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Tigrita -> RE: Happiness in Slavery (9/25/2007 5:06:11 PM)
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Charlotte and Stephan,
I too feel happy and thankful beyond words. This is such an unexpected, beautiful, and irresistible path to have discovered and I’m ready to gather my spirit for life, part the branches, step forward and enjoy it for all it is worth, wherever it leads. It never could have happened if all three of us didn’t have an incredible trust, openness, curiosity, self knowledge, and spirit for adventure. I want to say I’m the luckiest girl in the world, but I really don’t believe in luck. This is so much more meaningful, and never could have happened to people who rely on luck. We all actively made this happen by being honest enough with ourselves to seek out what our deepest hearts ache for, and also by not fearing the unexpected and unknown, and instead embracing it and all its surprising beauty.
I’ve always ached for a man strong and dominant enough to keep me, and kind and deep enough to captivate my heart and mind. I’ve always had my eyes, heart, and mind open looking for that man, but was also prepared for the possibility that I’d never find him and that that ache would remain bittersweet, a part of me that no one would ever understand or fulfill. But when Stephan and I crossed each other’s paths it was like a moth to a flame. A bright, warm flame… a brilliant, loving light in a deep, monstrous darkness that I don’t fear, because I have both inside me too.
In never expecting to have my strongest desires satisfied, I never left myself much room to dream of exploring certain other parts of myself. I’ve always had strong dominant traits myself, but never imagined a relationship in which I could indulge this, since my primary desire was to be dominated. I also never let my mind wander too much towards women, but wander it did from time to time. And here, beyond my wildest dreams, is a sweet, beautiful girl who I can share these parts of myself with, who also has that same depth, spirit, darkness, and light that I admire so much.
People dream of falling in love, finding that one special someone who satisfies and complements them in the deepest ways, knowing how impossible that dream feels sometimes. Finding two hearts, contrasting and complementing, to share and amplify everything in myself, one another, and how we experience this world… inconceivable. Yet here we are. All giving and gaining so much strength from each other; growing together. There is no dividing, no settling here. In bringing three together, each of us has more, not less, of everything that makes life beautiful. Thank you both for your open minds, and open hearts.
~ J
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