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age factor? - 7/19/2005 3:55:26 PM

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Hi friends,
new problem for me... there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis.... but they are in their early 20's and i have kids that age...

i've already decided to stay close to my own age or older for my own emotional reasons regarding this but when i explain this to people, they get hurt or offended... and this is making me feel bad....

i know im not responsible for someone else's feelings but i still feel bad... any advice?
~ zay

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 4:10:24 PM

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quote:

know im not responsible for someone else's feelings but i still feel bad... any advice?

Tell them what you just told us.

(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 4:10:32 PM

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quote:

new problem for me... there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis.... but they are in their early 20's and i have kids that age...

Since you are collared i am wondering why anyone wants more than a friend basis. I would dismiss them on that basis rather than their age, they should be able to understand that and not be offended. Otherwise it might help to put in your profile that you only want to message with a certain age group.

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(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 4:13:55 PM

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Hi zay!

If they get hurt or offended, that is not really harmful to them. Experiencing such feelings is part and parcel of life. Helps us grow. So, I would keep working that "not responsible for the feelings of others" thing...it's true. Who knows? If one of them had said something snotty or whiney to you, maybe that person will cool down, think better of it, and send you a nice, well-reasoned apology. That would feel good, wouldn't it? As for your feeling bad: I would say go ahead and feel bad...just not TOO bad and not for TOO long.

Bob

(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 6:11:22 PM

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I agree with Proud- their intentions are less than honorable, and that's the reason you should dismiss them.

However, yes I would feel saddened if someone I liked told me they could not be my friend just because of my age. But I would respect their choice.

(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 8:42:52 PM

perverseangelic

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Hrm. I can understand not being romantically invovled because of age, but my personal theory is that friendship is a kind of relation that is less dependant on an age dynamic.

I think I might try to convince someone that my age wasn't a factor in friendship. If gentle convincing didn't work though, it's their choice and I'd respect it.

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RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 8:52:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab
there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis.... but they are in their early 20's and i have kids that age...

but when i explain this to people, they get hurt or offended... and this is making me feel bad....
~ zay

At least all you are getting is their expression of hurt/offended. A few of the ones I've turned down have come back with racial hatred insults... I'm working on vastly increasing my comfort with the "N" word so that it no longer bothers me to read.. M

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(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 9:23:48 PM

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You don't have to worry about me. Sure I find you attractive and wouldn't mind doing a few things with you myself based you your pic but I know where you are comming from. For some ppl it's age, others it's looks. Then there's the whole socially clicking thing. I to have prefernces and standards which have upseted a few ppl in that past. Oh Boo Whoo. I to have been turned down because of my looks, height, hobbies, lifestyle, being BI, religion, income, cock size, and once because my name didn't start with a J but oh well. I like being my and I like my pet being herself and she likes me being me. That's what's making our relationship work very well.

The bottom line is that there is nothing wrong with standards. If someone wants to get all whinney because you turn them down then it's just proves the lack of there maturity and tells you that you really are better off without them. So do yourself a favor and don't get hurt by there idiotic rambles. You seem happy with what you have so stay that way.

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(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 9:30:22 PM

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Getting use to the N word from white boy trash that you turned down? WTF Chocolate Love Muffin? Click delete and ignore. Or atleast respond with, "This only proves that you are not really a sub and do not wish to serve. You're no longer even worth my time you lil craker with a twig prick." Then click ignore user.

I can't belive you'd take that from someone calling themselves a submissive less alone any one at all.

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RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 10:01:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
Getting use to the N word from white boy trash that you turned down? WTF Chocolate Love Muffin?
I can't belive you'd take that from someone calling themselves a submissive less alone any one at all.

I didn't say I took it Fangs, lol...
I just said that was their response... There wasn't continued "nice"dialogue or understanding on my part

.. M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 10:58:53 PM

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Say M......

I think your too nice of a Lady to have that kinda crap thrown at ya. And those guys better count their blessings they're not close by,because I'd lay money down you could make em' eat their words.

- The Ranger

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(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 1:12:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger
Say M......
I think your too nice of a Lady to have that kinda crap thrown at ya. And those guys better count their blessings they're not close by,because I'd lay money down you could make em' eat their words.
- The Ranger

Thanks Ranger.
You bet that isn't something that would be done to my face! The fact of the matter is that I wouldn't even need to get my hands dirty if it happened here; so cowards are protected by the anonymitiy of the net.. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 9:02:21 AM

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i like being friends with everyone, any age is great... im talking about sex stuff here...
i have kids who are in their 20's and it just gives me a "nails on the blackboard feeling" to blend the two...

(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 9:13:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

i like being friends with everyone, any age is great... im talking about sex stuff here...
i have kids who are in their 20's and it just gives me a "nails on the blackboard feeling" to blend the two...

As long as you understand it's your own personal prejudices and choices, it shouldn't be a problem.

Again I would feel saddened, just as I would if someone didn't even want to be my friend just because I was a woman, or white...but have to respect their choices.

(in reply to zaynab)

RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 11:44:23 AM

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Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
Again I would feel saddened, just as I would if someone didn't even want to be my friend just because I was a woman, or white.

Ah, zay said in her first post: "there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis". I think the key phrase is that these youngsters want to be more than friends, and that is what creeps her out (as it would me).

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: age factor? - 7/25/2005 9:08:08 AM

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Joined: 7/24/2005
From: Westminster, CO
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We all got our personal preferences towards what age group we wish to aim for. If someone doesn't like it well..they will live through it.

In my personal experience, i think my age has left me crippled in the dust. Being 18 and new to the lifestyle with less than a years experience and no r/t experience has a feeling that i am looked down upon and honestly not taken seriously. It's either my age, financial status(I'm a college student i don't expect to have 1000 dollars in my bank account lol)...or just the fact i don't even have a car yet. Something like that. I can't really say i'm hurt or anything. I'm just left with a mental scar saying "something tells me i ain't going to make it very far until i am in my 20s".

(in reply to onceburned)

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