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RE: Date a criplle to be? - 6/30/2004 9:29:58 PM   
MystressAna


Posts: 33
Joined: 6/14/2004
From: Sacramento California USA
Status: offline
Hi Ana!!

I believe we met briefly at the Citadel Saturday night?
Nice to see a familar face here :-)

--bailey
[/quote]

Yep yep that was me. Nice to see you here bailey.
Ana :)

(in reply to baileythorne)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 6/30/2004 10:28:53 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
I'd meet a second time. As someone said to me recently, you can't have too many friends.

But, I don't think it would turn into something serious. I don't want another relationship with someone who needs a lot of help and support.

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Bait & Switch - Adult column

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RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/5/2004 9:34:42 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
being that I allready Own
two slaves that are wheelchair
bound Ill say nothing more.

(in reply to baileythorne)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/5/2004 9:38:06 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
I don't view disabilities as a compatiblity factor.

My mother has MS.

My SO was born with Spina Bifada.

Both have things that they are either limited in doing or simply can't do.

I treasure both of them.

I have loved people in wheelchairs, and with all sorts of disabilities.

I would never choose to not reap the benefits and joys of having those people in my life.

For me, again, it's ALL about soul. The shell is nothing to me.

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to baileythorne)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/6/2004 10:53:53 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
I cant say that Diva
for Me its about the
Soul
Heart
Body
and Mind
and all the
shells too.
I like
shells
round ones
with ripples
in em and
different
phases of
deterioration
ohhhhh and
especially
those ones
that have the
hairy looking
growths on em
oh gawd and
those tastie things
that come outta
shells Yanno
osters and clams and
especially scallops.
mmmmmmmm

oh gosh now Ive gone from
dating to food. I blame You Diva

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/8/2004 9:54:21 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
Everyone has different experiences. I changed my life for someone who was disabled and then spent years helping them, giving them almost all of my time and focus. Then I was thrown away like garbage when they changed their mind. Maybe giving so much ruined things. Anyway, I wouldn't do it again. Although, on the bright side, I did change his life a lot, for the better.

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Bait & Switch - Adult column

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RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/9/2004 10:35:44 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Guys, a variation.

She's perfect in everyway, but in ten years or so the MS might make her wheel chair bound and incontinent. Do you say that is OK, but not call her back, tell her you won't call her back, or spend ten years trying to avoid stressing her?


First, a comment: Not only guys have sex with girls! I've never understood heterosexism in the kinky culture. I find it quite insulting to say the least.

Secondly, having dated the most beautiful and intelligent woman who was paraplegic (and such a fantastic sub), I can tell you that this isn’t an issue for me. I would be more concerned about their emotional state when dealing with this rather then their physical state.

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/15/2004 5:42:41 PM   
SternMistress


Posts: 31
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline
I wouldn't have a problem dating a cripple to be (I don't like the use of the word cripple, so I'll use disabled to be), however, I wouldn't form a long term relationship with someone with MS for personal reasons.
My experience of MS was harrowing to say the least and given that MS is so unpredictable, I don't feel able to have it (MS) in my life a second time.
I'm fully aware that my post may sound harsh, but bear with me....
My mother was diagnosed with MS a few years ago. Over the course of five years I (and my siblings) watched our mother not only become disabled physically, but she turned into a different person. She was never able to accept her disease and became a nightmare to live with. We never knew which one of us she would hate next, we never knew when she would begin the all too familiar hysterical screaming. We all had her live with us, in turn. We all ended up with our sanity on the line, one way or another. I found myself drinking to numb the pain, my brother ended up seeing a psychologist after developing swallowing difficulties, my youngest sister ended up cutting herself on a regular basis and my middle sister had her asthma exacerbated (sp?) on many occasions requiring hospitalisation.
Towards the end of our mothers life, we had little choice but to admit her to a nursing home. The nursing home was very good, however, we had to provide extra staff for them to cope with Mums needs. We had a phone put in her room so that she could call us at any time, but that was used by mum to call the fire department or police to scream that she was imprisoned and being poisoned slowly. She would refuse to eat anything but candy, she would turn the air blue when the carers needed to turn her or wash her, but when we visited, she would tell us that they had left her in a pool of urine for hours. We knew this to be untrue because we had witnessed it all first hand.
For the above reasons, I would find it difficult to form a new relationship with someone who had MS.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/15/2004 7:06:16 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

First, a comment: Not only guys have sex with girls! I've never understood heterosexism in the kinky culture. I find it quite insulting to say the least.


