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Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 5:14:18 AM   
matt4u


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		Does it take a fairly spineless sub to be humiliated verbally? I really cant think of anything a domme would say to me that would actually humiliate me. Calling me names? LOL Saying I have a small cock? Again I just dont see where the humiliation is. Maybe Ive heard the phrase "sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt me" to often. Do you find that subs that can be humiliated with words tend to be a bit lacking in self confidence?
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 5:54:19 AM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		Even the strongest have their buttons that can be pushed.  It just may take longer to learn yours..............

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 9:15:48 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		It not just the names in itself but how the atmosphere and what else is going on. In truth name calling for healthy play obviously should have actual no real impact as that would be crossing over to bad stuff, but the names, actions and all the other surrounding things can certainly in the moment temporarily be humiliating.

I would also point out humiliating does not mean negative as much as embarrassment/shame which is in fact mostly based in situational settings then deep psychological beliefs.

For example if I was called a filthy disgusting slut during play it would affect me in the basis of how my Master is feeling or wanting us to act and what he is going to put me through but I have ingested so many other things while this is happening that my mind is temporarily change or exposed. If my Master was to say I am a filthy disgusting slut while we were having an ordinary dinner conversation I would simply just laugh.

It is about atmosphere!


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 9:30:54 AM   
LadyAlzara


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/31/2005
Status: offline 		Actually...I've found that slaves with high self-esteem enjoy verbal humilation.  slaves that have self-esteem issuses....leads to emotional landminds for the Top.  As a Mistress, I dont know your emotional baggage unless you share. 
Verbal humilation may not be your thing.  But, trust Me when I say...even you can be totally embarrassed...through a situation as easily as words.  Ever been accosted in a public bathroom by someone your Mistress has set up for ya?  It's an experience that's generally humilating for the submissive.  So, no....it's not always about name calling...and self-esteem. 
Z

_____________________________

~We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course~ Memoirs of a Geisha

(in reply to toservez)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 10:07:44 AM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme

Even the strongest have their buttons that can be pushed.  It just may take longer to learn yours.............. 



Exactly!  Suppose, matt, that your Lady whispered in your ear she was gonna fuck you in the ass?  ...and then she went and put on a strapon...   and put a finger under your chin while standing over you and said softly... 'Suck me, bitch'  ...and cuz you sooooo want to please her...you did suck her strappy.  And...she withdrew it and asked you... what are you doing, baby?  and you tried to say "as you asked, Maam" or some such nonsense...and so she asks again.  "WHAT are you doing exactly, boy?"  and you murmer..."Sucking your strap-on, Maam".  And she asks ..."My what?"  and you repeat...and she says pardon me ..."My what?"  And finally you have to say "I'm sucking your cock, Maam". 
 
And later...when she's taking your ass...you're on your back; knees up...and she's looking into your eyes and whispers softly... I know you'd really prefer a real one...we'll see if we can arrange that, sweet one; I know you want it.
 
Might that press some buttons at all?
 
Just curious,
MsB

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A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to MamaDomme)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 10:28:40 AM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		Well, matt, I see you're still here.  Speachless, are ya?
 
I just read your profile, it seems I may have miss judged you.  I suppose those whispers should have been more about your ass, a dog, a knot up yer butt, being tied to a skateboard and video taping you being drug around the house by a dog waiting for his knot to go down.  Sorry.
 
But yeah, everybody has something that will make them blush...
 
B

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to MsBearlee)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 2:49:15 PM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		We like to humilite a donkey by putting him in a circle and having ourselves AND our slaves spit in his face.

(in reply to MsBearlee)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 7:53:08 PM   
QueensWay


Posts: 22
Joined: 7/17/2007
Status: offline 		Verbel insults was something that really tripped me out when I first started investigating D/s. I found some the trashiest trash on the internet; men with screen names like 'pathetic fuck' and such and since then I learned that one of the biggest problems when speaking of humiliation is that it's an almost entirely useless word. As a hundred people, and you'll get a hundred different definitions. Something that would be mortifying to one person is an enormous turn-on to another.


Also since then, I see that humiliation is pretty much unavoidable in BDSM scenes and I know that perhaps as I've become more comfortable and less insecure with the idea of verbel humiliation I've found areas where I can go. It's very hot to verbally insult a man and can be very fun.


(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 7:56:14 PM   
paulag


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I just read your profile, it seems I may have miss judged you.  I suppose those whispers should have been more about your ass, a dog, a knot up yer butt, being tied to a skateboard and video taping you being drug around the house by a dog waiting for his knot to go down.  Sorry.
 
But yeah, everybody has something that will make them blush...

 
 
 
Well yes that might do it.

(in reply to QueensWay)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 7:57:17 PM   
onlyHisgirl


Posts: 101
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		i love humilation the nastier the better and Daddy is really good at telling me exactly what i want to hear...i know He doesn't really mean certain things but when W/we are scening it is definately a turn-on to be degraded like that for me.

(in reply to QueensWay)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 9:42:20 PM   
idroolchicksrule


Posts: 64
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		Mental barbs from a skilled forked tongue have an effect on me that physical pain can not come close to. I guess I am weird like that. The rest of the time my self esteem is healthy, but far from arrogant. Sometimes I wonder what kind of world we would live in if everyone had a monthly dose. Would it have an effect on Americas collective arrogance? Therapeutic humiliation anyone? Kidding of course....

