Further explanation is certainly needed here. The house had at least 7 people living in it. I never knew all of them. But when toilet punishment was in effect, everyone was allowed to use it; at least the ones who could.
The punishment bathroom was a special made restroom. She had several sadistic ways to ensure You complied. For example, there was a box where a submissive gets in. of course a standard hole for someone to sit on. The submissives mouth is fixed to the bottom end of a large funnel. You can only imagine the horror. It was possible to ingest the waist and not doing so was called “the toilet is backed up”. At this point, along with severe beating, the Mistress inserted a tube down into the stomach which was connected to a funnel that people defecated in. The tube was clear, so as You lay there in pain, helplessly in bondage, you could watch the piss and shit enter you.
It turned out I was a problem, always in trouble for just about everything. I was always being whipped and beaten. That was always painful, but being as pissed off as I usually was, I could fight it. I was being forced into slavery against my will. This woman seemed crazy! She ended up making me perform sexual acts with men, I was raped by them all the time. Apparently She was big into orgasm denial. She would tease and torment, then lock you up. She never allowed me to have an orgasm the whole time I was there. But the others, for some reason were allowed. I could always tell when She released one of the crossdressers on me, because the way they would smile when approaching me. These sex crazed maniacs raped me many times.
At some point, She made me wear a catheter. She said I would learn to respect Her Dominance one day. This catheter became a huge part of my life for a long period of time. It was always being put in, cleansed, taken out, changed, cleansed, put back in, taken out, changed. I really don’t know how long this happened but one day She said She was done. I was excited to hear this, thank God! She removed it for the very last time, and then put a diaper on me. She said I would have to wear a diaper for the rest of my life. With her laughing at me, the horrid look on the maids face, I knew She was serious. Part of me wanted to believe that She was lying, but sure enough, I couldn’t control my bladder anymore. I tried, trust me, I tried. At night was the worse, because I would sleep right through it and wake up with a wet diaper. Do you have any idea how scary this is? From this point on She had so much delight in giving me fluids. She forced me to drink all the time.
After torturing me this way She must have gotten bored and decided to continue forward with fecal incontinence. I always took great pride in being able to at least control that. She did give me laxatives all the time, and I knew it because of the effects. Sure I hated to shit myself, but I had no choice, I was in a diaper. With the constant bondage, there was no removing anything. But one day, She comes in and states that I would remain in a diaper forever. She said that now She will control the rest of my body. She inserted a hollow rectal tube. The device hurt, it seemed to force open the anus. She ended up using bigger and bigger ones. The experience itself is like knowing you have to use the bathroom, with much less effort. It doesn’t come out completely on its own, but little resistance can be used; at least in the beginning. During this time She gave me a laxative everyday. This continued for a long time; and it was the most painful experiences of my life. I was always cramping, hurting, I always had a rash, and the smell was just horrid. Needless to say, whatever She did, it worked. I have no control over my movements anymore.
There was really nothing about the experience I enjoyed. I just wanted to meet a kinky sexy girl to Dominate me. I wasn’t into all that crazy stuff She did. I read about it on the internet, but I didn’t’ think it would happen to me. I told Her what I wanted, what I wanted to experience and do. She had a completely different plan. Ultimately, She said I was completely disobedient, worthless, and a waist of Her time. A taxi cab took me back into the city. I thought I was done, the whole nightmare was over. But no, that crazy Woman sent me to a mental clinic. A nurse was standing outside seemingly waiting for me. As I got out She rushed over to me with a wheelchair. I was locked into the wheelchair and rushed into the building. I began to protest and tell Her about the crazy woman, but She silently rushed me into a waiting room. Fortunately there were other people in the room. I was bound to the chair, but I could finally talk! I was convinced that Mistress Elizabeth was about to go to jail, and I was going to send Her there! But the other people there turned out to be fricken weird. That’s when I truly realized I was at a mental institution.
Again, to make a long story short, I was admitted for suffering delusions and causing permanent incontinence on myself. They said I was self mutilating myself and that I had lost touch with reality. They drugged me heavily with something that made me sleep. I can barely remember the place. I would be taken into a room, and then someone that sounded just like Mistress Elizabeth would start talking to me. I could never see who it was, but I knew it couldn’t be Her. Probably what seemed a month later I was convinced I had made up the entire experience, and that it turned out I had a baby fetish. I made the experience up in my mind and then forced myself to be incontinent. They were very nice to me and helped me accept my fetish. They told me it is ok to be a baby, and that I am a baby, and that I will live a baby life. They taught me to meditate to go into a safe place called babyland. Every time I get nervous, if I just say, “its time to go to babyland”, everything seems better. The nurses did help me into a half way house. The nice lady there was so good to me. She loved to hear about babyland and would change my diapers for me. She even made me new clothing to wear. I had a very hard time finding employment, something about my personality, when I talk people just look at me weird. Except for my new landlord, She loved to talk to me. She would play with me all the time. Eventually, I stopped trying to find employment and would just stay home and let the landlord take care of me. This worked out great for awhile, but I was removed and placed into a homeless shelter. I really didn’t know what to do, I have to wear diapers, and now I was in a homeless shelter. Before, all my needs were taken care of, but now....people were mean and hostile. They were repulsed by me and treated me so bad. I was a complete mess, literally. Cloth diapers can be used, but then need to be cleaned. I didn’t know what I was going to do and a hard slap of reality hit me in the face. Three years later, here I am, confused, brainwashed, mind fucked, alone, broke, hungry, incontinent...
One night as I was laying in bed I heard someone approaching me, it was Mistress Elizabeth. I immediately went to my knees and begged Her to take me back. She enjoyed the experience I’m sure, and She did take me back. Now, I live by Her rules, Her punishments, I live to please and serve Her in every way. I simply cant exist without Her, as reality proved. I do think myself a better slave now, as She is pleased with my new attitude. I no longer feel She abused me in anyway, in fact, She saved my life. I was planning on committing suicide in the homeless shelter.
I of course told Mistress Elizabeth about my new baby fetish. She was so happy that I found who I was. She said I could be Her baby and I was so happy I started clapping my hands. Now, I live as Her baby. This is my story as it happened to me in 2001 to present. Mistress Elizabeth has asked me to write this, She told me to be adult like, She told me to be honest, She told me to be straight to the point. She said something about starting a new level of training, and that I wouldn’t be allowed to do adult things anymore, which is really fine with me. I hope this makes You happy Mistress :)"
May you forever and finally rest in peace
George Jewell
1972 - 2005
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