Angelika,

Here is way to help you understand. You do not have to be European to be Eurocentric, but few people in Thailand are Eurocentric.

I could be homocentric, but that assumes thinking about homo stuff a lot. I tend to think about what interests me. I also tend to write about what I think about. I am heterocentric because I'm heterosexual.

As for homosexuals, OK. Just don't expect me to think long and hard about them. I also will not expect them to think long and hard about me.

Did that help you understand the heterosexist perspective any?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/16/2004 9:25:45 AM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline
Thank you for sharing Ma'am


stormi has to admit ..... you sound like a
helluva woman to know!

Thanks again for sharing.



Respectfully,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/17/2004 5:14:45 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline
iwill-
I think that the "shell" as subinfyniti and MDREAD call it, is secondary. I think that if you have a dynamic, you have a dynamic. If you're in love, you're in love. Accidents happen all the time, there's no way to know if person A, who has a perfect health profile and person B, who has a debilitating illness won't be in the exact same boat in ten years.
As Always
Berlin

(in reply to MystressAna)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Date a cripple to be? - 7/17/2004 5:41:01 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

iwill-
I think that the "shell" as subinfyniti and MDREAD call it, is secondary. I think that if you have a dynamic, you have a dynamic. If you're in love, you're in love. Accidents happen all the time, there's no way to know if person A, who has a perfect health profile and person B, who has a debilitating illness won't be in the exact same boat in ten years.
As Always
Berlin


Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me.
Gandalf: So do all who live in such times, but that is not their choice. The only thing they can choose is what to do with the time they are given.

I agree completely with MzBerlin's post, I dont believe there are any guarantees in life. The hand one is dealt is the hand one is dealt, what matters to me is how one plays the hand. Additionally, as somebody who has had a rather Zen outlook for many years, I would like to throw out that the only thing which truly exists is this moment in time.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you have it.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Date a cripple to be? - 7/17/2004 7:36:29 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline
Sinergy-
Just a sidenote about myself- I own THE ONE RING.
As Always-
Berlin

PS
extended version/original?
books/movies?
Silmarillion, read it?
-B

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Date a cripple to be? - 7/18/2004 9:03:03 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:


PS
extended version/original?
books/movies?
Silmarillion, read it?
-B


most definitely extended versions
enjoyed animated versions of The Hobbit and Return of the King (both by Rankin & Bass)
hated animated version of LOTR (designed to 'fill' the missing first 2/3 before the Rankin Bass ROTK - was not done by Rankin & Bass)
read Silmarillion(found it somewhat of a tough read, although this was about 20 years ago), enjoyed it
but then again when I first read the LOTR trilogy (I was 12 if I remember correctly), I found the first part of Fellowship very dry and tough reading - tough in the sense of nothing really going on to hold my interest
read Tolkien's other books (Lost/Unfinished Tales [I think - just got up and have not had coffee yet]), enjoyed them

lifestyle related note - in the R&B animated version of ROTK, there is a song being sung by the orcs as Frodo and Samwise are marching aross Mordor - particular line in song - "where there's a whip, there's a way"

as a side note, if you are looking for more stories kind of along the lines of a Tolkien-esque universe, I would strongly recommend Dennis McKeirnan (not sure of spelling of last name, again, is before coffee) - in sci-fi sections - he has written a number of books which I enjoyed immensely - all filled with halflings, elves, dwarves, humans, dragons, trolls, etc.

Apply usual caveats here

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An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Date a cripple to be? - 7/18/2004 9:19:00 AM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thanatosian
when I first read the LOTR trilogy (I was 12 if I remember correctly), I found the first part of Fellowship very dry and tough reading - tough in the sense of nothing really going on to hold my interest


Ah, validation! I tried to read the LOTR trilogy half a dozen times when I was younger and found it utterly and completely BORING. I simply couldn't get through it, because nothing seemed to happen.

