LA's 6 month rule (Full Version)

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unsung -> LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 6:44:58 PM)

I am curious about the 6 month rule so often stated by LA.  Is there a reason for this 1/2 year pause and decifer period? 


Thanks in advance.



Exquemelin -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 6:47:56 PM)

Um this needs some explanation. 



UR2Badored -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 6:52:27 PM)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_211022/mpage_1/key_six%252Cmonth/tm.htm#211061

Just  practical advice.......take it for what it's worth.



AquaticSub -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 6:52:51 PM)


My best idea of LA's stance: A lot of people get really wrapped up in d/s relationships. Some people believe that the sub/slave can never leave unless the owner gives permission. Don't commit while wrapped up in all the "newness" and all excited about discovering what you are. Wait until you have more experience, know more about what you want and don't want.

Of course, LA will be the best authority on her own advice. I just thought I would give my own translation since it is an idea I happen to agree with. [:)]



spankmepink11 -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 6:53:07 PM)

I can't speak for LA, but in my mind the time frame of at least 6 months allows one to make relationship decisions  from a more  calm, informed place...and helps to avoid "rebound" relationships.  (which tend to fail)



dovie -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 7:01:36 PM)

yes!  others will be along to explain it, including LA herself.
excellent rule. gets my endorsement!

dream well,
dovie



RRafe -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 7:09:05 PM)

It gets one beyond infatuation.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 7:20:09 PM)

I agree with the translation the others have found..6 month rule gives newbies a chance to learn, and grow to open their eyes to the possibilities, while avoiding that sub frenzie thing, and to become a bit more wiser in their choice..and 6 month between relationship as others have observed for the rebound mistakes...cool/calmer heads always prevail..Tempting



DivaDuchess -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 8:18:42 PM)

I love that rule.  Giving the slave a chance to realize what she is feeling all the way through her being before giving into that feeling and being bound to the One.





RRafe -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 8:22:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaDuchess

I love that rule.  Giving the slave a chance to realize what she is feeling all the way through her being before giving into that feeling and being bound to the One.





Or finding out he's really a loon, and getting the hell away in time.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 8:44:38 PM)

What they said :)  Generally it gives the sub enough time to get past the initial frenzy, get past all their infatuation with the IDEA of being collared, forces them to spend SOME significant amount of time getting to know someone rather than leaping into a commitment and then dealing with all the mess of realizing it's not what you thought it was and ending it later.

Plus it gives them a chance to have FUN, explore and just get into it before getting all concerned about being "in a relationship."

For some very few people 2 months is more than enough, and for some 2 years isn't enough.  I found six months to be decent.

Of course I have yet to know anyone who ACTUALLY followed this rule at all.  But I'm still sure it would be for the betterment of all in general if they did.



xoxi -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 10:54:59 PM)

I'm confused.  6 months of what?  6 months of knowing someone before doing anything more-than-friendly?  6 months of dating someone before doing sexual/kinky stuff? 6 months of dating and doing kinky stuff before committing to a 'collar' or committed relationship?

elaborate plzkthx



chellekitty -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 11:24:15 PM)

i believe its 6 months of discovering her submissiveness before committing herself to a lifetime relationship or someother typical "sub-frenzy" notion



heartcream -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/22/2007 11:56:26 PM)

personally i dont love 'rules' of this nature. something that may apply to one is not at all conducive to the other. i do feel there is merit in coming here, having that sort of nutty feeling take over somewhat and then getting to the other side of it safely would be the best. i am new here, inexperienced at this point and watching and learning as much as i can. i am not sure what is on the horizon for me here. maybe cuz i am older my presence here is different than had i still been a young woman. i aim to best follow my heart, intuition and my own mind. lordy, i have made zillions mistakes in my life and maybe now i avoid some of the pitfalls. i think if you resonate with this advice that is cool. then again if you dont i think that is fine too.



probablyknowme -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/23/2007 1:23:53 AM)

Hi y'all [:D] Just wanted to share that Someone (yes with a capital "S") recommended this same school of thought to me when I was coming back into this lifestyle after a substantial absence. It resonated with me, because I know that sub-frenzy feeling rather well, and if I had not had His advice resonating in my head, I would have gotten into a rather unfortunate situation.

My milage....of course yours varies.



unsung -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/23/2007 7:39:32 AM)

Thank everyone for the responses.  I personally don't follow this rule however due to the wonderful learning curve I have been exposed to in my past.  Had I taken such advice with any degree of seriousness in my past it would have saved me a lot of heart ache for sure.  Quite similiar to the one year of honeymooning in vanilla relationships; there is a whole lot of excitement, sex is great and can never get enough, little trips out with the partner feel like heaven, skipping down the garden path with all things visible through rose colored glasses................ and then day to day life kicks in and all things are not so new and exciting any more, sex has decreased from a dozen times a day to maybe once a day if your fortunate to not have life interupting, or less if external factors have become a burden.  (I know we are talking bdsm as opposed to vanilla - however a relationship is still a relationship no matter which realm you place it)

I don't mind the 6 month rule especially in the perspective of making that lasting commitment; as I see where is it of more benefit than not.



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/23/2007 7:59:54 AM)

are we talking between relationships.. Sometimes it take longer then six months. they say four months for every year you been with someone to do a cleansing. there is a site with great advice it deals with the nilla side check it out grat info http://www.lovingyou.com .. deals with all kinds of relationship issues   



cautiousiasub -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/23/2007 8:25:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What they said :)  Generally it gives the sub enough time to get past the initial frenzy, get past all their infatuation with the IDEA of being collared, forces them to spend SOME significant amount of time getting to know someone rather than leaping into a commitment and then dealing with all the mess of realizing it's not what you thought it was and ending it later.

Plus it gives them a chance to have FUN, explore and just get into it before getting all concerned about being "in a relationship."

For some very few people 2 months is more than enough, and for some 2 years isn't enough.  I found six months to be decent.

Of course I have yet to know anyone who ACTUALLY followed this rule at all.  But I'm still sure it would be for the betterment of all in general if they did.


I've never heard of the six month rule before now. I will say that it was about 8 months before I was collared, and am very glad that I had those 8 months to explore and question. I would definitely agree with this guideline. :)



OsideGirl -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/23/2007 8:47:33 AM)

D/s relationships start on a sexual nature. People get wrapped up inthe D/s dynamic without taking the time to see if they actually like that person beyond the D/s dynamic. The D/s dynamic produces powerful emotions that tend to get attached to the other person, whether they belong there or not. For a new submissive, this is even more pronounced because it's a new, heady experience.

Six months gives you a time to stop and look at the other person outside of the new relationship frenzy, to judge if you really like who that person is as a person.



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: LA's 6 month rule (9/23/2007 9:02:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

D/s relationships start on a sexual nature. People get wrapped up inthe D/s dynamic without taking the time to see if they actually like that person beyond the D/s dynamic. The D/s dynamic produces powerful emotions that tend to get attached to the other person, whether they belong there or not. For a new submissive, this is even more pronounced because it's a new, heady experience.

Six months gives you a time to stop and look at the other person outside of the new relationship frenzy, to judge if you really like who that person is as a person.


i think this is true of any relationship this called the honeymoon period.
and your right it is very much a sexual frenzy. It is passionate exciting crazy.
you have to go through so much bs and all kinds of stuff to start anything.
and then there is no garentee. Is it worth the investment. it is like anything
y ou only get out of it as much as you put into it.



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