(in reply to onlyHisgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/20/2007 9:58:28 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Lacking self confidence? No not at all. Everyone has buttons, even those who say that they do not. A Domme can figure out what these buttons are and use them in a humilation session. But what I have noticed is that an act is more humilating then a word, put the two together and you have a very hot scene.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to matt4u)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/21/2007 2:40:29 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Hi Matt

I see others have said much the same thing already - but really there is always something which will do the job, and its nothing to do with self esteem or self confidence as to what will work and how effective it will be.

The thing is, that although there are perhaps some things which will work on most, really its a case of knowing someone well before one will know exactly what works on them personally. It often requires something tailor made, and learning what this might be, needs in depth knowledge which can be volunteered of course but sometimes needs a bit of digging to acquire.

I've only had this sort of in depth knowledge with one guy so far, and with it I can make him laugh, shame him deeply and even make him cry if I so choose. The latter is weapon of such devastating effect on him, its purely kept in reserve.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: Verbal humiliation - 9/21/2007 5:23:28 AM   
GregariousGreta


Posts: 42
Joined: 4/29/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		The first thing that pops into my head when I read this is maybe one isn't allowing themself to be humiliated.

Humilation takes a level of exposure and release from all inhibitions and walls that might be up. How can you be humilated if you're not allowing yourself to be?

It's not a question of if the sub is less self-confident, but if the sub is more trusting and willing to submit completely. Many people won't let their walls down until much later on in the D/s relationship, and that's understandable. So I suspect either you may be gaurding yourself or you might just not be affected. In the latter case, I'm sure there's -something- that really eats at you. Everyone has something that can tear them down. Now if you want something that sensitive to be picked at is another question.

(in reply to matt4u)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Verbal humiliation - 10/5/2007 4:09:13 PM   
solvr70


Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme

Even the strongest have their buttons that can be pushed.  It just may take longer to learn yours.............. 



Exactly!  Suppose, matt, that your Lady whispered in your ear she was gonna fuck you in the ass?  ...and then she went and put on a strapon...   and put a finger under your chin while standing over you and said softly... 'Suck me, bitch'  ...and cuz you sooooo want to please her...you did suck her strappy.  And...she withdrew it and asked you... what are you doing, baby?  and you tried to say "as you asked, Maam" or some such nonsense...and so she asks again.  "WHAT are you doing exactly, boy?"  and you murmer..."Sucking your strap-on, Maam".  And she asks ..."My what?"  and you repeat...and she says pardon me ..."My what?"  And finally you have to say "I'm sucking your cock, Maam". 
 
And later...when she's taking your ass...you're on your back; knees up...and she's looking into your eyes and whispers softly... I know you'd really prefer a real one...we'll see if we can arrange that, sweet one; I know you want it.
 
Might that press some buttons at all?
 
Just curious,
MsB


omg...that would in fact push a number of buttons for me at least m'Lady.

i've been called a bitch, slut, made to ask for more of Her "cock" when being taken. but You do seem to know Your way around words to say the least. the threat for a Woman to have me take a real one for Her would push me over the edge most every time i'm sure. just have not found One with that sort of creativity and interests.....yet..

(in reply to MsBearlee)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Verbal humiliation - 10/6/2007 12:16:15 PM   
needDomme


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		My Gosh, How could any subs buttons not be pressed with a scenario like that.

Only me, need

(in reply to MsBearlee)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Verbal humiliation - 10/6/2007 6:51:05 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: matt4u

I really cant think of anything a domme would say to me that would actually humiliate me.


It isn't always what is said as much as it is when and how it is said.  It is all in Her attitude, timing and delivery....

I had a Drill Sergeant who could make a fairly innoculous term like "young man" sound so insulting that I not only blushed, I wanted to leap forward and strangle him.  I've served a couple of Dommes who made him look like an angel.

< Message edited by AFlyInYourWeb -- 10/6/2007 6:52:21 PM >

(in reply to matt4u)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Verbal humiliation - 10/8/2007 4:37:25 AM   
flag133


Posts: 19
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		verbal humiliation switches on my sub-beeing or my slave-beeing. It is the introduction to the physical treatment and a good overture.

(in reply to AFlyInYourWeb)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Verbal humiliation - 10/8/2007 6:52:05 AM   
biracalsub4wmDom


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		I LOVE VERBAL HIMILLIATION.
I didn't at first, but was introduced to it by a Dom who was very skilled at making the words sound very apealing & very HOT.  Especially the word ni$$er.  (I won't say it here, as not to offend anyone.)  Being 1/2 black, this word seemed utterly OBSCENE to me.  When we met, I was like..."There is NO WAY I'm letting some White Man call me that word.  FUCK THAT!" 
Now I live for it.  Makes me wet instantly.  Especially when it if prefaced by something like "My precious......" or "My beautiful....." 
Ahhh...Heaven!
It's all about your minds, and I also like the mental irony. 

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***




(in reply to flag133)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Verbal humiliation - 10/8/2007 11:08:30 AM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		As others have said, it depends on the sub.

In my case, humiliation is a hard limit due to past abuse. Facial slapping the same. If that were an interest in a Dom/me it would be  an indication to me that i was not suited to that person.

It is not that i am weak or have low self-esteem -- quite the opposite. But it would emotionally put me back in a place i struggled many years to get out of, not in the space that most Masters would enjoy.

Again, communication is essential.

_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)
Profile   Post #: 20
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