That said, I think i'm one of the few people who found the movies way overrated too. They were mediocre at best, imnsho. I found the character development to be weak, the plot to be slow, and the special effects to be repetitive and nothing "special". I sat through the first one in the theatre, watched the 2nd one at home (was even more boring than the first, imnsho), and haven't attempted the 3rd.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Date a cripple to be? - 7/18/2004 10:33:31 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
I read all of those works by Tolkein. Found the second book in the trilogy to be rather boring since I was more interested in what was happening to Frodo, and it never happened in that. I did enjoy the movies, and I am happy the screenwriters stayed relatively true to the books. There are some aspects I did not like, but it is Hollywood.

I get goosebumps reading about Turin Turambar and Beren and Luthien in the Silmarillion, and find the geneology of the Eldar to be rather dry and boring.

I guess I just have a fascination for tragic figures who bravely walk into the darkness, who fight the good fight knowing that victory will not be theirs. I once played Roland in a school performance of the Song Of Roland. I got to fight the good fight against hopeless odds, and to portray a tender and emotional death scene.

Yay.

Sinergy

< Message edited by Sinergy -- 7/18/2004 10:35:37 AM >


_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to SherriA)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 7/18/2004 5:12:17 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline
This is off topic, but it seems that most of my posts are. Let's forge ahead!!
I read the entire trilogy when I was younger and re-read them again three summers ago. I have seen all of the movies on opening night and enjoyed them, but have to concede that they are merely pictures for the book. I believe that (After watching the gazillion special features on both The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers special editions *hours and hours* that the screenwriters, producers and directors did as good a job as they could have done without making this into a 24 hour movie. The Tolkien Trilogy (and it's preamble- The Hobbit) are works of an amazing nature, not because of their readability or necessarily character development, but in a true historical and intellectual nature. He created new languages and the books were merely vehicles to show a different plane. He was not thinking with the audience in mind. I am no Tolkien expert in a scholarly sense, but I have read as much as I could about the man and his creations since discovering my passion for the mythology behind the writing. I have read the Silmarillion, but mostly use it for a reference book now. I think that for the public in general and for Tolkien fans, that the extended edition movies are much better. They do have more character development.
OK, My head hurts.
As Always-
Berlin

(in reply to MystressAna)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 8/1/2004 5:11:21 PM   
tanna


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline
Might as well throw my two cents worth into the pile..

As a group, I belive the kinky folk are a more tolerant bunch than most.

Yes, even with the fact that disability may eventually happen, I would continue to see the person if they matched everything I was looking for as long as they had the right attitude about it.

I have a form of rheumatoid arthritis, called Ankylosing Spondylitis, that fuses the spine. It may eventually cripple me but I'm not letting it slow me down now, or ever as long as I can continue to fight it. It may or may not eventually affect my ability to play, and if/when it does I'll worry about it when the time comes.

So, I'm still looking for the right One no matter what package they come in. (well, ok, they have to be in a 'male' package)

tanna

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 10/12/2004 4:04:46 PM   
ChrisGreen


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/9/2004
Status: offline
Somewhat juvenile questions, and the word is cripple, or in my case i am allowed to use the word 'crip' while you are not, since, i presume, that you are not currently sitting in a wheelchair, whereas I am.

I was born with Asperger's Syndrome, and physical deformities to my spine and soft tissues of my body; at age five to ten I was raped and sexually abused.

Age 18 I joined the army, age 26 I broke my back, taught myself to walk, and stayed in the army though not as A1 but as B7.

I walked round Europe after the army, then owned 3 businesses, and am currently MD of a charitable company - so I am not an idiot or mentally deficient.

As a knock on effect of breaking my back I got polyarthritis - which comprises, ankylosing spondylosis and spondylitis: cervical spondylosis and spondylitis: systemic afffecting skin, intestines, liver and gall bladder - removed last year; osteo and rheumatoid in my spine. I am in pain acute and chronic on a 24/7 since 1976.

I married my wife, who is also disabled, and is Fem Domme after I went into a wheelchair.

My previous Mistress, died from MS and I was her live in carer, friend, partner and slave; and I looked after her son who was born with athetoid cerebral palsy and could only move the fingers of his left hand and has a mental age of 8.

It is a matter of who you are inside, not what you look like on the outside.

I do, however, appreciate that some people are turned on by 'crips', well goodluck to you.

I'm not turned on by people who are sexually turned on by Chris Green being a 'crip'.

_____________________________

Chris Green

Matron, sister or nurse wanted,
to administer discipline to unruly patient.

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Date a criplle to be? - 10/15/2004 3:54:30 PM   
LadySonelle


Posts: 280
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Santa Fe NM
Status: offline
Actually, disabled subs are sort of a (no pun intended, but still gleefully enjoyed) sub-specialty of Mine! I feel that a disability tends to focus the person who has it more on the 'here' and 'now' of doing things.

as for kneeling, if a sub cannot kneel, s/he can do the Egyptian Obeisance (bent forward slightly (or farther, according to his balancing abilities) with both arms stretched forward at waist level, hands flat, palms down parallel to the floor. If the sub requires a cane or walker, then either Roman Obeisance (one hand on the balancing device, the other across the chest with palm to shoulder) or simple bowing of head is in order. If only the head is bent, then the slave, if s/he can, must also "make a leg" meaning to place one leg forward, toes pointed, as s/he bends hir head to Me. Think of trick horses bowing and you will get the image.

If balance difficulties are severe, then I fall back on the standard Military Salute or even the Egyptian Blessing stance which is straight up, head tilted forward, hands out from sides (the fingers must be at least six inches away from the body) hands turned so that the palms are facing Me.

For submissives who have difficulty in holding still, such as in some forms of cerebral palsy, where restraints can be difficult, I will modify My restraints with a length of bungee cord between the cuffs so that they may have a certain degree of involuntary movements, but still have the bondage in place. Hard bondage is *not* a good idea with athetoid, paroxysmal or spasmodic movements as it can throw muscles into a painful spasm and even damage joints.

For slaves with breathing difficulties, I either do not gag at all, or I use a wide open tube gage so that the airway is not restricted.

Subs in wheelchairs are the most fun! Oftentimes a wheelchair user has trememdous upper body strength. I can use their chair or I can transfer them to standard equipment, beds, chairs etc. In order to transfer a person from a wheelchair if they cannot do it, themselves,, you first place the chairat right angles to the surface you want to transfer the user to.
like so: _______{ *_______ you are where the assterisk is, facing the wheelchair user. Have the brakes on the chair locked. Flip up the footrests and have the sub place hir feet on the floor. If the sub can brace, all the better. If not, you might have to brace hir feet with your own, but this is more dangerous.

Have the sub interlace hir fingers behind your neck and hold on. Place your own hands on the sub's waist and then, keeping mindful of your own balance, lean backward a bit, (from the knees and hips, not just the back) while straightening up. The balance point should (if your weights are similar) be between your four feet, By straightening, you lift the sub clear of the chair. Place one of you feet slightly back (enough to balance) and pivot on your forward foot turning the sub toward the surface you want hir on. From the knees and hips, lean forward, lowering the sub into position. Make certain s/he is balanced and settled, then turn and move the chair.

To return sub to the chair, simply re-position the wheelchair and reverse directions.

Impact play (floggings, crop etc) must be modified in submissives who have thin skin, nurological impairments or circulatory difficulties. A wide flat surface (belt, slapper) is often better tolerated than thin whippy strands. Timing of strokes must be slow in order to assess the effects between blows. Spankings and paddlings (with care) are actually beneficial to wheelchair users as it encourages blood flow to weight-bearing and helps prevent pressure sores (decubiti) from forming.

Do not feel intimidated by braces, canres, chairs, breathing apparati. The submissive has often dealt with all this stuff and has no qualms about discussing it. If you have questions, ask. No question is stupid if it is sincere. If you can eroticise the equipment, so much the better! I once dangled a sub's forearm crutches from his balls! Horizontally, of course!

Enjoy!

Lady Sonelle





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(in reply to Master1Alan)
Profile   Post #: 40
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